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Friday, April 3, 2009

Now, this Sucks!!

Another interesting news story:

SAGINAW (AP) -- A man who police say was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in the Saginaw County Jail.

Jason Leroy Savage also must submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was sentenced Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16, 2008 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

The Associated Press left a message Wednesday seeking comment from Savage's attorney, Philip Sturtz.(Copyright ©2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

My TOP TEN thoughts:

1. Eeewwwww. (I repeat!: EEEEwwwwww!)

2. I have had dates that sucked, but c'mon.

3. This is the ultimate definition of lonely.

4. I would have PAID to have worked in the hospital's E.R. on the night that that this guy would have had to come to the hospital.

5. I would NOT want to be the next car in line at the car wash that night. And I sure as heck wouldn't want to vacuum my car out next.

(Note to self: ALWAYS wear rubber gloves to the car wash if you are going to use the vaccum).

6. Did the car wash TELL the next person what had just happened (when they wanted to use the vacuum next), or did they sit in that little booth and laugh their asses off as they watched them use it????

7. Is this what the car wash advertises as "THE WORKS" on their billboard?

8. How much did the car wash charge that guy to use the vacuum?

9. Was it cheaper for him than getting a hooker?

10. Maybe the guy said he wanted a HOOKER and the car wash worker (because of all the swishy water noises) thought he said he wanted a HOOVER????

And ladies?

We want equal time!!

So here is what I propose all car washes install----JUST for us !!! (should you be so inclined):

I just don't think I am strong enough to hold this up to my chest for very long...


Joanie said...

LOL!!! Oh my! That is so funny and yet... EW!!!!

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

You are too funny! Thanks for signing up to follow I'm finally trying to thank those who have.

The Retired One said...

Joanie: Yes, EEEEwwwwwww! ha

Sharkbytes: You are welcome. And, thanks for following my blog and commenting. We have a lot of fun, don't we?

Insanitykim said...

Oh my...

Sounds like there was a little too much Moonshine and Greek Mythology aspirations going on there...

I need that dual brush machine to wash my brain now!


Aria said...

OMG! Ok, so I'm totally NOT nurse material, but I'd LOVE to be the court reporter when this *ahem* bonehead goes to court. And you know that the car wash employees sat in their booth and laughed like loons. And my final question... Why oh Why would anyone do this at a car wash instead of in the privacy of their own home? Was his MOM (cause you totally know that this kind of looser lives at home with the parentals) using the vacuum or something?

Anonymous said...

This is pee your pants funny! YOUR comments and take on it I mean! HA!

The Retired One said...

Insanity Kim: Oh, so you have TWO brains? (And that is a new word of them. I think I will go to Victoria Secret and ask for the Brain pushup bra!) ha

Aria: Who knows why? Maybe he was an Exhibitionist?
I agree, those guys in the booth were probably laughing their asses off and taking his picture on their cellphones!

Cathy: Can't get the guy's image out of your head, can you? CAN YOU???
(Me neither!) ha

Sarah said...

Great blog!!!!

rainfield61 said...

Are you really serious on the equal right? Eeewwwww. (I repeat!: EEEEwwwwww!)

Insanitykim said...

Well, I was thinking of thoroughly cleaning each hemisphere actually...wait, that still sounds like I am talking about...

Brains, either type, having two is still better than men, who no matter what only have one...DOH!

Sara said...

EWWW, the image is in my head, yuck!! That guy must be pretty lonely. He couldnt use his own vaccum or something else? All I can say is I am using my own vaccum to clean out my car!!
Have a great weekend Retired One

Melissa said...

ROFLMAO... now that I have picked myself up.... you are so funny - your take on the whole icky thing :-) My mom is here and came over to see what I was laughing about.... she agrees with Cathy - to quote her "well, that is an image I didn't need".... oh, Mother, lol!!!

Kearsie said...

Can you imagine the phone call to the police?

