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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Blogger Secret Codes?

When I was still brand-new at this blogging thing, I didn't leave comments.

Now I am a comment-junkie. Can't help it. I am a social creature. And, sometimes reading the comments on people's blogs are funnier than their actual posts for the day.

But, when I was brand-spanking new, when I left my first few comments, this little mysterious box popped up with a weird word in it.
"What the hell is this?" I mused. It LOOKS like a word, but it isn't any word that I know of. What does it mean? Is it "Blogger-eze" for some secret code word where I have to put the meaning in the box to post my comments? Maybe it is a secret club entry word where they say:

"Purple sox" and I am supposed to reply: "The Titanic sunk at 8 p.m.???"

And then, to top it off, WTF is up with the ones that look that someone wrote it on a greasy tablet and then ran their finger through it to make it "wavy". Some are even purposely blurred. So I straighten up my oh-so-hated bifocals and lean into the screen, (swearing the whole time) and say: "Is that an "R" and and "I" smeared together or is that an "N"??? So I type in what I think the smeared word is into the little box and a message comes up IN RED on the bottom saying that I have to type in the mystery word or my comment cannot be published.

For God's sake, people....if I could READ the mystery word on the bottom, that you shitheads smeared AND blurred, than maybe I COULD get my comment published.

Now I am wiser and more blog-worldly. Just to piss 'em off, I look at the made-up, blurred and smeared "password" and ignore it completely and just type in a made-up word of my own. I do this three or four hundred times and then finally behave and type the correct one in.
Why? (you ask)

Because I am hoping that I use-up all their ridiculous made-up words so they run out and they can then just put something sensible in the box to type:( like "comment" or something?).

Here is a list of the (honest-to-God!) actual made-up words I have had to type (just yesterday!) to be able to post my comments:
yodess, ophyn, parstend, exxpat, colderse, dabilit, vultess, lesil, maxegu, uncesse, and last, (but not least).....distris.

Maybe it is a secret language?
What (the hell) do these words mean?
This is what I think they mean:

1. yodess=something from Star Wars? Maybe Yoda's mistress?
2. ophyn=a new street drug? Who needs opium when you can try ophyn?
3. parstend=This is obviously a parsley you use to bartend, silly. You stick it in a Bloody Mary.
4. exxpat=well, the double X says it all, doesn't it. Obviously some porno about spanking.
4. colderse=That is when your derse gets cold. Obviously invented by someone who lives way up north.
5.dablit= This has a double meaning. It is short for college students when they hate taking literature classes (you know: damn lit!) It's second meaning is when Porky Pig is frustrated. He says it all the time: "Dablit, you silly Wabbit!"
6. vultess=This is a female vulture. (Much more agressive than a female Cougar in dingy bars).
7.lesil=This is the first name that the marketer's had for the product Lestoil. But then they thought it would backfire it they compared it to Lysol.
8. maxegu= this is when Mr. Magoo spends to much on his credit cards.
9. uncesse= this is when things just are absolutely unneccesary. (Or is the synonym for nonsense).
10. distris=that is when some high school drop out tries to spell distress. It's other meaning is when the husband disses his mistress. (Then the vultess will call the wife. Not a good move).

I think I will just quit retirement and apply for Blogspot's secret code comment position. I could make up a LOT more creative ones.
And I promise you, they WON'T be smeared or blurred.
And for my age group, they will be in about 20 font size.


Aria said...

Bloggess had one that she posted about the other day... cause she got it after one of her very, very twisted posts (almost all of them ~ she's been adopted by my sis & I) I can't remember it exactly, but I do remember if you said it out load, it said words that would have made'ja blush...

Personally, I think these smoshed words come from college kids' misspellings ( ya know they can't spell worth a damn with out the spell check! ~ me neither, but I'm just sayin'!)

Anonymous said...

I think those secret codes are uncesse. They make me say dablit a whole whole lot. By the way, Alabama today is really really colderse. Seriously, my erse is really cold.

I hate those things too. Most times, I fight with them, and they reject my oh so witty comments and after awhile I'm like, dude, I have SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THINGS TO DO, so I give up and the world is one witty commentless. It's tragic.

Sara said...

That is so funny, I think you would be good at that position. You are so right some of those codes are so weird. I never get the code right the first time:)
Have a great day

Insanitykim said...

Well I like YOUR idea of secret codes better, as I thought:

-a word in clear normal font: The blogger likes me and is just adding a small precaution

-the word letters are slightly askew: The blogger STILL likes me, but has trust issues

-there are now TWO words and they are slightly smudged: This person has been spammed, or they think my comments are dumb. Maybe they don't like me?

-there are TWO words, the letters are all jumbled together: it appears the blogger does not care what I have to say...

