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Friday, January 30, 2009

First Burger King and Now: Domino's????

I worry sometimes that I won't think of anything new that is amusing to blog about.

Well, not to worry today!

Yesterday, I get our local paper (you know, the one I wrote a few blogs back about), and out falls an ad to the floor.

I lean over to pick it up and this is what I see: big deal. "I love pizza! I'll just tuck these little coupons in my purse." I think to myself.

But, then.......I look CLOSER at the ads. And THIS is what I notice:

WHAT????? (WTF??)

THE BFD pizza deal????

Now, I don't know about you, but BFD (to me) has always meant "big f***ing deal".

So, I did what any self-respecting 56 year old mother would do.

I immediately called up my youngest daughter (who is a million times wiser than me regarding texting abbreviations) and I say: "What does the expression "BFD" mean to you?"

Of course, she immediately thought I was finally taking some oh-so-needed therapy or that it was a trick question.

Therefore, my question was met with a loooooooonnnnnnnng pause by her on the phone.

She finally said (hesitatingly, of course): "Ummm, why do you want to know, Mom?" followed by: "Why.....what do YOU think it means???" (Ahhh, she takes after her mother SO much!)

To what I answer: "Big F***ing Deal!" of course, silly!

She says (relieved): "Well, yeah. Of course that is what it means, Mom!" (with a tone that suggested that I am still using a rotary phone and never cooked with a microwave yet).

To what I say: "Whew. I thought it was only me that didn't understand that there might be a double meaning! Because I just got a Domino's ad in my newspaper that is saying they are going to offer a BFD pizza special!"

She says (laughing now): "yeah..I saw that too. In fact, in Tampa, they had it on their sign post outside their pizza shop. I guess Domino's version means: "big fantastic deal". "What is WRONG with their marketers?"

To which we both say AT THE SAME TIME: (I TOLD YOU she was just like her mother):

"Those idiots!" "What were they thinking?"(WWTT?)

So, like the Burger King Angry Burger, I had to start thinking of what other TOP TEN future Domino's pizza deals that we may see in the future?
How about:

1. The SOB pizza: (sausage, onion, bacon)

2. The ASS pizza: (artichoke, smoked-sausage)

3. The FART pizza: (fried anchovies, ricotta, tomatoes)

4. The PMS pizza: (pepperoni, mozzarella and sausage)

5. The RUFKM (text interpretation: Are You F***ing Kidding me?) pizza: (Ricotta, unfried kielbasa, mushrooms)

6. The LMAO (text interpretation: Laughing My Ass Off) pizza: (lottsa mushrooms and onions)

7. The PMP (text interpretation: Pissed My Pants) pizza: (pepperoni, mushroom and peppers)

8. The KMA (text interpretation: Kiss My Ass) pizza: (kielbasa, mushrooms, artichokes)

9. The ATAB (text interpretation: Ain't That a Bitch?) pizza: (artichokes, tomatoes and basil)

10. The TPS (text interpretation: That's Pretty Stupid) pizza: (tomatoes, pepperoni and sausage)


RUFKM? That would just be a PITA for them. I mean they might just give me the 5FS AFDN. But I will still be LMAO.


Insanity Kim said...


OLLID! (out-loud laugh, I did!)

which is what I say instead of LOL 'cause it's overused, and I don't always think people are LOL when they say they are...but I am paranoid that way.

Seriously you are in your element with this is golden!

VaBookworm said...

Awesome! Haha! I usually just chuck the ads :) We have a PMS Deli down the road from my house. I think it's the initials of the 3 women who own it, but it's themed around the acronym... "Gratitude without the attidude" is their slogan, and they have a gift area stocked with gag gifts based on it.

Ratty said...

I thought the F stood for fake.:)

dreamwalker said...

Alright, I thought I was pretty much in the know when it came to those proved me wrong. BFD! ;)

The Retired One said...

Insanity Kim: Glad you liked it. I confess, I did have to google "text messages" to make sure I had some of the messages right! I wouldn't want to F^.
VaBookworm: I want to get a T-shirt from your local PMS deli, but I am afraid to ask them. :-)
Ratty: Oh, don't act innocent with ME. I KNOW you knew what the F stood for. (Funny, of course!)
Dreamwalker: Go and Google them like I did. I'm too old to keep up with them all. Hey: that makes a new one (IM2O2K^WTA)!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh I have an endless list of things to blog about LOL but I'm a big mouth anyways!

Mauigirl said...

This was great. And I know what you mean about being surprised by what they put out in public these days. I've heard an ad on the radio lately advertising a book called "Your Marketing Sucks." And the guy talks about how people's marketing sucks and that's why they should buy this book, etc. I know the word "suck" in and of itself is not profane but the reference is well known and I was rather surprised about it being on the radio and the title of a book.

I'm 55 myself so maybe this sensitivity comes with age... I remember when Archie Bunker flushing the toilet - off stage - was a BFD on "All in the Family." LOL!

The Retired One said...

Debs: I'll be watching your blogfor your endless list of things to LOL!

Mauigirl: I know what you mean. I used to never use profanity like I do now. It has gone so much more mainstream. But sometimes, you need that special "punch" to really show what you mean, and you just have to use those! I try to say "dang" and "frickin'" instead of the granddaddies, but once in a while, well, you gotta cut loose. Hey, we are over 50, if we can't start now, when CAN we? ha

Melissa said...

Oh my gosh! Every time I stop by, I laugh! You are funny! :-)

Aria said...

I'll have a PMP please the pizza and the text meaning after reading this post!

Brittany said...

You are hilarious! I'll always think of you now when I'm eating my CAP (cheese and pepperoni) pizza!

The Retired One said...

Melissa: Back atcha girl!

Aria: You can have any type of pizza you want from my list, because girlfriend...I have heard you talk about their subjects on your blog GET it. ha

Brittany: I like the CAP pizza. Kinda TOPS off this post. (*groan*)

EVERYONE: I recently got an e-mail that said it was "behalf" of one of you (which I think was spammed? Not sure). Anyway, I blocked (refused) the comment, because it made fun of groups of people on basis of color, regligion and sexual orientation to add to the pizza names. Sorry to whoever wrote it.....I just won't promote that kind of thinking and ill-will. Not even to try and be funny. Because it just isn't funny to make fun of someone other than you because of those reasons.....
You may not have meant it to be mean or mean-spirited, but every time someone makes an ethnic joke about someone else, it only makes them look like less of a person. Pleaasssse do not promote these kinds of jokes.

The Retired One said...

Sorry, I mis-spelled the word "religion" above!

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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