"911, please state your emergency."

"Umm, yeah, there's this guy..."

"Yes? Is he ok?"

"Umm, yeah...well...he's sort of..."


"Umm, see, we're at this car wash with vacuums...erm, and he's using the vacuum..."

"Ok, and what is the emergency?"

"Well, see...he's using the vacuum on...himself..."

"...Erm, we'll send someone out right away *muffled chuckles*."

Lynn Kellan said...

Golly, why don't we ever see news items about women doing these types of things? Is it because we don't have the Y chromosome? Is that why we don't go cookoo having sex with the car wash? It gives a whole new definition to "hose bag."

dreamwalker said...

LMAO...brilliant idea? Uh no thanks.

The Retired One said...

Sarah: You are new to stopping by my blog, no? Please join the blog as a follower, we'd love to have you! (Seriously!) ha (Stopped by your blog today, it is pretty cute!)

Rainfield61: When I saw the graphic of that double scrubbie machine, I HAD to show it and say it!!

Insanity Kim: Hemispheres???? Well (she says, straightening the girls up)...they ARE out of this world!!

Sara: Sorry, didn't mean to make it worse for your germaphobia. But, at least don gloves! ha

Kearsie: They could've charged admission (in a sick kind of way).

Lynn: did you say Hose Bag!!!???? Bwaaaaahaaaaaaaa!!!

The Retired One said...

Dreamwalker: I told you it sucked! ha

Shelley said...

He must've wanted everyone to see his sick depraved behavior! Ewwwwwwwww!!!

Maniacal Mommy said...

Sadly, this happened not 30 miles from my town! Fortunately I don't use the car washes in that particular city. I vaguely remember a man trying to get it on with a park bench, which sounds just about as nuts as vacuum (tee hee).

The Retired One said...

Shellmo: Who knows??? I hope he had to stay a night or two in jail and pay a huge fine for indecent exposure. (And I hope they ran him through the car wash) ha

Maniacal: Oh you know the exact place it occurred??? I agree, I wouldn't want to use the vacuum there, that is for sure. ha
A park bench. OUCH!!!

J.J. in L.A. said...

And they say people in L.A. are weird. lol!

Btw, I've seen (on Most Daring) a guy getting it on with the grill of a car...and it wasn't his car!

The Retired One said...

JJ: Oh, yuck. ha

Rick (Ratty) said...

That seems like it must have been extremely painful. The vacuum, and the jail time.

jessica said...

Well, the dual-brush thing-y is okay, but I am now letting my mind wander, to see if there is a more appropriate attachment for the ladies. Something that would give us just as must "contentment" as the vacuum did for the aforesaid gentleman? (Hey, I got to use a big word! Woo-ooo!) And you thought that I would calm down in my old age?

June Saville said...

Some will spoil anyone's fun ...

Hey Retired One - my mystery 'Paternity' concludes on Journeys in Creative Writing today. Looking forward to your usual constructive comments.
June in Oz

Far Side of Fifty said...

I hope he got blisters and I hope they popped..what an idiot..LOL:)

The Retired One said...

Ratty: I am glad they were probably both painful for him. But, some people are IN to that. ha

Jessica: Maybe ouch on the women's version, too. ha

June: I am on my way, June. I am almost sad to know it is the last one though. Maybe you can do a sequel??

Far Side: Can we all say (together now!): IDDD-EEEE-OTTTT !!!

Loree said...

LOL that was funny but what's worse is that I read it'car wash woman' instead of 'car wash vacuum' so I was wondering at first what all the fuss was about.... I must've had too much dessert for lunch :)

The Retired One said...

Loree: So, you are looking for a Women Only Car Wash? Now that might not be a bad idea. But, they should have aroma soap for the car wash and color coordinated loofas to wash the car with!!!! And, they should give us a free massage while your car is going thru. Who said the economy is bad...lets open up a new line of car washes, ladies!!!!!

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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