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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Holy Crap !!!

This real news story stinks:

Once again, a man was found to have climbed into the waste tank of an outdoor toilet, but according to a March report in the Twin Falls (Idaho) Times-News, the emergency crew seemed to accept his story that it was all a mistake and not a manifestation of perversion.

Rescuers from the town of Filer, Idaho, said the man told them he was just looking for his keys that he had accidentally dropped and had been in the tank for 15 minutes before help arrived.

The man declined to identify himself, and no official report was required, but after the man was hosed off by a fire truck, he "discovered" that his keys had been in his pocket all along, and he drove away. [Times-News, 3-6-09]



**************************************************************************************

MY TOP TEN THOUGHTS:

1. Wait a minute. He drove away? Whew! Remind me not to drive anywhere with him. And, remind me not to buy his used car.

2. He was hosed off by a fire truck? Do you know the pressure of the water that comes off a fire truck? I wonder what state they found him at after they got done. And, is this what they call "waterboarding"?

3. The article begins with: "once again, a man was found to have climbed into a waste tank of an outdoor toilet..." So, is it boring in Idaho? Is this a regular occurrence there?

4. If you were the guy, this would be the ultimate definition of "a dumb shit". He had the keys all along in his pocket?!!!! Bwahaaaaaaaaa.............

5. If he called for help after climbing into the waste tank and being there for 15 minutes and that is how he got rescued...why ON EARTH didn't he just call for help when he thought he lost his keys to begin with (before trying to climb down and get them out) and get help that way in the first place???? Duhhh....

6. If I am ever driving though Idaho and have to use a rest stop portable toilet, remind me NOT to. Who knows who may be lingering there...

7. I wonder if he got bruised from the hard water spraying at him? Did he explain to people after this event that he got the scars (instead) in the war or did he admit how stupid he was?

8. I wonder if he is married, and what the conversation with his wife was like when he got home:

Wife: Hi, honey, how was your day? WHEW..What is that SMELL?
Him: Well, I guess I have had better days...
Wife: I told you not to eat those beans. God, you reek.
Him: No, you don't understand...I....
Wife: Why are your clothes damp? You didn't leave your window open at the car wash AGAIN, did you?
Him: No, I am afraid it is worse...you see I had to go to the bathroom and...
Wife: I TOLD you not to eat those beans. Geez, where is that deodorizer...?
Him: I thought I lost my keys so I kind of had to ...well...kind of climb into the portable toilet tank...
Wife: You did WHAT???
Him: Well, I had to get the keys. I thought I dropped them when I went to the bathroom.
Wife: Was the car locked?
Him.: No
Wife: So, why didn't you use the spare key in the glove compartment?
Him: "...!!! ?????." (Crickets chirping in background)
Wife: Go and hose yourself off with the garden hose out back, will ya? Geesh.
Him: Oh please, not the hose....please, not the hose...
Wife: Oh, and you better talk to Junior when you get done. They found him brushing his teeth in the toilet bowl in the boy's bathroom at school. He said something about not being able to rinse his toothbrush off good enough in the sink.....

9. I wonder what the guy does for a living/career???

10. Oh, God.
I may have dated him once.

24 comments:

Cindy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh my lord, I did not see that coming!! ROFLMAO!

Once again........or does that mean he's done this before? hmmmmm

P.S. I can't post comments while in Firefox, it's a blogger thing, if you change your comment settings to "pop up" it works with Firefox :)

Gaston Studio said...

FOFL, so funny! Your comments are MUCH better than the original story!

Shellmo said...

Disgusting on so many levels! I would've just let the keys go!

P.S. I noticed on your comment set up - I don't have the ability to click "notify me of follow up comments."

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Ewwwww. What is wrong with people?!?!?

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

OHG, this is so sickening and following off the chair funny! I LOVE your #3, lol and still laughing!
I'm connecting with you via Bloggers Connect, check it out.
http://bloggersconnect.blogspot.com/

Insanity Kim said...

HAHHAAH! Loved the wife/husband dialogue!!

