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Saturday, June 13, 2009

More Dumb Laws: Next up: ARKANSAS

Here are some dumb state laws still on the books.

The next state up for discussion?

The great state of Arkansas!!

Here are the laws, and MY COMMENTS (in bold italics):

1. The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. (So what happens if there is a flood? Who broke the law? Nature????)

2. A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. (Wow, I wonder if the beauty salons in that state know this law? They should refuse to fix someone's hair in that hairstyle, then....right? How DARE the school teachers have the nerve to want to BOB their hair!)

3. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (What a prince. Only once a month.)

4. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. (Wooo Boy....I'd say most people in the state would be sodomists, then? And if they put them all in jail? Well, isn't there a lot of REAL sodomy in jail? I can see Bubba now: "No, boy..that is not sodomy. THIS is sodomy!".....)

5. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. (Well. Shit. There goes my plan for my next vacation to Arkansas. Maybe I can get a crocodile instead?)

In Fayetteville:
6. It is illegal to kill “any living creature”. (I like this one. Except for mosquitos.)

In Little Rock:
7. Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law. (Well, a waiter/waitress has to get their sleep!)

8. No one may “suddenly start or stop" their car at a McDonald’s. ( "Big Mac Attacks" then? There must have been a buttload of accidents where someone suddenly wanted a Big Mac. Is Burger King and Wendy's included in this law?)

9. Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. (Did anyone inform the dogs of this? And if they get arrested, do they have the right to remain silent? Do they tell the dogs when Daylight Savings Time comes around?)

10. Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. (How do they define "flirtation"? Can they bark after 6 p.m.? ) (They can't flirt,but they can have sex on the one said they couldn't, right?)

11. It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday. (Oh, NOW I get it...they are afraid the cow will see the men and women flirting? Or the dogs barking? And, that is why you can't get a Big Mac attack. Cripe, might as well be a deaf, non-flirting, non-oral-sexer, non-honking, man-beaten wife and Vegetarian that isn't a bob-wearing teacher that doesn't like to keep alligators in a bathtub or have floods that rise to the height of a bridge to live in Arkansas?)


Francesco said...

Hello Mrs..
Your blog is very interest and I will visit your blog everyday..
Can I trade link with you?
I have computers blog.
Visit back me at
Thank you very much...

Fran Hill said...

I would add wasps, bluebottles and kids who don't give in their homework to number 6.

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i'm not FROM here..i just live here.

The Retired One said...

Francesco: I will stop by your blog sometime this week.

Fran: Yes!...but what is bluebottles?

Mouthy: Funny! I didn't know where you lived!

grannyann said...

Now those are some good laws!!!

Carol said...

As always, I laughed so hard I had to hold things in. You know what I am talking about. I love the alligator one. Bummer ha.

Rick (Ratty) said...

I wonder what the chances are that every one of those laws have been broken in the last year.

The Retired One said...

Grannyann: I don't know about GOOD laws...but they certainly fulfilled their role as comedy for my blog. ha

Carol: Don't hold anything in..heck, that is what Depends are for!

Ratty: Pretty good!!!!

Ziggy Stardust said...

That was so funny, I have tears in my eyes from laughing,thank you. I found you through Lesley at My Turn to Talk. We live in Michigan also, down lower near to Pontiac, 40 miles (nor far enough) from Detroit. You have a beautiful blog, the photos are amazing and I love your sense of humor. Stop by if you can


Bernie said...

I needed a chuckle tonight for sure and I knew where to come to get one....Isn't Bill Clinton from Arkansas....Just saying
....:-) Hugs

The Retired One said...

Chicamom85: Anne: Thanks so much for stopping by and for joining on as a Follower!! You made my day! I will stop by your blog soon!

Bernie: I thought of Bill Clinton too..especially when I read the one about flirting. (Good thing he did most of his flirting in Washington D.C.) HA!

Brittany said...

LOL Someone already mention Bill Clinton..but the first thing with sodomy and oral sex in cahoots with Arkansas that came to my mind was Clinton!!!! LOL I love these dumb laws!

The Retired One said...

Brittany: I am going alphabetically, so watch for the next one. I eventually will make fun of Michigan too (when I get to the "m"'s) ha

Loree said...

These are some of the most interesting laws I have ever seen, or read, rather.

Joy Tilton said...

Uh oh, I have a bob and I live in Arkansas. I better watch my back! Oh..and Bill Clinton, we Arkansans tried to warn you about him! ha ha

The Retired One said...

Loree: I will be doing more from each state (alphabetically) so stay tuned!

Joycee: Be careful Bobbed One! Good old Bill may like Bobbed Ones too.

Roshni said...

hahah! Your summary is just super!!

The Retired One said...

Roshni: Glad you liked it! :-D

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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