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Monday, October 26, 2009

Useless Facts and Triva: Volume 14

For those of you that don't read my blog regularly, What is the problem? Get with it and join on as a FOLLOWER, for God's sake. What do I have to do? Get on my hands and knees and beg? Sheesh! , I post articles now and then with silly and useless trivia, along with MY equally silly and useless COMMENTS in bold italics.

So, yes....for a rest from photography today, I have a new set of Useless Facts and Trivia for you! You can thank me by sending me your first born child, later.

Here goes:

1. A pregnant goldfish is called a twerp.

Gosh, I have called people Twerp's before. I had no idea.

In fact, there was a TWERP dance at our high school once a year where the girls could ask the boys to attend. Wonder if the school knew it was encouraging impregnating goldfish?

2. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Wow, they must live in the jungles or caves? Or be very, very poor. Think of how different our lives would be without telephones! Maybe better too?

3. Rats and horses can't vomit.

Well, NOW I know who I am taking out to the bars with me next time I go. Come to think of it, neither rats or horses would look very pretty vomiting, now would they? And the horse? He would need an extra deep toilet bowl to ralph in it. Giddy-burp-up!!

4. "The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

You are going to practice it, now, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?? And then you will challenge your friends to say it ten times fast and then you will whip it off your smooth and silver tongue and say, "Why are you having such a hard time with it, it is easy to say!"

5. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

First, does that picture bother you as much as it does ME?

Second, doesn't that thought bother you?

Third, even if you are "living green", don't you want to go out and buy about a ton of rat poison? Heck, TWO tons???

6. A lot of photocopier faults world-wide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
You have done it, haven't you???
C'mon, admit it!!!!
I know I will be armed with some antiseptic spray and some wipes the next time I use the copy machine. You know, just in case...

7. Cat's urine glows under a black light.
I KNOW you are going to save some from your litter box and try testing this one.
Again...keep those wipes handy.
I bet it glows purrrrr-fectly under the black light. (Sorry, I couldn't resist!)

8. The oldest standing building in Australia is Captain James Cook's house, brought over from England brick by brick.
Why did they do this? Weren't there any bricks in Australia so that they could copy his house plans and just build another one?
Put another shrimp on the brick barbie, Jimmie.

9. Paul McCartney's real first name is James - Paul is his middle name. Thus, all the Beatles (including Ringo, whose first name is Richard) were named after kings.
A royal flush! Who knew?
They were like princes to me when I was a teen...who didn't have royal crushes on them ALL???
I wanna hold your crown hand....

10. The hole inside a CD is exactly the same size as an old Dutch 10 cent coin, called the "dubbeltje". (?!) Of course, all the European countries (save a few) have gone Euro now.
Wonder why they made the hole the size of a coin?
The hole serves no purpose, really....does it?
Except to get your thumb stuck in it when you are trying to pry that sucker out of its CD case, (which by the way takes about 80.9 minutes to pry out of its for-the-love-of-God-why-don't-they-use-this-plastic-no-break-crap-to-make-condoms-with covering).


Eva Gallant said...

I especially liked the twerp one.... have used that term often with no idea, either! How about dweeb? Can I subsitute dweeb?

Brian Miller said...

my cat is now officially freaked out that i am following her around with a black light...actually my wife is too...

well i relly dont know how the copier got broke i dont think it would be a good idea to dust it for prints...

DJan said...

Some of these were sort of funny, but your comments were snort-my-coffee funny! You must have spent hours coming up with these comments, so I imagine you sitting in front of your monitor hooting and hollering. Musta been quite the scene.

Thanks for the great laughs. You outdid yourself with these.

Star said...

I liked your comment at the start of this Blog. I don't have many followers, at least I don't have many admitting followers, but I keep on blogging anyway. Not everybody who reads wants to comment, do they? Your Blog post gave me a laugh today.
Blessings, Star

grannyann said...

Well that is an assortment of useless information, thats for sure. Have a great week.

L. D. Burgus said...

I hope the guy sitting on the photocopier, doesn't ever reproduce.

The Retired One said...

Eva: I don't know about dweeb...maybe I can research that for the next trivia blogpost. ha

Brian: Dust it for butt prints. hahahaaa funny!

DJan: Actually, I just write what comes in my head when I read them. Which shows you how sick I am normally. ha

Star: Glad I gave you a chuckle or two today!

Grannyann: Does that mean you liked it? :-}

L.D.: Funny!! Let's hope his children don't have the same butt to copy, that's for sure. ha

The Retired One said...

L.D.; P.S. I heard the guy made an ass of himself. Get it. hahahaaaaaaa

Far Side of Fifty said...

