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Friday, May 1, 2009

More Dumb State Laws!!

This is part of a series I am doing on dumb state laws. MY THOUGHTS are bolded and in italics.

Next up:

The wonderful state of Alaska!

1. Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. (Well, what I am supposed to do? Make a date and meet them at the mall?)

So, whoever took this picture broke the law, then?
I hope the pilot didn't close his eyes because there was a moose there!

2. While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. (A bear's got rights, you know what I mean? Besides, I think he might be a bit grumpy if I wake him up from hibernation to snap a shot. Come to think of it, it can't be any worse than the two teenage daughters I raised. Piece of cake!)

3. It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (Well, since we aren't allowed to photograph them from a plane, we gotta take them up with us to do the photo shoot. Then what else are we supposed to do with them. The cockpit is getting stinky and crowded, for goodness sake!)

In Anchorage:
4. .No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. (I better go out and untie Fido then. Damn, what else are we going to do for fun this Friday night?) Doggone it. (get it? dog-gone???)

5. It is illegal to string a wire across any road. (The decapitations are starting to stain the highway and the birds think it is too much roadkill to deal with). Shit. Again, there goes my Friday night plans.)

6. Persons may not live in a trailer as it is being hauled across the city. (They thought it was a railroad car, evidently. Now they gotta walk beside their homes on wheels to get to their new neighborhood!)

In Fairbanks:

7. It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (What if they are in a plane? What if you've dropped him from your plane. Shit. He's definitely going to need some alcohol then! That has to be inhumane not to offer him a beer after that!)

In Halnes:
8.Employers of bars may not let their bartenders serve while they are drunk themselves. (Aren't you glad you live in the USA? How else am I going to get free shots from the bartenders we flirt with?)

In Juneau:
9. Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops. (Ok, that is going too far!! But maybe, just maybe, I can bring them to the bar and get those free shots after all. Or, I could bring them up in the plane to get their pictures. At least when I throw them out of the cockpit, they can fly. Not like that poor sucker, the Moose.)


Unknown said...

Man, do the moose in Alaska have rights! Who'd thunk?

Brittany said...

Thank goodness I know these now! Moose are my favorite animal and now I know they have rights. I'll let my hubby knows before he heads to Alaska to work. That way he doesn't look at the Moose on the way up!

Ann said...

I LOVE your comments on the laws. Had a real good laugh. Can you imagine what life was like when they made those laws? They must have been drinking the winter away.

Insanitykim said...

Hmmm first Alabama, then Alaska...if they weren't in alphabetical order I would think there was a conspiracy going on here! ;)

The dog tied to the roof one I get; while I don't actually see dogs tied to roofs there, there are many that have lost their lives b/c they were tied to the bed of a pick up truck and bumped over the edge.

Sorry for the morbidity but funny list nonetheless!!

Roshni said...

great list! I just wonder who thinks these up!

The Retired One said...

Gaston: We have moose in our area. They actually got them from Canada and airlifted them here to the U.P. of Michigan. They have been thriving here. I have only seen one (at a distance). I hope to capture them by camera some day.

Brittany: I love them too. Hope to see one and get a picture of them this summer is a goal of mine.

Grannyann: I wouldn't be able to deal with many many hours of darkness,then many many hours of daylight. I would drink there too!

Insanity Kim: that's have lived in both! Well, I am going alphabetically, so you still have a chance to move to another "A" state. So, what's up with that??? ha

Roshni: They were laws from years ago, when they may have made more sense then! They are funny tho..and many of these are still "on the books" but aren't reinforced.

Rick (Ratty) said...

I can't get the thought out of my head of pushing a moose out of a plane. It's too funny, and it keeps turning over and over in my mind. :D

Kearsie said...

Erm, I am suspecting that since I am from Alaska and now live in Alabama, you are picking on me. How about do Florida next and then I'll really know you're picking on me.

Also, you know what cracks me up? That someone in the past DID give alcohol to a moose, DID try to push one out of the plane, someone DID take a flamingo into their bar. Alaska is indeed, a very strange place.

J.J. in L.A. said...

>5. It is illegal to string a wire across any road.

It's a good thing we didn't live in Alaska, growing up, because my brothers did that ALL the time!

The Retired One said...

Ratty: Thats how the dish "chocolate mouse" came about. ha

Kearsie: I am going alphabetical, but don't worry my pretty, I will get to Florida! So you are saying those things really happen in Alaska? NOW we know why they had to make the laws then!

JJ: What are you? Part of the Manson family?

Fran Hill said...

I don't know. If we couldn't push moose (mooses? moosi? mice?) out of planes to dull the boredom, take our flamingoes to the hair salons with us for a considered opinion, and shoot sleeping bears to clear the streets of comatose large animals, how would we manage? Governments have no feeling at all for what makes up the lives of the average citizen.

efaqffqaewfm said...

I notice the moose gets a lot of attention in alaskan laws... do you suppose they make all those laws (ie the pushing a moose out an airplane one) with the hopes of just preventing it from happening? Or because it has happened, and they don't want it to happen again?

rainfield61 said...

The guy who have drafted the law must be Mr Bean.
Do you know Mr Bean?

Aria said...

The moose(es?) sure have a lot of rights there! Did they earn them naturally, or did they buy rounds at the bar last night? Did the moose(es?) get the flamingo drunk and the flamingo is a bad mean drunk who goes into the barber shop tanked up on Moose Booze and picks at people's heads? I'm sure storytelling is big in Alaska.

The Retired One said...

Fran: True enough. Just look at "organized sports". What is sillier than that?

VaBookworm: Look above at some of the comments from who has lived there.I guess those situations have occurred!

Rainfield: Yes! Mr. Bean is hilarious.

Aria: It sounds pretty exciting in the Great White North. Hey, with all those long days and no sunlight days, I'd be a little stir crazy too!!

Bernie said...

Can't believe people actually get paid to pass these laws but we have some pretty funny ones in Canada as well. I am enjoying your country from my computer, love it and love the people who live there even more. Looking forward to my next history lesson......:-) Hugs

PS: Nothing wrong with your mug shot and your hair looks nice, xo

Anjanette Young said...

Taxpayer dollars are hard at work!!! LOL.. They ruin all the fun.

Lisa said...

There should be enough "dumb state laws" to keep you going for years!

I have something for ya! Come on over and pick it up! =)

The Retired One said...

Bernie: I lived in Canada for a a little tiny town called Armstrong in Ontario. Are you familiar with it?

Momma Young: Yes, you gotta wonder who got paid to think these silly laws up!

Yeah: I have plenty more to go, because I will go alphabetically. So, watch for your state!
I will head over to your blog soon, I am behind in my reading from being out of town and then getting pneumonia!

Loree said...

I was in hysterics. Those laws are too funny. Absolutely amazing.

The Retired One said...

Loree: Thanks. I plan on doing more of these--am going through the states alphabetically!

SquirrelQueen said...

Well right off the bat I have broken law #1, one more than on occasion.

If you have a moose on your plane you are in serious trouble and no amount of pushing in going to get him off if he doesn't want to go. It's more likely you would be trying to jump out to escape the moose. When you see them in the wild Joan, be very careful they can be nasty tempered.

I can believe all of these. #8 Haines is a very strange little town, that law was probably necessary.

The Retired One said...

I see you found the dumb laws for Alaska. :0}

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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