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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

More Local Police Reports!!!

Yes, that's right folks..

Time (again!)
Local Police Reports!

For those of you that are new to my blog (and thank you very much!!),
I occasionally provide
copies of REAL police reports from my local newspaper.
(Because, frankly, people...
you just can't make this stuff UP!)
I add
my own commments in bold italics.
here you are!:


In case you are reading this on your I-phone and the print is awful (which it is because I scanned it), it says:

"9:48am: group of people in lot yelling and chanting,
turned out to be magazine salespeople getting ready
for their daily fireup before hitting the streets" (address).

1. Okay..this flat out made me giggle.

2. Who on earth would call this into the police? What were they afraid of?  Were they traumatized by door-to-door salespersons as a child?  Or maybe they were traumatized by those bible bangers that stop by pushing their "Lampost" magazines?

3. Can you picture this? 

4. It could be worse. You could have a job like those salespeople.

5. Have you ever seen them do this in Walmart?  One day, I was particularly tired and rushed to pick up something around 7am before work in a Walmart. Unknown to me, they gathered behind me and began YELLING their team-whatever-chant.  I dropped what I had in my hands I was so startled.  They just stopped, mid-chant, looked at me and then started up again. LOL

6. Come to think of it, maybe they DID need to be arrested. It's just wrong, people, totally and unequivitably WRONG.

7. I bet they never made ONE SINGLE sale on THAT block.

8. Can you imagine the police talking to them when they arrived after getting the complaint?
Police: "Ummm, who is the leader here in this gathering?"
Salesman Supervior (SS): "I am, Sir!"
Police: "What is it that is happening here? Is this some sort of protest?"
SS: "Oh no, Sir...we are just having our morning meeting to fire up for the day of sales".
Police: "Kind of unusual and suspicious behavior. You know, we have a complaint lodged against you..and possibly warranted. I mean, you all are kind of nerdy. Don't  you have a LIFE? You mean you LIKE this kind of work?"
SS: Yes, Sir..why, I practically LIVE sales. In fact, we sell the "Police Monthly" just take a looky, shall we...see the Police Officer of the Month in the fold out? Yessiree, you are going to want to take advantage of our only!....a one year's subscription for the price of 18 can't say NO to that, now can you?  Or how about "Detectives are Us" look like the kind of person that likes a bargain, no?"
Police: "That's it, fella....Book 'em Dano...The charges  you ask???  Solicitation without common sense and decency, disturbing the peace, not having a life, and being just plain annoying."

8. Yes, I have changed my mind. I would have called the complaint into the police, after all. 
(unless of course, they were selling "Bloggers' Business Weekly".  Hmmmm, wonder what block they are in today??????????????????????????????


faye said...

Wonder how long it took for the police to respond to such a
priority call...

Brian Miller said...

lol. see workplace motivation goes a long way ...and gets you free

The Retired One said...

Faye: Hey, around here, that was probably the most exciting call they got all week. :0}

Brian: Hahaaa, yep, advertising of the third kind.

Unknown said...

Too funny. I've seen the Walmart stuff on tv, but never in person. Could be scary!

Bossy Betty said...

I loved this! I would like them to arrest all magazine vendors--screaming or not.

Anonymous said...

How funny. Thanks I needed the grin.

Jeanette said...

Looks like at 7:38 that night they got called again about one of those pesky magazine sellers!

The Retired One said...

Eva: Yes, it is. ha

Bossy: Now, THAT'S an idea!

Writing: Glad to give you the grins this morning :0}

Jeanette: I saw that..too funny..or they were copycat sellers trying to rip off another neighborhood!

CiCi said...

People are getting more nervous these days at any sort of group gathering aren't they? I think the group you described that frightened you like that was very rude. I am getting so much more assertive these days that if someone yelled behind me and made me drop something I would be obliged to make them pick it up for me.

Loree said...

I've never heard of people starting the day off with a morning chant. I might try it at the office tomorrow. I am sure someone will throw something at my head.

Pat Tillett said...

That was great!
I also like the one at 11:43.
I'm happy to see that there's not too much going on in your area!

The Retired One said...

TechnoBabe: I was too shocked to demand anything, ha. But it sure woke me up that sleepy morning!

Loree: I sure hope they do. ha

Pat: True! ha

Betsy Banks Adams said...

Cute one Joan..... I guess those magazine sales people have to gear themselves up in order to try to sell those magazines... I guess somebody has to do a job like this... Ya think????? Funny that the police were called!!!! That probably got them away from their donuts for awhile... ha ha


Shelley said...

The life of a salesperson is hard and sometimes embarrassing! I won't tell you what I had to do when I was a broker......ugh!!!

Ann said...

I wonder if that raccoon in the cage is mine because we never got him in a cage here.

Alan Burnett said...

Wonderful and unbelievable at the same time. I quite like the idea of a daily fireup - does it still work if you are the only person in the room?

Insanitykim said...

Hahahah! This reminds me of Dwight from Office...we need more Dwights in this world in my opinion! Heck, send them all into dark alleyways to get "fired up" and watch crime rates plummet! Oh yeah baby LET'S DO IT! GO! GO! GO! :)

The Retired One said...

Betsy: haha Betsy! It is a wild ride around here with all that hard crime. ha

Shelley: I am sure it is...I only worked in my Dad's Sears store for a while but I have been on volunteer Boards where we had to sell things and I HATED it. I'd be the one approaching people with the line: "I am so sorry to have to ask you this and you probably don't want to buy this, but I am on a Board and I have to ask" LOL

Ann: If so, he traveled a long ways, hey? ha

Alan: It will if you are in the Nursing fact, when i ran an Assisted Living Facility, I think I saw it once or twice.hahahaa

Insanity: I LOVE The cracks me up...we have all met people like Dwight, haven't we?

SquirrelQueen said...

I might have called the cops on them too. I guess you would have to have something to fire you up if you job was selling magazines.

I wonder if the 2:29am call was someone who missed the meeting that morning or maybe getting an early start for the next day?

The Retired One said...

SquirrelQueen: Yes, I would need more than a "fireup" session to get me to sell magazines. ha

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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