I bought something the other day encased in that darn plastic..yes. I think it would make a great condom took me like 15 minutes to get it all hacked open..then I was exhausted:)

Ratty said...

I remember reading about a person who ended up in the emergency room with serious cuts after sitting on a photocopier and breaking the glass. It was one of the funnier injuries I've ever read about.

And one more thing. Oh why, oh why are you picking on us rats this time??? Poor rats. Poor poor rats. Forced to eat stale cheese that a mouse would reject, and then you threaten us by mentioning cat urine. The worst smell in the world for a rat. :( :( :(
(I know it wasn't that funny, but I thought it might be at least a little entertaining... Maybe not.)

Growing Up A Country Girl said...

These were a good laugh - thanks! The copy machine guy - Ugh.... I know for sure who ever is doing it is taller than me -- I wouldn't be able to get my hiney up there...

Joanna Jenkins said...

Is the twerp fact realllly true??? Seriously?

Bernie said...

OMG your comments just get funnier as you post these useless facts, I'm still laughing. I will think twice before using a photocopier......Luv ya...Hugs

Loree said...

Well I always learn something from your useless facts so perhaps they are not so useless after all. Eek those rats...they need to practice some sort of birth control.

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Hm. Now I know why people call me a twerp.

Shelley said...

That rat statistic really scares me!!

The Retired One said...

Far Side: I know! Those dang CD wrappers are as bad as the prescription drug caps to get off!

Ratty: OOPS! I will try and be more rat politically correct from now on. Maybe I should just say "vermin". ha

Growing Up: Did you read the first sentence of this blogpost? So, then, did you already join on as a Follower? Hope so! Thanks for stopping by and for leaving comments. And, good point about being tall. But some people are probably inventive enough to use their office chair to assist them to climb up on the copier. ha

Joanna: Twerps are cool! Twerps ROCK. :-}j

Bernie: Believe it or not, I have heard of women sticking their boobs in a copier too. But if you read Ratty's comment above, that would be dangerous! Course, how different would it be from getting a Mammogram??? ha

Loree: Rat birth control??? hahahaaaaa I can just picture it! Would their little condoms be called Mousetraps? hahahaaaaa

Lynn: Not to worry. Being a twerp is the new nerd. (Cool, that is)!

Shelley: ME TOO. YUCK. We found a mouse in our house this week. YIKES> I hate any kind of vermin...and our house is new and sealed well. Now you tell me, how the HECK did it get in? I blamed my husband for leaving the door open when he hauls stuff we have a mousetrap set up and I can't WAIT to hear it snap so we know we got 'em, otherwise I won't be able to sleep!

Nezzy said...

Oh, these are too funny. Mascara runny, nose drippin' and gut bustin, on this old Ozarks farm chick. Nope, never photocopied the back porch although hands face etc. are fair game. We are always battling some kind of vermin here on the Ponderosa. 'Seems like I'm always surrouned by twerps! I enjoyed your post and am so glad I popped in.

Ya'll have a wonderfully blessed day!!!

Kearsie said...

I would like to leave a comment but I am still curled up in the fetal position upon seeing that picture of the baby rats.

Brittany said...

The rats one freaks me out!!!! Entirely! Ewww!

Thanks for the condolences by the way! You are awesome! :) Love ya!

Gramma Ann said...

I love all kinds of useless trivia. I will be back later to check out the other useless trivia you posted earlier.

SquirrelQueen said...

My cat is giving me the strangest look, hasn't she ever seen a black light? Just because it's sitting over her litter box shouldn't upset her.

You find some great facts but your comments break me up.

Thanks for the help on the wood duck. We have lots of mallards and various geese but that little fellow was new.

The Retired One said...

Nezzy: So nice of you to stop by...hope you join(ed) on as a Follower, it would be great to hear from you again.

Kearsie: yep. That almost did me in too. Yuck!

Brittany: back atcha, awesome-wise.
The rats info grossed me out too.

Gramma Ann: Thanks for stopping by...hope you can read some of the older posts and that you like them, too. I have a lot of fun doing them.

SquirrelQueen: I loved your duck photos...I took some of some female mallards yesterday..they were down by our dock. I will be posting them probably by next week, so stay tuned! I just love taking photos of ducks.

Aria said...

The rat multiplying thing absolutely explains Boston and NYC. And now that I know about the cat pee black light trick, I'm going to take one with me every time I go house or apartment hunting!

The Retired One said...

Aria: Good idea! Or, when you go to the Humane Society and they say: "Oh this cat is litter box trained" can shine the light in their cage and say "Oh REALLY??". :-}

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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