Like many of you, I have been struck with Winter Cabin Fever.
How do I know?
How will YOU know?
So glad you asked!
1. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you can't remember when your took your last shower (and you really don't care).
2. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you now have named all of the birds visiting your birdfeeder after your dead uncles and aunts.
3. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: your spouse tells you the frequency and consistency of his every bowel movement, and you kind of like that. (And, if he doesn't mention it one day, you start asking him if he has had one today).
4. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you don't get out of your robe and slippers until about 2 p.m. every day (and only then by ceremoniously announcing loudly: "I think I'll get dressed now!")
5. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You physically hurt each other to get to the phone first when it rings.
6. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you accuse your spouse of purposely putting something away where you can never find it, only to realize you have the object in your hands.
7. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you do "the happy dance" because today is the "once a week trip into town for groceries." (Extra special dance if the trip includes a trip to the dentist!)
8. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you think your spouse is Hot when he dons his new pair of girly gloves and (unmatching) purple sock hat to go out and shovel the driveway.
9. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you'd rather buy a new glade candle then take out the stinky garbage in this freeze-your-ass-off cold weather.
10. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: Your UPS man knows you better than your spouse from daily deliveries of all the info-mercial products you've bought on-line. (Anyone need any aqua-globes, pasta cookers or Strap Perfects?) (But,wait....if you order them now, I will include a free gift for 19.95 plus shipping).
11. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You comment on how beautiful the sunrise is and then your realize that you aren't sure if it is the sunrise or the sunset. (Never mind, it isn't really that frickin' nice, after all).
12. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: Your version of playing "chicken" is to be the first one in the morning to look at the outdoor thermometer reading. (Second best game of chicken is to follow that with being the first one in the morning to look at your indoor thermometer reading).
13 . You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You envy the prisoners in Sing-Sing. (At least it is probably warmer where they are and they get to go outside).
14. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You go into your jewelry box, scavenge some old jewelry and re-design them into a medal you pin on your husband for bravery. (For going out every day to the mailbox and to get the daily paper. Because you sure as hell don't have the guts to go outside on a daily basis!)
15. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you have gone on Google and looked up the term: "Waterboarding Torture Techniques for Dummies" right after hearing your local TV station meteorologist give tomorrow's forecast.
How do I know?
How will YOU know?
So glad you asked!
1. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you can't remember when your took your last shower (and you really don't care).
2. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you now have named all of the birds visiting your birdfeeder after your dead uncles and aunts.
3. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: your spouse tells you the frequency and consistency of his every bowel movement, and you kind of like that. (And, if he doesn't mention it one day, you start asking him if he has had one today).
4. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you don't get out of your robe and slippers until about 2 p.m. every day (and only then by ceremoniously announcing loudly: "I think I'll get dressed now!")
5. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You physically hurt each other to get to the phone first when it rings.
6. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you accuse your spouse of purposely putting something away where you can never find it, only to realize you have the object in your hands.
7. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you do "the happy dance" because today is the "once a week trip into town for groceries." (Extra special dance if the trip includes a trip to the dentist!)
8. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you think your spouse is Hot when he dons his new pair of girly gloves and (unmatching) purple sock hat to go out and shovel the driveway.
9. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you'd rather buy a new glade candle then take out the stinky garbage in this freeze-your-ass-off cold weather.
10. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: Your UPS man knows you better than your spouse from daily deliveries of all the info-mercial products you've bought on-line. (Anyone need any aqua-globes, pasta cookers or Strap Perfects?) (But,wait....if you order them now, I will include a free gift for 19.95 plus shipping).
11. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You comment on how beautiful the sunrise is and then your realize that you aren't sure if it is the sunrise or the sunset. (Never mind, it isn't really that frickin' nice, after all).
12. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: Your version of playing "chicken" is to be the first one in the morning to look at the outdoor thermometer reading. (Second best game of chicken is to follow that with being the first one in the morning to look at your indoor thermometer reading).
