1. A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
There must be a lot of call for razors in Iowa then....because otherwise, there is not much lovin' going on in Iowa. And Santa? He better not be kissing any women either.
2. One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Now this law just made me giggle! How about you? The poor man/woman who only has one arm and plays the piano? That is a miracle in itself....but then..they don't PAY him/her???? Good grief! That is beyond cruel. I bet (s)he could find away to give "the Hollywood Salute" with that one arm if they don't pay!
3. Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
No fun. I guess there is no "making out" going on in Iowa, then? And who gets to time the kissing? And you better NOT have a moustache if you are kissing either!
4. Ministers must obtain a permit to carry their liquor across state lines.
Yes, boozing Ministers SHOULD have to have a permit to do this.....and I want to know HOW they are carrying their liquor across state lines....obviously DRIVING??? They better pray they don't get caught.
5. In Dubuque: Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
And Trigger...don't forget Trigger. Maybe they will need a "Pooper Scooper" in Dubuque for all the horse doo-doo then?
6. In Marshalltown: Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
Yessiree...lots of horses must be in Iowa. And they obviously need to feed them better...poor things are so hungry they need a law so they don't EAT fire hydrants!
7. In Mount Vernon: One must obtain written permission from the City Council before throwing bricks into a highway.
Yes....make SURE you get a City Council permit to be a vandal!
8. In Ottumwa: Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
Again, NO FUN! How's a guy supposed to pick up a woman then? Cripes....he can't have a moustache and kiss a girl in public....he can't make out for more than five minutes...gheesh.
I guess he could go buy some bricks and throw them on the highway (if he gets a city permit).