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Monday, August 31, 2009

More Local Police Reports!!

Yes, indeed.

It's that time again.

Time for a local Police Report for you straight from here. I know you can hardly contain yourselves.

This is a short one. Only one thing circled:

For my fellow Bifocal wearers, I will retype this little jewel for you below:

"7:15 pm: report of stolen vehicle, later found. Owner had forgotten where it was parked."



1. Did they give them the name of the local Alzheimer's Unit?

2. Did they give them a breathalizer test?

3. Did they check to see if it really was this person's car, or did the police just help someone steal a car?

4. Was it ME? (I'll never tell)......

5. Quit laughing. It could have been YOU. Admit it. Who hasn't gone into Walmart and then come out and have NO IDEA where you parked? If you said it hasn't happened to you, you are a liar.

6. Like, dude. How embarrassed would you be? Here is the police. Everybody is watching what the deal is. You are distraught, giving the police the description of your car:

"Oh, Dear. That car is just a few years old. I just don't know WHAT I am going to do!" (wringing hands).

Officer: Its okay, M'am. We will do our best to find it for you and put the person in jail who did this to you.

"And I had my favorite pictures in the car of my kids. Oh Dear!" (starting to cry now)

Officer: Don't cry. We will give you a ride home. Is there anyone we can call for you?

"Oh, my husband is going to be SO upset! He doesn't even like it when the car gets a spot of dirt on it..and now THIS. How will I ever tell him?"

Officer: We can help you with that. We can tell him of all the statistics of car thefts in the area. It happens more often than you know, Ma'm. Could have happened to anyone!

"Wait a minute....ummmmmmmmm"....(look of recognition and then horror) "I THINK...I mean don't quote me on this..but I THINK maybe....just maybe...that's my car right here. Well, what do you think of that??? (looking at shoes and kicking can)...maybe they brought it back? (smiling weakly). I is possible that I might have, well, maybe...just a tinsy bit maybe...have just forgotten that I parked it here???? I mean they all do kinda look alike, don't they? Officer???? Officer???? Now where did they GO?"......

Just remember this lady when you think YOU are having a bad day. Not so bad NOW , is it???


Cathy Clementz said...

NOTHING ever happens in our area..except the man with dementia that I emailed you about!!!

Brian Miller said...

bwahahaha...really i am only laughing to keep from thinking it might have been me...nice one.

Lesley said...

That is totally something I would do! We just got a new (white) car, and I spend 20 minutes in the mall parking lot the other day looking for my old (red) one. Thank God I didn't call the cops. Honest, I didn't.

Eva Gallant said...

That was Way tooo funny!

Sandi McBride said...

OKAY it was ME!!! No really...I once drove to the local post office and it was such a beautiful day that I grabbed my mail and walked directly home. An hour later on noticing that my car was not in the driveway, I promptly called to report it's theft. Luckily this was BEFORE I joined the Sheriff's Staff!

Joycee said...

You are my favorite columnist, I mean blogger!

blushing rose said...

ROFLOL! I get such a 'kick' outta you. Have a lovely week. TTFN ~ Marydon

Ratty said...

I constantly worry about something like this happening to me. The closest I ever came was locking my keys in the car.

Scrappy Doo said...

OMG! I would die from embarassment!

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

Great!!!!!! ♥ At last! It wasn't I!

The Retired One said...

Cathy: Yeah. We are just lucky like that. ha

Brian: Just wait until you get older. The chances will increase for you. ha

Lesley: I have done that too! And also, I have pulled up to the wrong side of the gas pumps, thinking it was the other car and sheepishly had to get back in the car and move it over.Lord!

Eva: The poor lady. It could have happened to me. ha

Sandi: Did they laugh at you when you explained what happened? It must happen more often than we think!

Joycee: You are a DOLL!

Blushing: Thanks! I am still behind in reading other's blogs and I have company coming tomorrow for two days. Will take me a few days to get back into routine of blogging more often and commenting more often on others sites...but you gotta have a life outside of blogging, right?

Ratty: I am so paranoid of locking my keys in for our one car because we only have one set of electronic keys and to get another set costs over $300 dollars. I constantly ask my husband "do you have the keys?" when we are ready to get out and lock it.

Scrappy: Me too, now that I have read this, if my car was really stolen, I would hesitate to call them, just in case it was me who forgot where I put it. :-}

Boomer: who knows? Maybe next week?
(hope not!):-}

Bernie said...

Only this morning I had to look for my car at Wal Mart...I was in the wrong row so I can totally relate to this cops involved though...still chuckling over your comments. Have a great day my friend......:-) Hugs

SquirrelQueen said...

When I lived in Anchorage I worked and a sales rep and flew all around the state renting cars in each city. I would drive to the stores, work for awhile and most times no problems. But sometimes my schedule would be so hectic I would come out of a store and could not remember what I was driving much less where it was parked. Thanks heavens for those little panic buttons on the key ring.


Sue said...

You seem to know how the dialog would go a LITTLE TOO WELL.......

Loree said...

A friend of mine had that happen to him once over the weekend and I about died laughing when he told me.

ashley folkema said...

Love this!

Your blog is truly a joy to read!

DJan said...

Yup, it happened to me, too. I was in evening college and working for a living. Couldn't find my car or car keys and was sure it had been stolen. It took me three days and it was reported missing, and suddenly I found the keys and remembered where I had left it... fortunately I was not turned in for driving a stolen car as I drove to the police station with a red face!!

Alan Burnett said...

I love reading these police reports you post. Whichever side of the Atlantic you are on things are just as crazy. I constantly forget where I have parked my car.

The Retired One said...

Bernie: I know it could happen to me easily. I try and make a conscious effort to know where I park it.

SquirrelQueen: I have done that when I am out of town too...I forget what the car looks like!

Sue: Nope, it wasn't be...but it could have been. ha

Loree: Be careful laughing at him, it could happen to you!

Ashley: Thanks! I love looking at your photography, too!

DJan: You are too funny.

Alan: I am glad you like them...I have a lot saved from the last few years, so there will be more posted. Stay tuned!

Judy said...

I hate to admit this but one time years ago I called my husband from the Walmart parking lot and told him someone had stolen my car. I forgot that I parked and walked from one end of the shopping center to the other. He got in his car and came to the center. By the time he got there I had realized what I had done and found the car.
How embarrassing but at least I did not call the police.

Jientje said...

ROFL!!! LOved this!!

And yes. It has happened to me too. Not the conversation with the police officers, and I did not report it stolen but I could not remember where I parked it either!

The Retired One said...

Judy: I bet he still teases you about it? Once my husband got to work and locked the doors with the car running and the keys inside. I haven't let him forget it and it has been over 30 years ago. ha

Jientje: I know! We get so distracted with everyday life, that we don't pay attention. I wonder if cowboys ever lost their horses that way? HA.

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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