13 . You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You envy the prisoners in Sing-Sing. (At least it is probably warmer where they are and they get to go outside).
14. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: You go into your jewelry box, scavenge some old jewelry and re-design them into a medal you pin on your husband for bravery. (For going out every day to the mailbox and to get the daily paper. Because you sure as hell don't have the guts to go outside on a daily basis!)
15. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you have gone on Google and looked up the term: "Waterboarding Torture Techniques for Dummies" right after hearing your local TV station meteorologist give tomorrow's forecast.
16. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you have started to coordinate your eye shadow colors to your wool socks' colors.
17. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you have just spent an entire afternoon writing a ranting letter to Stacie and Clinton from the "What Not to Wear" TV show, challenging them to come to where YOU live and to wear high heels and anything resembling fashion, and still survive. By the way, Stacie: when is the last time YOU changed your hairstyle? (That gray streak you added ( like the lady from the Munster's Show) and then re-colored over doesn't count!)
18. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you blog a list of the ways you know you have Winer Cabin Fever......................................
18. You know you have Winter Cabin Fever if: you blog a list of the ways you know you have Winer Cabin Fever......................................
9 comments:
I was just here, and here I am again...see? Manic, Obsessive...another sign of Winter Cabin Fever?
JUST today I got excited about those hangers that save you closet space! OOOH now there is one about reducing door drafts!! Where is the phone? Where is it!??? Oh, it's in my lap...
How bad is it? I spilled tuna fish juice on the cuff of my sleeve yesterday, and I.am.still.wearing.it.
Someone, please, help me...
I'd like to experience winter cabin fever just once - and only once thanks.
I'm sitting in 34C with at least 75 per cent humidity in sunny Northern NSW in Australia. You don't need to wash your socks to get your feet wet!
Cheers
June in Oz
OOOOOOOOOOK,
I don't want to hear about warm people...I am in KENTUCKY where it is supposed to be WARM and I am freezing my BUTT OFF!! I have been using my heating pad so much, I permanently damaged the underlining tissues on my back! I looked it up and yep, this brown, fish-net like pattern covering the side of my back is from the heating pad and it might not go away!! (It looks like I have the continent of Africa on one part; that is the closest to a tattoo I will ever get!)
So, I must endure temps that I did in AK, with NO insulation in the walls. I must be clothed, in my own house, like the Michelin Man, in order to keep my heating bill down to oh, $1000.00/mo and not scar up the rest of my body!!
And we are due for a three-day snow storm! I am in KENTUCKY, people! (anyone listening??)
So no, June, you DON'T want to experience this!!
sigh...
Yes Joan I love this list...please add personal injury due to heating pads, ok?
Quit whining! :-)
It was -13F (yes, that is 13 degrees BELOW zero, people!) when we got up this morning, with the high only expected to be 3F today. At least it is sunny outside!!! I am sitting in the sun in my great room with my warm laptop in my lap...Ahhhh....that feels good! Who needs a heating pad?????
(grin!)
Careful, you can get the same brown, permanent map of Africa on your legs from your laptop too!
OK OK...but if I were still in AK, I could boast surviving the -30 temps for a week straight in Anchorage...
My pipes freeze at only 20 degrees here, doesn't that count for SOME sympathy???
I think that's what it would be like to spend the winter in the cabin we just bought in the Adirondacks!
I have cabin fever here in relatively balmy New Jersey!
This is hilarious! I'm so glad I found your blog. I have also retired about a year ago and I find this gettin' old ain't all it's cracked up to be!!
You know you have winter cabin fever when you write an Ode to your flat iron.
Sigh.
you know you have cabin fever when-- your husband has purchased an indoor/outdoor temperature gauge that projects on the bedroom ceiling (in large,red,glowing numbers)and keeps saying shit like "Ya know its minus ten" and you don't actually put a pillow over his head because its just too cold!!!
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