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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Local Police Report Time Again...

Yes, I am overdue in giving you my regular post of local news reports. I have quite the collection of them all the way from last year, since I started reading them and finding them so funny. This one is over a year old already. How time flies when we are having fun.

Once again, MY COMMENTS are in bold italics below:

1. Drunken men throwing apples:
Well, this would not be a problem if the goal is to make applesauce. And, it is cheaper than paint shooting at others. If you get hit, you just eat the applesauce and juice from your wounds.
How did they know they were drunk? Maybe it was an anger management therapy group? Maybe it was an innovative baseball training practice?

2. Possible dog bite:
Now this one intrigues me. How would they NOT know what animal bit them? Maybe it was a drunken apple thrower that got bit and he just can't recall what bit him?

3. Juveniles spraying water at an outbuilding:
That may not be a bad thing. If the outbuilding was an outhouse, it would actually be a community service, now wouldn't it? Or, if the building needed painting, they may have been pressure washing the building.

4. Kids diving off crane:
Now THIS would concern me if they didn't have bungee cords. Come to think of it, if they didn't have bungee cords, they could only do it ONCE, right? If they DID have bungee cords, it was pretty inventive and cheap entertainment. At least the little buggers weren't spraying outbuildings or throwing apples, right?

That's the local police report for this week! Evidently, it was another slow news day in the U.P. for crime (Thank goodness) and a good day for a chuckle...


Fran Hill said...

It's the dead crow at 11.28 that intrigues me. Is this a serial killing? Have there been other crow-murders? Was it a suicide, and, if so, how did the crow do it - presumably not jumping off a high place? I want to know MORE.

Brian Miller said...

ha. i love it when you do this...

i am probably guilty of a few of these...i really did not try to hit anyone with the apples...and diving off the was just so inviting.


grannyann said...

I am with you on the dog bite. You would think they knew!!!

L. D. Burgus said...

Thank you for your commentary. It is always right on and precise. I knew a few kids that I had in school who would swing from a rope from a very tall tree. They would photograph it on their phones, and because they were being photographed, they would forget to let go and fall into the pond.They would let go too late and land back on the shore,,not in the water. I would have been embarrassed to show anyone how stupid I was and how close they were to killing themselves.

The Retired One said...

Fran: Funny. I can't believe someone called the POLICE over a dead crow. I wonder if they get called every time there is road kill? ha

Brian: So that was YOU! I should have known. Better not let those little boys know how naughty you were when you were younger. :-}

Grannyann: You'd think, right? Wow. The poor police.

L.D.: is like those stupid kids that rob someone and film it and then get caught. Duh...

Brittany said...

LOL I'm still stuck on the dog bite one. Even if they weren't sure it was a dog (possible man biting animal that has been transformed via radioactive goo) but if a dog did bite...wouldn't you know - blood and stuff?! Love these as always!

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

Such a great laugh!!!! Love these! ♥

Bernie said...

And they say newspapers are going out of business, only news on the net to come....wonder why..LOL So much fun reading these, I shake my head and laugh...:-) Hugs

Ratty said...

The drunks throwing apples brought back fond memories of teasing the old drunk guys when I was a kid. There were two and they used to walk home from the bar, barely. One had an imaginary dog. The other just yelled at everybody. All of the kids used to laugh at them and make fun of them. It sounds cruel, but it was funny at the time.

Loree said...

I wonder what was worse, the fact that they were drunk or that they were throwing apples at each other?

Jientje said...

Do they publish that in the paper?

Cathy M said...

I wish we had "crimes" like that here in the east.

The Retired One said...

Brittany: Yes, that one had me scratching my head. Who that has been bit doesn't remember what bit him?

Boomer: Glad you liked them...I have plenty more to share with everyone.

Bernie: I am shaking my head right along side of you. I can't believe what people report to the police!

Ratty: Say it isn't so!? First teasing drunk guys and then geese...I see where it came from now.

Loree: There is a lot of drinking going on out probably the apple throwing was worse. ha

Jientje: That "cut out" picture is because I cut the article straight out of our newspaper...yes, it is published everyday in our local newspaper, entitled just like that. Sometimes days go by and they are normal reports and then several days of ridiculous reports show up. I can't believe the silly stuff that people call into the police, but they do! I feel so sorry for our police in dealing with these ridiculous complaints/complainers!

Cathy M: True enough. These are ridiculous, but at least we have very low crime rates here.

Insanity Kim said...

Watch out for that dog in the vehicle! It might take off and crash into the guy that was sleeping in his vehicle! ACK!

Sara said...

I love the police report!! The possible dog bite one is funny, you think you would know if a dog bit you?

The Retired One said...

Insanity: Yes,things get horribly wild here.:-}

Sara: You'd think, right? Maybe it was a bite and run. hahahaa........

Shelley said...

Maybe the dog just licked the person and they mistook it for a bite! Ha,ha!!

The Retired One said...

Shelley: If they did, I sure they had a few beers in them. ha Maybe their spouse bit them and the dog licked him and they got the two mixed up?

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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