We should....it has been 38+ years that we have gone places together. And happily. We love to travel together!
We like to eat light on the road.
We coordinate our bladder schedules.
We both like to listen to mellow rock or oldies radio stations while driving.
We both have just about the same heat/cold needs inside the car.
We are okay with the same types of hotels and wake-up schedules.
But it got me to thinking of things that always make me wonder about others on the road.
1. What is UP with the so-many-beanie-babies-in-the-back-window-of-the-car drivers? I have seen about 5 now. Mostly women drivers. Short women drivers. They pass us on the freeway (don't ask me how they can see behind them to do so)...and the back window must have 100+ scrunched up silly Beanie Babies and stuffed animals. Don't you wonder how long it has been since they were washed? My guess is that their families told them they could no longer have those ridiculous midget stuffed animals in the house anymore and so out of desperation, they put them in the back window of their cars. I always thought they were stupid and costly and wondered why someone would collect them. (anyone past 12 that is).
And now to KEEP them after all these years (forcing US to see them too, on the road) is a bit ridiculous. They need to wash them and send them to some third world country for poor kids for Christmas or something...
2. What is UP with the 4 a.m. hotel people? You know the ones! The ones that get up at 3:30 a.m.---take noisy showers, play their TV loud, yell at each other as they get dressed...go out and run their trucks and cars for a half hour beside your room....slam their outside doors about thirty times and then finally get on the road. At 4 A.M.!! Where are they going? And why so early???
Sometimes we check in to our hotel pretty early (6pm)..go out to eat,come back and the hotel parking lot is only 1/2 full....but by 4 a.m. the hotel is full and there must be 20 or so of them who get up at 4 a.m. and leave before we even saw them.
Do they transport illegal aliens or what? Why do they need to travel in complete darkness?
3. What is UP with the high heel wearers on the floor above you? Inevitably, we get a woman who checks in pretty late and walks around, clicking/stomping their high heels until about midnight and then again at 7 a.m.
Are they hookers?
Wonder if they ever heard of taking their shoes off?
Oh, and they always drag their suitcases along the entire length of the floor, too.
At least we HOPE that is what they are dragging across the floor. (Shudder).
4. What is UP with the closed-lane-ahead lane chasers? You know the ones. There are signs for ten miles warning you that the road will narrow down to one lane ahead because of upcoming construction.
So, here they come.
The "special ones"....they don't think it means THEM, silly.
So they pass everyone at 100 mph, only to go wait up ahead where the road narrows into one lane with their blinker on, waiting for someone to let them in.
Because they think they are special.
I say we stand firm, people!!
Do NOT let them in.
They were rude to think that the signs pertained to everyone BUT them.
They did NOT follow the rules. Don't you DARE feel sorry for them and let them in now. You only enable their rudeness~ Stop letting them in!!!
5. What is UP with the mysterious "pods" on the many, many trucks traveling across the nation? The unmarked trucks, with tarps covering large, mis-shaped objects under the tarps?
Don't you ever wonder what is under those tarps?
I only have one thing to say about that: MEN IN BLACK and ALIENS.
That's all I am going to say.
6.Sorry ahead of time for any of my readers who smoke but: What is UP with the smokers who don't get that non-smokers really get sick from the smell?
A note to SMOKERS: First, YUCK.
Second: You are going to have leathery skin when you get older and people are going to want to play drums on your face.
Third: You are going to die of cancer of some sort. And soon.
Fourth: Okay, if you insist on sucking that gaseous stinking stick, please do NOT smoke it next to our open hotel windows. We loveeeeeee the fresh, tropical, humid air slowly moving our curtains and providing us with warm breezes...we do NOT enjoy the tunnel of fumes along with it coming into our room.
Can't you find another spot to slowly commit suicide....like wayyyyy on the far side of the parking lot by those scruffy bushes and where no other living being has to put up with it??? Thank you.
Oh, and P.S.: when they offer you a smoke free hotel room and ask you if you smoke, please do not lie. We come after you and we know you lied and that you have been there. Let the sneezing begin.
6. What is UP with the toilet paper holders in hotel rooms?
I swear, you need a secret code along with the nimble fingers of a concert pianist to be able to remove the empty roll and replace it with the new one.
Plus, good luck with getting loose the super-glued toilet paper first-sheet from the rest of the roll to begin to use it.
BTW. I have exercised my pointing finger so that it has muscles that Arnold S. would envy just so I can do a swoop-and-dig-into-the-roll to break the tissues about an inch deep. It is the only survival tip I can give you, short of using palm leaves when you need something after toileting.
7. What is UP with only giving two bathtowels in a hotel room?
Men aren't going to get this. But women KNOW that you need two towels for yourself and one for your hubby. Because we do that hang-down-your-wet-hair-and-wrap-it-up-in-a-towel-like-a-Sultan thing with ONE of the towels and of course we need the second one for our bodies.
We do NOT want to wrap our wet hair in the same towel that just cleaned our butts.
So, please hotel owners, provide three or four BATH towels in each room? (Those little hand towels don't cut it, they won't wrap around our fat heads!!)