The wonderful state of Arizona!
2. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. (Criminals: Take note. If you are going to rob a bank, make sure you bring your blue masks. Do NOT, (I repeat: do NOT) bring your red masks!)
3. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (Wonder if you can't wear a red mask when cutting down a cactus, either?)
4. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (Silly, didn't you know that donkeys only like to sleep in showers? Oh, and by the way, they like to spoon too)
5. A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”. (Like what? A peace sign?)
6. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. (Perfectly O.K. to manufacture real cocaine then?)
7. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses. (Let me get this straight. So, say a criminal or burglar brings in a gun and you only have a knife. You can't protect yourself then? Who on earth thought this gem up?)
9. You may not have more than two dildos in a house. (Oh Lord! No comment!) (Other than: so how many batteries can you have?)(And who is going to enforce THIS one? Can you see it: Dildo security police? Going house to house to check the number you may/may not have?) (Wonder what the fine is per extra dildo? Are you fined per inch?) (Quick, somebody stop me please!)
10. In Globe, Arizona: Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. (You can rent the back room of the barber shop or play in church, however?)
11. In Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. (Don't be playing with frogs and bunnies, you hear?) (How do they define "bothering" them?)
12. In Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house. (Can somebody say The Best Little Whorehouse in Arizona?) (What about men? Can more than 6 men live in any house?)
13. In Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. (Everybody knows that smoking is bad for an alcholic's health).
14. In Mohave County and in Nogales: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. (Let's hope they don't have dry skin. They could be all raw and red when they were done. )
15. In Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county courthouse. (Maybe they can ride their Harley's then?)
16. In Tempe: One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint. (Because everyone knows that NO ONE in Arizona over 18 does graffiti).
17. In Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. (Thank God...this is the first law that makes sense. We don't need any more toothless people running around! Do you hear that Alabama?)
18. In Tucson: Women may not wear pants. (Woo Hoo! Must be a little breezy!) (Not to mention "scenic" !)