So, grab your cup of coffee, get settled and read my today's news bulletin (that I am sure you can't live without)....
Here is the news article, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics.
Because, you know me.
I gotta make comments.
* Writing in the February 1995 Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, two
Wisconsin researchers concluded that nose-picking does not create
problems for most people, but that for some, the habit "may meet
criteria for a disorder---rhinotillexomania."
itchiness" (versus 2.1% for "enjoyment" and 0.4% for "sexual
stimulation"); 65.1% used the index finger (versus 20.2% little
finger and 16.4% thumb); and "Once removed, the nasal debris was
examined, at least some of the time, by most respondents."
[Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, February 1995]
1. They spent MONEY on doing this study?
2. Who funded the study then? The Kleenex Company? (Let's hope they used kleenex?!)
3. Let's break down the statistics of the study, shall we? (Because at least when I went to school, they taught me critical thinking. They said whenever you see a study's results, you gotta "pick it apart". (I see a theme here).
So first, 2.1% nose picked for "enjoyment"??? Say what? I mean I can give them a list of several other things they can do for enjoyment. Besides, if I was thinking of something to do for enjoyment, I gotta tell you, nose picking would NOT make the top 500 on the enjoyment list. These people obviously need a life.
4. Let's look at the next stat, shall we? 0.4% of the people in the study did it for SEXUAL STIMULATION. I am speechless.
O.k., you know me too well. I am never speechless...
For sexual stimulation???
Wonder how they registered on E-harmony?:
"Foxy looking man looking for similarly foxy lady with long index fingers and a drive to go fishing with me up our noses. Let's get our noses together for a wild romp."????
Wonder if there is a nose picking sex counselor for those couples that have lost their swirl and dip techniques, and now their marriage is in trouble?
Wonder if when they climax it results in a sneeze?
Oh Lord..the possibilities are endless.
5. The next set of statistics focuses in on what fingers are used for nose picking. Do you mean to tell me they had people in a room, behind those creepy two way mirrors and watched the nose pickers and then took notes on their little clipboards?
I would like to see the job description of BOTH the researchers and the nosepickers:
Wanted: Researcher with a strong stomach and warped sense of science to scientifically observe and record 1,000 nose pickers in action for a highly important scientific study funded by the taxpayers of your state university (and the reason for your children's high tuition rates). Must be morbidly curious about gross things. Self nose-pickers with experience preferred, but will consider non-nose pickers with past experience in recording ridiculous research studies.
Wanted: Anyone who nose picks and does not mind being observed for a highly scientific univerisity study. Special rates will be paid for those with a reputation for bragging about their nose picking feats to others prior to the study. Please come to the interview with three references. Relatives, sexual partners, former employers and clergy references will be accepted.
6. Worse YET!: They then observed what the nose pickers DID with the results of their nosepicking??? Two words for that: EEEE-EWWWW.
Loved the criteria: "once removed, the nasal debris was examined at least some of the time, by most of the respondents".
Notice that they call it "nasal debris".
C'mon. If you are brave enough to do a stupid study on it, lets not fart around and call it "nasal debris". Call it like it is! Say snot, goobers or nosefishes. Get real.
How did they measure the "some of the time" criteria? I mean did they TIME how long they looked at it? A sneaky glance doesn't count, a >2 second glance is counted? Did they use stopwatches? If not, how scientific WAS this study, anyway?
7. My final question? What bothers me the most?:
What did the particpants in this study DO with their "nasal debris"????
They never studied or reported this, did they????
To me, if this study HAD to be done, as a citizen using shopping carts, door handles, shopping counters, etc....I am MORE concerned about where they PUT their "nasal debris".
P.S. I apologize to any of you that have read this while eating breakfast, lunch or dinner...