I am freaking out that there are people like this, who can get a driver's license, yet do something like this, and then are LET GO, back into society!

If there's a chance he works in food service then I will NEVER eat out whilst in Idaho! I am sure porta-potty slime/disease/stench is permanent!

Marissa said...

Oh Darwin, wherefore art thou?

rainfield61 said...

Errr... and again,
errr...

(I am smelling something from our post).

dreamwalker said...

You may have dated him once??? Oh my...hilarious.

The Retired One said...

Cindy: your comments came thru fine..are you meaning when I leave a comment on your blog?
Glad you joined us here...we have loads of fun!

Gaston: I love to comment on news stories, as you see by my many posts. You should hear me during the national news on TV. Sarcasm is an art I like to practice. ha

Shellmo: I get notified of comments on my dashboard which I check all the time. Is that what you mean or are you talking about on your blog? (You'd think it was Monday, I am not sure!) ha

Mary: I KNOW!! But without THEM, who would we get to make fun of on my blog? ha

Dee-Zigns: I will check it out. I thank you so much for becoming a new Follower. Tell your friends to join my blog...I love having readers as I love to write. What good is writing if you don't have readers, right??? ha

Insanity: Ewww. I didn't think about eating in Idaho and that he might work there. Thanks, thanks aLOT. Now you have me paranoid, too. LOL

Marissa: Well, I did do a blog post about monkeys being smart, but this guy must have missed a link in the chain somewhere?

Rainfield: Sorry. Use the deodorizer, quick!

Dreamwalker: Just kidding. I think.

Grannyann said...

Oh my gosh, I wrinkled my nose the whole way through that post. That is just gross. What is wrong with people anyway?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

uurrrrrggghhh!! I just ate breakfast!
For God's sake, I would have abandoned that car rather than climb thru the sewage system!! I'm not going to Idaho then!!

The Retired One said...

Grannyann: Gross, is right! I don't know why someone would DO that!

Roshni: Sorry to ruin your breakfast. Tomorrow I will post some pretty spring images, so it will go better with your morning breakfast, ok? :-D

J.J. in L.A. said...

This would NOT have happened to a woman. lol!

Maniacal Mommy said...

Now THAT will put you off your feed!

Loree said...

Yuck. I wuld rather buy a new car than go down into a portable toilet. Can you imagine the smell?? Loved your comments. Made me laugh quite a bit.

Fran Hill said...

Have you seen 'Slumdog Millionaire' yet? If you have, you'll know why I'm mentioning it in connection with this story ...

Ratty said...

I read a book when I was a teenager that had a crazy guy that climbed down into one of those holes. When someone would go to use the toilet, he would see them and say, "I'm a sh*t, I'm a sh*t!" I never heard of such a thing before, but now I hear of things like it every once in awhile. I would have loved to be the one controlling the fire hose.

Far Side of Fifty said...

What a crappy story! LOL.. He is probably a Proctologist.. and you think you dated him..bet that was an exciting date. :)

The Retired One said...

J.J.:You are correct on that one!!

Maniacal: Off your feed, and losing your feed. ha

Loree: thanks! It is so ridiculous, how could it not be funny, right??

Fran: I haven't seen it yet, but when I do I will remember what you said and think of you!

Ratty: That was ONE crazy guy! yes, I would have hosed him down REALLY good.

Far Side: hahahaaa A Proctologist. hahahaaaaaa....
I was kidding about dating him once. Whenever I hear of a dufus doing something stupid, it is one of my favorite things to say: "I think I dated him once!". Of course my husband gives me "the look" when I say it. Which makes it even more fun!

Kearsie said...

HAAHAHAAHAHHAHAA

You so funny.

Also, the moral of the story is:
Pee in the woods. Avoid the port-a-potties.

The Retired One said...

Kearsie: Yes, I have a whole different view (so did he!) about portapotties now!

Nona Nita said...

Oh, you dated him too? Seriously, I thank you for the best laugh I've had all week!

The Retired One said...

Nona: Are you new to my blog??? I hope you joined on as a Follower!!! I am glad I gave you a laugh. It is my mission in life to write humor!

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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