-TWO words, NUMBERS, smudges: I am obviously funnier than the other blogger, and they don't want me showing them up with my incredibly witty comments...

-ARE THESE WORDS? Why is there a line going through it? Is than an "e" or a "5"?: This blogger REALLY hates me, or is paranoid, and needs some I am too tired and frustrated to care.

I always turn it around to be about me...sigh...

lizzie said...

I agree, I have difficulty reading these things and it winds me up.

Anonymous said...

Those codes drive me nuts, too! The other day (it was a "smeary one") it took me five times!! Five!

Brittany said...

LMAO You are seriously one of the funniest people! Ever!

Brittany said...

Oh by the way my word to decode...xerworke...I could go on like this forever giving you my codes I am having to type in. It could become a vicious circle.

The Retired One said...

Aria: I haven't been to Blogess's site yet, so now you've got me curious! I will have to stop by.

kearsie: Too funny! Do NOT,(I repeat:)do NOT give up and not put your funny comments. It WOULD be tragic.

Sara: Maybe we should start a blogger petition or something? Revolt! Revolt!

Insanity Kim: Wow. A blog within a blog! I like your take that maybe it is because they want it to be blog-comment-worthy. (You know,like Elaine in Seinfeld....the guy had to be hot enough to be sponge-worthy!) That could have been my problem :-)

Lizzie: Winds you up? Well,let's hear it girl!
Maybe you could start the revolution!

Melissa: And you are half my age, girlfriend! Wait,just wait until your bifocal days. Let's hope by then, they come up with a better way. Maybe by then you can put your eyeball on the screen and they can scan it and make sure you really HAVE a comment. Oh, oh, I would be in trouble because they'd see all that empty warehouse space up there.....

Brittany: Love ya! Wanna be my agent? Yes, you (and everyone) are free to send me your list of passwords you gotta type and I can do a weekly dictionary of what they mean....That would work for me!!! I will put that one on next week's list.
You are DEFINITELY agent material!!!!

Going Like Sixty said...

Beware the Bloggess: habit forming.

They are called CAPTCHAs Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.

I hate them too... that's a big reason why I'm on WordPress for a blog platform.

However, there is some good... some CAPTCHA's are actually helping transcribe the great literature of the world.

Lesley said...

Oh my gosh, how funny! And how true!! What the heck are these words, and why oh why do we have to try to decipher them?

Love your blog.

pehpot said...

aww! you beat me o it! I was listing some "blogger secret codes" last night and suppose to post it today with the same intention as you are.. ha ha.. that's what we get from commenting that much.. the best word I got was flat lie.. ha ha..

The Retired One said...

Going Like Sixty: Thanks for the lesson. For me? They are now just a source for comedy. (And frustration!)

Lesley: Thanks Lesley. Hop back on the main page and hit "follow this blog" and become a regular follower. Would love for you to join the group reading the blog regularly!

Pehpot: Sorry about that. You snooze, you lose. haha Go ahead and post some more on the subject if you want, no problem! I probably will start a regular posting about the ridiculous words though. it will be fun to see what words are popping up out there for everybody!

Rick (Ratty) said...

Some of those fake words seem to oddly match up with the topic of the blog sometimes. I sometimes wonder if they are random or are generated from the blogs themselves.

Scott said...

Great! But I do think we absolutely need much tighter security in this Blogger world so we are going to start using words with inaccessible characters just to make sure that no unauthorized computers (or people) leave comments. We will start with monosyllabic Russian alphabet and Arabic and then slowly add in Aramaic, mandarin, and Greek. After people start getting these fonts wired we will add petro glyphs and finally street graffiti. But we must be careful with that because some street kids might get wise and get on the computer instead of painting on my back wall.

The Retired One said...

Ratty: Itis kinda eerie how the comment passwords sometimes oddly matches the blog post. I will have to watch that more closely. As long as nome of mine say "loser" I guess I will be fine with that. :-)

Scott: Funny! Some of it is already looking like graffiti....haven't you noticed?

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

Too funsy, you arkle a bodess!

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

O no- to post that I had to admit that I was a rejec. Wonder what I'll be for this one.

The Retired One said...

Sharkbytes: You have a talerenk with words. Love it!!!! That's it, damn it....I will HAVE to make this a weekly post! It's all your fault.

The Queen said...

That is too funny.

pehpot said...

that would be lot of fun.. I will snatch your title for that haha.. I like it.. Bloggers Secret Code.. hey can we have a routine on that? haha

The Retired One said...

The Queen: Thanks! There will be more of them. Every time one pops up, I have to write it down now so I can use it next week! Hey, when life gives you humor opportunities on a silver platter, you gotta run with it!

Pehpot: No, snatching titles. SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!........................

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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