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Thursday, May 21, 2009

What a difference a few days makes!

First of all, earlier this week, we had frickin' snow. That's SNOW, people!! Can you frickin' imagine???


And then: yesterday? We had a high of no, I wasn't drunk 89 degrees. It was a high of only again, frickin' 42 degrees with a freeze-your-ass-off wind the day before that. Welcome to my world.

The weather here can change in a frickin' second an hour. But the still-freezing-your-ass-off beauty of the U.P. makes up for the roller coaster weather and unpredicatbility of the weather.

But I stall for drama purposes digress.

The purpose of the this post is to tell a horror story tale about my hubby.

Friday night, I was on the phone with our daughter from Florida. We are shamelessly gossiping chatting and laughing and talking some more. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my hubby being a pain pacing a bit behind me and bothering me checking now and then to see if I am still on the phone.

WTH? I am thinking,....normally he just goes elsewhere and asks me later if there is any news, etc. But no....he keeps peeking in and checking and pacing. This goes on a good twenty minutes.

So I finally say to my daughter that her dad probably needs to use the phone or something because he has been pacing and hovering around. She says goodbye and as soon as I hang up, hubby blasts in and immediately says: "Can you help me?"

I say: "Sure honey, what do you need help with?"

He holds up his hand and Holy Shit! dangling from his right thumb is this:



See the triple hook on the little fish lure's tail? The one with the killer BARB?????

Well, it was inbedded all the way up to the curve of the hook INTO HIS THUMB ..right where the nail meets the thumb.

I jump up and say: "Oh my God, honey, why didn't you interrupt me on the phone when this happened?"

He says: "I didn't want to bother you, but I have been trying to get it out with pliers and it won't budge."

We look at the situation.

It was NOT GOOD.

The hook was so deep into his thumb at the nail edge that I could feel the hook on the bottom of his thumb.

I tell him: "I am sorry hon, but we gotta go either to the ER or to the walkin clinic...they are going to have to numb your thumb and probably cut this baby out." Thinking there was no way in HELL I was going to do it! (To which he guffaws and says, "Let me try one more time!".) (To which I protest as he is tugging and screaming at the pain). Finally, he says OK and we pile into the car to go to the Walkin clinic, which is 25 miles away. I look like shit (messy hair, sweats on, no makeup) and he smells like fish (he had been fishing and caught a fish which is why the hook got imbedded in the first place as he tried to take the fish off the lure).

Now this usually is not a problem, but I used to work at this hospital, so when I go, we usually like to look at least not stinking presentable.

The whole way in he is wiggling the lure, squirming in pain trying to get it out, saying "I am so embarrassed by this!" to which I am (while driving) saying: "Quit moving and tugging on the lure, you are going to imbed the barb even MORE! Does it hurt? Oh God, it looks like it hurts!"

So we get there and go to the Receptionist Desk and she asks (without looking up): "What is the reason for your visit today?"

Hubby and I look at each other, crack up laughing and hubby just holds up his hand, embedded lure dangling from his thumb. After a few seconds (getting no verbal response from us) she looks up and her eyes widen.

"Oh my Gosh!" she says. Followed by: "you are our first this season. Ha Ha Ha." and asks him to sign the forms. (For God's sake, woman, he has a lure dangling from his thumb! How's he gonna sign?)

Anyway with a great deal of hysterical laughter friviolity, they escort us back to see the Dr. to get the lure out.

He scratches his head a bit and tells us he "thinks" What the HELL do you MEAN you THINK?? he can freeze his thumb by giving several shots see husband pale of Lidocaine into the thumb and then trying to pull the lure out. (Rather than having to use a scapel to surgically remove it). "Oh, ha ha..this is really deep, isn't it? ha ha" he sadistically says. "Well let's see what we can do!"

So he washes off his thumb, gives him 5 shots of Lidocaine in various angles into this thumb, asks him if he feels anything still...(to which hubby says (deadpan face): "Well, I sure felt the shots!") . The Doctor says, "OK, let's get this puppy out!". He grabs a tweezer thingy out and clamps it out and with GREAT effort gives a HARD, FAST tug and right when he is saying and grunting: "I dont' think......................................", it gives way and flies 1/16th inch away from the Doctor's ear and out across the room. I know, because I was there and I DUCKED, because it went flying out.

