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Thursday, July 30, 2009

More Local Police Reports!!!

Time again for more local police reports, along with MY COMMENTS. I have collected them for a while. As you can see, this one was from 2008!

Let's go through these, shall we?
1. Dead Squirrel? Man, I could call the police every day for this one, only related more to chipmunks, but I just don't have the heart to kill the ones invading my bird feeder by the hour.
Why didn't they just bury it? Why call the police over a DEAD SQUIRREL? These people have WAY too much time on their hands!
2. Dryer lint littering alley: Wow. Again, I wonder if this is the same bored people calling in dead squirrel reports to the police. For God's sake people, GET A LIFE! Besides, they should have gathered it up and stuffed some pillows with it. There, case closed. I wonder how BIG a ball of lint it was, for goodness sake...and if it was really big, what size dryer did it come from? How are they SURE it is dryer lint?
3. Not ONE but TWO reports about a motor bike in the road. At TWO DIFFERENT addresses....I don't get it! Aren't they SUPPOSED to ride on the road? Where else ARE they supposed to ride? I mean, there is no ban on motorbikes riding on the road in our county, so why did these two, separate people call this in? Was the motorbike rider naked? Was he yelling obscenities? Was it an animal driving? What? What was he doing that was illegal? I hope if it was an animal driving it, he at least wore a helmet.
Evidently, it was a slow, boring day in August 2008. Wonder what people would do if someone actually broke the law?...........................................


Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

I love the drier lint complaint! I'd like to lodge a similar complaint against myself, officer.

Brian Miller said...

lol. and you wonder why there have been reports recently of cops telling people not to call 911 again or they will be charged themselves...

The Retired One said...

Lynn: Lets just all hope it was dryer lint and not navel lint.ha

Brian: That would be a good idea around here!

Lesley said...

I love your police reports! I like the Tip of the Day, as well - translation: "if you are pulling out from a parking lot into traffic, that traffic is NOT GOING TO STOP FOR YOU!!" LOL

Scrappy Doo said...

dryer lint and dead rodents. Seriously?? Did the police actually respond?

Ratty said...

I wonder if the police gave the squirrel a ticket. They should have stuffed the dead squirrel with the dryer lint and gave it to some kid to use as a new toy.

SquirrelQueen said...

Well, I would consider a dead squirrel a heinous crime, but then that is just my opinion, LOL.

Drier lint? Did the officer bag the lint as evidence?

I did notice one that says "stray cat". Maybe the drier lint scared him and he was trying to find his way home.

Your police reports are so funny, I'm going to take a closer look at our police log.

Mitr - Friend said...

That's a good one...

And ya, hope u like my blog. Pls vote for me at this link. It requires signing up with your mail id. Hope u'll vote for me. Thanks in advance.. :)

A New England Life said...

You know what? We should all live in a town where one of the biggest offenses is dryer lint. wouldn't that be nice? : )

The Retired One said...

Lesley: Yeah, I cracked up when I read the police "tip". For God's sake, I think MOST people already KNOW that????

Scrappy Do: I believe they respond to every complaint and then write the report. Isn't it sad that the people calling in these type of things waste precious resources (police time)? However, they DO provide continuing humor for my blog.

Ratty: only they would have to give it to a kid that would need therapy in the future. ha (maybe they can give it to the kid of the mom or dad who called it in in the first place) ha

SquirrelQueen: Yes, these reports are funny at least once or twice a month. I read them in our paper everyday for "more material". ha

Mitr: Glad you liked these! I will look at your link later today.

New England: That is true! Our crime rate is pretty low here!

Kearsie said...

You live in such a crime laiden town. I would move immediately. You might consider moving somewhere safe, like Atlanta.

Insanity Kim said...

Hahah man! What a crazy day! Dead squirrels, dryer lint, crazy motorbike riders! I am staying inside the house, locking the door, and calling 911 the second I see anything with fur!

Bernie said...

Oh Joan, now I know just how much I missed your post. This police report is so funny and I agree there are many people who need to get a life.....Its great to be back and reading your post. Missed you my friend.....:-) Hugs

The Retired One said...

Kearsie: Yes, I know! With all that lint around, I don't know how I will sleep tonight! :-)

Insanity: Or. Say, maybe. Lint.

Bernie: Welcome home...I have missed you! Hope your trip was great. I will be waiting to see your photos!

grannyann said...

The Dryer lint one is a "gem"

The Retired One said...

Grannyann: Yes, I thought that was so strange for someone to call in to the POLICE! Good Lord!

Maniacal Mommy said...

I really need to subscribe to my local rag. I wonder if the crime blotter is as good as yours?

The Retired One said...

Maniacal: I wonder if ANYONE's police reports could be as ridiculous as these are!!! ha

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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