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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

More Dumb State Laws!....Delaware

For those of you that aren't regular readers, What the heck is WRONG with you? , every once in a while I do a blog post on Dumb State Laws. I have been doing them alphabetically, so am now on the "D's" next up?: The wonderful state of Delaware!!

So, below are the dumb state laws I found in Delaware, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics. Enjoy!:

1. “R” rated movies shall not be shown at drive-in theaters.
Well then. How are we supposed to make out in privacy? There is going to be a LOT more action happening in the regular theater balconies, my friends.
I suppose this was a way to help prevent pregnancies in Delaware at the drive-in theaters. But where there is a will, there is a way. I am sure some of those hot and heavy R movies got people all "in the mood" and they found someplace to love it up close to the exit of the drive-in anyway. I would hate to live next door to the drive-in and have a long driveway or a wooded lot, you know what I mean? Dang that shift is ALWAYS in the way!!

2. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
I guess there aren't a lot of flights leaving Delaware over the Atlantic Ocean then....because most of the airlines now do not supply meals. Or maybe you have to load on with a huge backpack. What is the deal with this law, anyway? Are the flights leaving Delaware that unsafe that they think they are going to crash land in the water and then you have to float and have food and water as you float, hanging on to the wing in the water, or what?

3. In Lewes:
It is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist.
I will never be allowed to visit Lewes. Especially on Thanksgiving.
Woo HOO! Maybe that means elastic waisted pants will be in fashion there. Awww...the comfort!
What do they do..have a cop walking the streets, stopping people and seeing if (s)he can fit two fingers between one's pants and skin? Maybe THAT is where those God-awful hanging pants trend started (where they wear their pants hanging half way down their butts with their underwear showing)?

4. Also in Lewes: Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.
Well, they are NO fun.
I wonder if they have a similar law that says getting divorced on a dare is grounds for staying married?
I wonder if they have a law that says getting pregnant on a dare is grounds for adoption?

5. In Rehoboth:
No person shall change clothes in his or her vehicle.
Again. They are NO fun. Wonder if you can do it if it is on a dare?
What if they are firm fitting in the waist and they are heading to visit over in Lewes in their car...I mean they would have to change so they weren't arrested there, right?
What if they are homeless and living in their car? Do they have to go outside and change outside?

6. One may not whisper in church.
Everybody HOLLER in church then. Speak up really LOUD when you tell Johnny to quit pulling Suzie's hair. And make sure you YELL at Uncle Floyd to stop snoring, so everyone in the congregation can hear you.
Since WHEN is God hard of hearing?

7. No person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk.
Don't PRETEND to sleep on a bench...go for the REAL thing. Snore! Heck, even dare to dream on the bench! Just don't PRETEND to sleep.
Even if your husband is going on and on about how the quarterback should have passed or if your mother-in-law is babbling about what a good son your husband used to be...faking sleep will NOT get you out of it there, because you will be arrested.

8. Changing into or out of a bathing suit in a public restroom is prohibited.
Don't do it! Instead....just step outside in the open and change into your bathing suit!
Or, better yet...just strip out of your clothes on the beach...who needs a bathing suit anyway?

9. Six-year-old girls may not run around without being fully clothed.
Those parkas are going to make those six year olds really hot in July.
By the way, I guess it is okay for the twenty year olds to run around without being fully clothed. But the six year olds? No way!
Such discrimination against six year olds! If you are seven, you must be okay.
Heck, what about the ninety year olds? They may want to reconsider the law and change the age. Because as a citizen of Delaware, I think it would be more of an offense. Don't you?

10. Alcohol may not be served in nightclubs if dancing is occurring on the premises at the same time.
I don't know about you, but I only get the courage to dance if I have had a drink or two there probably isn't a lot of people dancing in Delaware.
What is the use to call them a nightclub if you can't dance at them?
Guess there aren't a lot of wedding receptions booked at nightclubs either. I mean after the champagne toast, how you going to do the Hokey Pokey?

11. In South Bethany:
All persons must carry a bag with them at all times when they walk their dog in case said dog “poops”, or risk a $100 fine.
I kind of agree with this law. But when a dog has to go in the woods, do they have to carry a bag then too? And what about CATS? Isn't this discriminatory against dogs if cats get to go wherever they want without their owners going behind them with bags? And then do they have places to PUT the loaded bags after they are required to collect the ummm....results? Or must the owners carry them home?
I saw a sign at the park that all people with pets must put their animal's waste in a bag or risk a fine...and they were OUT of bags in the stand next to the sign.
Heck, I would be tempted to leave the "results" of the dog next to the sign then, with another sign saying : When you are ready, so are we.


Shelley said...

I think #10 might get me into trouble, cuz I usually need at least 1 drink in me to go salsa dancing w/ the hubby! :-) Ha!!

Bemused26 said...

Hiya. I had heard some funny state laws but these just made my sides split!!! They are so funny! I'm sure we have some silly ones here too though.

Alan Burnett said...

Another great collection of crazy laws which brightened up my day.

Brian Miller said...

because you know what happens when there is drinking and dancing going on at the same time, people want to change into bathing suits in the bathroom and pretend to sleep on the park i love these posts.

Eva Gallant said...

You are really too funny! I love the changing clothes in the car and the bathing suit laws!

The Retired One said...

Shelley: I am with you..especially if one wants to try the salsa!

Bemused: I am doing all the states in alphabetical order, so keep watching!

Alan: Glad you liked them. More to come!

Brian: Don't you be changing clothes in your car, now. People are going to talk!

Eva: Some of them are so weird, aren't they????

DJan said...

They all made me laugh, but #6 was just hilarious. I can see everybody in church yelling at each other because otherwise they would be breaking the law! Good job, great commentary. When are you going to get PAID to do this??

Insanitykim said...

Hahahha #5 is my fave...I think the lawmakers need to read that one especially and really consider how frustrating that dilemma could be!

Joanie M said...

I'm sending this to my daughter. she lives in Wilmington, DE

Bernie said...

OMG your funny, funnier than the these post oh heck I love all your post, luv you...:-)

Loree said...

I am so glad I read these laws this morning. Needed something to brighten up my day and most of them were totally hilarious.

The Retired One said...

DJan: SOME of my readers may want to pay me NOT to do these blogposts. haha

Insanity: Some of these laws are so bizarre, aren't they? That is why they BEG to have someone report and comment on them.

Joanie: Great! She may have some insight as to how they "got on the books" there!

Bernie: My biggest fan! Gosh, what would I do without you reading my blog everyday and making comments that boost my day??? back atcha about the luv!

Loree: That is my brighten anyone's day! So glad it was YOU!

lotusleaf said...

Your comments on the dumb laws brighten my day!

The Retired One said...

Lotusleaf: I am so glad you enjoy them!

SquirrelQueen said...

Another great batch of really dumb state laws. I always look forward to these.


The Retired One said...

SquirrelQueen: thanks for liking them~! I find them pretty funny, too!

Ratty said...

For #6 I kept imagining one of those crazy mothers who scream at their kids in grocery stores doing the same thing in churches. Everybody sitting there quietly, and then she jumps out of her seat and starts screaming at them like a maniac.

Aria said...

I am totally getting married the next time in Lewes. If the next hubby is anything like the first two, I'll have no problem selling the "did it on a dare" angle. ;-)

The Retired One said...

Ratty: We have some of the same screaming mothers here too. Sigh.

Aria: You??? I believe you would do just about anything on a dare. :-}

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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