More Dumb Laws: Next up: ARKANSAS

Here are some dumb state laws still on the books.

The next state up for discussion?

The great state of Arkansas!!


Here are the laws, and MY COMMENTS (in bold italics):

1. The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. (So what happens if there is a flood? Who broke the law? Nature????)

2. A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. (Wow, I wonder if the beauty salons in that state know this law? They should refuse to fix someone's hair in that hairstyle, then....right? How DARE the school teachers have the nerve to want to BOB their hair!)

3. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (What a prince. Only once a month.)

4. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. (Wooo Boy....I'd say most people in the state would be sodomists, then? And if they put them all in jail? Well, isn't there a lot of REAL sodomy in jail? I can see Bubba now: "No, boy..that is not sodomy. THIS is sodomy!".....)

5. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. (Well. Shit. There goes my plan for my next vacation to Arkansas. Maybe I can get a crocodile instead?)

In Fayetteville:
6. It is illegal to kill “any living creature”. (I like this one. Except for mosquitos.)

In Little Rock:
7. Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law. (Well, a waiter/waitress has to get their sleep!)

8. No one may “suddenly start or stop" their car at a McDonald’s. (So...no "Big Mac Attacks" then? There must have been a buttload of accidents where someone suddenly wanted a Big Mac. Is Burger King and Wendy's included in this law?)

9. Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. (Did anyone inform the dogs of this? And if they get arrested, do they have the right to remain silent? Do they tell the dogs when Daylight Savings Time comes around?)

10. Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. (How do they define "flirtation"? Can they bark after 6 p.m.? ) (They can't flirt,but they can have sex on the streets...no one said they couldn't, right?)

11. It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday. (Oh, NOW I get it...they are afraid the cow will see the men and women flirting? Or the dogs barking? And, that is why you can't get a Big Mac attack. Cripe, might as well be a deaf, non-flirting, non-oral-sexer, non-honking, man-beaten wife and Vegetarian that isn't a bob-wearing teacher that doesn't like to keep alligators in a bathtub or have floods that rise to the height of a bridge to live in Arkansas?)