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Friday, May 29, 2009

Dumb Laws: Arizona

This is part of a series I am doing on dumb state laws.

MY THOUGHTS are bolded and in italics.

Next up:

The wonderful state of Arizona!

1. Hunting camels is prohibited. (Oh, Boy...this should not be a problem. Have you seen any camels there?)

2. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. (Criminals: Take note. If you are going to rob a bank, make sure you bring your blue masks. Do NOT, (I repeat: do NOT) bring your red masks!)

3. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (Wonder if you can't wear a red mask when cutting down a cactus, either?)

4. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (Silly, didn't you know that donkeys only like to sleep in showers? Oh, and by the way, they like to spoon too)

5. A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”. (Like what? A peace sign?)

6. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. (Perfectly O.K. to manufacture real cocaine then?)

7. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses. (Let me get this straight. So, say a criminal or burglar brings in a gun and you only have a knife. You can't protect yourself then? Who on earth thought this gem up?)

8. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. (It is ok to refuse to give him/her a beer though. It is Arizona, we don't want anyone to get dehydrated!)

9. You may not have more than two dildos in a house. (Oh Lord! No comment!) (Other than: so how many batteries can you have?)(And who is going to enforce THIS one? Can you see it: Dildo security police? Going house to house to check the number you may/may not have?) (Wonder what the fine is per extra dildo? Are you fined per inch?) (Quick, somebody stop me please!)

10. In Globe, Arizona: Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. (You can rent the back room of the barber shop or play in church, however?)

11. In Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. (Don't be playing with frogs and bunnies, you hear?) (How do they define "bothering" them?)

12. In Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house. (Can somebody say The Best Little Whorehouse in Arizona?) (What about men? Can more than 6 men live in any house?)

13. In Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. (Everybody knows that smoking is bad for an alcholic's health).

14. In Mohave County and in Nogales: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. (Let's hope they don't have dry skin. They could be all raw and red when they were done. )

15. In Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county courthouse. (Maybe they can ride their Harley's then?)

16. In Tempe: One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint. (Because everyone knows that NO ONE in Arizona over 18 does graffiti).

17. In Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. (Thank God...this is the first law that makes sense. We don't need any more toothless people running around! Do you hear that Alabama?)

18. In Tucson: Women may not wear pants. (Woo Hoo! Must be a little breezy!) (Not to mention "scenic" !)


Shelley said...

Mental note to self - don't move to Arizona! LOL!! Still can't get over the red mask one. But I think most robber mask's are black aren't they??

The Retired One said...

Shellmo: Some of those Arizona laws were just plain weird, weren't they? Maybe they mistook a robber for somebody that had a bloody nose and let him go, so now its a law? ;=}

DKG aka Scrappy Doo said...

So many comments I could make so little time. LMAO

Insanitykim said...

HAHHA! My friend just moved there; I will send this off to her to make sure she and her family don't offend the state in any way...she IS from Alaska ya know...

Brittany said...

WHAT THE HECK did I move to?!?! Thank goodness I only have one dildo or I'd be screwed (and not in a good way) LOL! I'm not going to tell my husband the Tucson law...he might make us move there!!!!

Fran Hill said...

Re no 15 - any idiot knows that you don't ride a horse up a staircase in a county court - you carry him.

Anonymous said...

THESE ARE GOOD! And your "comebacks" are priceless!

Roshni said...

wow! This just deserves the crown for weird laws!! I just can't get over 5,7 and 9!!

Anjanette Young said...

Oh my goodness, these are hilarious...

Thanks for the laugh.

Ann said...

I just can't figure out what some of those people were thinking when they created some of these laws.

The Retired One said...

Scrappy Do: They make me speechless. ha

Insanity Kim: I know ALL states have some pretty weird old laws on the books, that is why I am going to do ALL of them!

Brittany: I thought you'd like these! Don't worry I will eventually get to my own state (Michigan) and I can laugh at mine too!

Fran: Funny girl!

Cathy: Glad you liked them...can't wait to get to Michigan's haha

Roshni: Every state has some pretty weird ones.

Momma Young: You are welcome. I love looking them up!

Momma Young: They are weird, in a sick way! ha

Grannyann: They are old ones, probably the cowboy and Indian days out west!!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Re: #12 - well, then it's a good thing my AZ brother only has 1 wife and 3 daughters.

Joanie said...

No camels? Well, Arizona IS a desert state!

Rick (Ratty) said...

I read a book of these when I was a kid, titled "Donkeys Can't Sleep In Bathtubs". They had a Michigan section that was also pretty strange, but the southwest states beat everybody for strange out of date laws.

Bernie said...

Joan I am amazed how you find these pieces of info. I love it.
Have a wonderful weekend my friend...:-) Hugs

Sue said...

This is a great example of how government thinks! Wow....thanks for sharing. It was a hoot!

The Retired One said...

JJ: That is funny! Good thing the Octomom doesn't live in Arizona and that she didn't have all girls to go with her other kids. I think she would have been over the limit.

Joanie: Good point!

Ratty: I will be doing the rest of the states in alphabetical order, so stay tuned! Some of those old laws are pretty bizarre.

Bernie: More are coming! I am going to do all of the states, in alphabetical order, if I can. There are some pretty weird old laws out there.

Sue: Especially LOCAL governments in the "older" days. More blog posts on weird state laws are coming....

Loree said...

I can't stop giggling...just what I needed this morning to forget that it's Monday.

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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