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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Bottoms Up!!

You know, some people, when they are in a crisis (or are just feeling low) go to some high hill outside and look up to the sky and ask their Creator for a sign. A sign that things are going to get better.

And, Lo and Behold!......they look up and see a wonderous rainbow!!

Some people see a picture of Jesus in a piece of toast.

Some people see the Virgin Mary statues cry real tears.


Feeling low, from all of the snow, looooonnnnnggggg winter, cold temperatures outside....did what others do not do.

I go to the bathroom. You know....just to ..................................(ahem!)................. contemplate.

So, I perform this (ummm) "ritual"............I go to use the bathroom and happen to need some more toilet paper. And what do I see when I pull the TP out of the cupboard?:

Do you see the heart?
Being the curious observer that I am, I then go into the cupboard to do some (what else?):

Toilet Paper Research.

I pull out the entire package of toilet paper that this roll came in to see if they had all been squished into heart shapes.


They are all perfectly round.

No hearts.

So, of course, being the suspicious type.....I figure it is a sign from The Force that I am loved. Even my Tushy. (Which I tell ya' a LOT to love!) Pah-pum-pum!

I mean my husband SAYS he loves my tushy. But as all women know, he's lying. It is just a ploy to make sure I keep feeling good about myself to keep feeling frisky.

But I know my mom (when I was a baby) loved my tushy. (But ALL mothers love their baby's tushy....they clean it, powder it....heck, they even kiss it.)

I can tell you that there is no one else on earth that I know at the present time (other than my hubby) (who lies) who would go so far as to say they love my tushy.

So I know........................................... it HAS to be a sign from the Force. I am loved (tushy and all).

Geez, I feel warm all over. (See, it got rid of my blues about the cold and snow).

But I feel sorry for The Force.

Because if I was made "in His image", He's got a lot of bun-master exercises to do.


Sara said...

That is so neat, you must eb really loved:)

Aria said...

Yes, I used to say pick a cheek and start kissing, but make sure you start early, cause it's an all day chore...

And, just so you know, all mothers think on the potty... it is probably (not always, but probably) the one place you can think alone, and contemplate the mysteries of the universe... if you're lucky.

Anonymous said...

You know what I love the most about this post?
Your label that reads "funny blog about toilet paper" because it makes me laugh to think about someone actually googling "funny blog about toilet paper". It could happen. And probably will.
I wish I could find a heart in my toilet paper. Usually, I just find empty rolls I have to change out because I'm the only one capable of doing so.

Mauigirl said...

That must truly be a sign from above. I'm sure it's good luck!

Insanitykim said...


I don't even know what to say.

You are loved, top to bottom?

lizzie said...

LOL! I have come across one of these heart shaped loo rolls before but I must admit that I never thought of blogging it. Funny!

efaqffqaewfm said...

Your blog is always good for a laugh :) This was definitely no exception! I can't say I've ever given the TP roll too much thought before. Now every time I replace the roll, I know I'm gonna look. Not even deliberately... it'll be subconscious but I know I'll do it.

On a completely different note... when I initially read your comment about my blog layout, I was a tad confused, but then it occurred to me that you looked at the current one and not the new one. I adjusted the link, which I realized had sort of blended in with the crud at the bottom of the post. However, if you're willing, this is the link to the layout I'm working on:

The Retired One said...

VaBookworm: I went to look at your new template. I love the paperclips, etc.on the new header. (I don't know why I didn't realize that the green and green on the other one was the old template?) But,when I checked your new template it was all written in a foreign language (German?). I am sure it will be in English once you change over to it?
(Otherwise,I am gonna have to take some classes)haha

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! and Kearsie made me laugh, too!

Rick (Ratty) said...

That was great! I love toilet paper humor.

dreamwalker said...

Love really good TP as well! You can never get enough of that. ;)

Polly said...

I laughed at your heart toilet paper. That was so neat. Last week, we found a potato shaped like a heart when my daughter was peeling them for dinner. She couldn't bear to peel it and it is lying on the counter still.

The Retired One said...

Melissa: Glad you liked it. That Kearsie cracks me up in her blog and with her comments, too.

Ratty: Who knew you liked "toilet paper humor:? I will remember that! (Look out, there more be MORE where that came from!)

Dreamwalker: I didn't say the Toilet Paper was good. In fact...I think it was from a discount store. (You know the gotta wrap your hand in criss-cross fashion like a mummy before you are safe to try it). Lord...sorry...didn't mean to get so graphic! ha

Polly: You KNOW you gotta show us a picture of your heart-shaped potato now (on your blog), don't you? And the rest of you? Do NOT (I REPEAT) do NOT post any of those other body parts know...the cucumbers, etc. that look like (well, you know!)

Lesley said...

What a delightful post! I visit your blog from time and time and always get a chuckle. I would sign up as a follower, but I am a complete dunce and don't really know how to "follow." So I'll just keep visiting from time to time!

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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