I ask (wide eyed) my hubby: "oh God, did that hurt?" and he is smiling and said: "nope".
The office staff (who are standing in the hall watching) all cheer not to mention giggle when the lure pops out.

Without missing a beat, the Dr. puts antibiotic cream and a bandaide on it (it wasn't even bleeding even though it was so deep!) and says: "Hey, how about that, I was able to save the lure!" and he puts it (GET THIS) in this:



Yep, you are seeing correctly. It is a hopefully not used URINE CUP.

He says: "I'm putting this in a cup so you don't hurt yourself taking it home". To which my husband replies: (again): "Oh God, I am so embarrassed!".

The Doctor laughs and says: "Oh we see three or four idiots patients like you every fishing season."

And we were on our way with antibiotic cream and a Rx for an antibiotic should the thumb show signs of infection.

In the car, on the way home, hubby turns to me and says: "So you aren't going to blog about this ARE you?"

But the BEST part?????

Yesterday, at the scene of the crime, my hubby catches THIS:






A nine pound, 33 inch Pike. (One of the biggest pikes he has ever caught.)
Ah, revenge is SWEET.
What a difference a few days makes.
P.S. He and his thumb are doing just fine, a LOT better than the fish that is going to be in our frying pan tonight!


24 comments:

MommaYoung said...

Oh My goodness... Your poor hubby, I am sorry, but I was really trying not to giggle.

The way you described, I was totally seeing this adventure like a movie in my head.

Of course your going to blog about it.

PS.. Take a pic of your cooked pike! Please.

The Retired One said...

We actually did think it was funny at the same time we were worried that he would have to get it "cut out"! I may take a picture of the fish cooking. Yumm!

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Perfect ending. I was really hacked at the lack of professionalism by the medical staff, until I saw the fish.

That HAD to make it all better.

I hope he used the same lure - I think it was the blood and flesh that attracted that monster!

Shellmo said...

In between my chuckles- I am GLAD your hubby is okay! That must've been painful!! But wow - what a catch to make up for it! I think you better take those lures away from him....ha,ha!!

The Retired One said...

Going Like Sixty: The medical staff were not laughing AT us, they were laughing WITH us...they were only so casual because I know them and worked with them...they were actually very sweet.
He ended up using fresh fish bait instead of the lure, but it probably was the blood and flesh of the fish bait that attracted the Pike.

Shellmo: He said it was surprisingly not painful (once HE stopped trying to get it out and once they got done with the shots) ha Since then, his thumb hardly is tender. (thank goodness!)

Scrappy Doo said...

Oh My that was quite the "fish tale" haha
Have I told you that I love they way you write? I was right there in the clinic with ya while reading the story.
That so sounds like something Critter would do.
Scrappy
PS Glad he is OK

Vagabonde said...

You are very funny - I mean I feel bad for your husband as it must have hurt a lot, but you have a humorous way to talk about it.

rainfield61 said...

I had the similar experience when I was a kid. It was not on the thumb but on the foot. I just stepped onto the bait.

The Retired One said...

Scrappy: Thank you SO much. I LOVE to write, so that is one of the highest complements I could ever get!

Vagabonde: It was funny, and I was so relieved when he said once they got his thumb frozen, it didn't hurt at all. Looking at his thumb now, you would never know it happened!

The Retired One said...

Rainfield: OUCH! I think it would be even worse in the foot!

Insanity Kim said...

I squirmed and freaked through that whole post! My arms were in the air and I had one eye closed!! Did he get a tetanus shot too? Both my thumbs hurt right now. ACK!

But yummmmmm fish...

J.J. in L.A. said...

I'm glad your hubby is okay, but what is it with men? A brother took a spill on a dirtbike (in the middle of the desert). He nearly rips his thumb off but casually shows it to my mom, saying, "I think I hurt myself." Uh? YA THINK?

She immediately grabbed her purse and said, "We're going to Emergency", which was an hour away.

Ratty said...

I was laughing the whole time I was reading this. Between the laughter though, I was thinking, ouch, ouch, YOUCH! Oh, that's gotta hurt! I've had the same pain before, so he has my sympathy. It was funny though.

Pearl said...

Well I guess if you have to do that anywhere, it should be near a retired nurse!

:-)

And the weather?! WHat's that all about?! It got to 93 in Minneapolis the other day!

Pearl

This DVM's Wife's Life said...

What a great story. Especially love the sweet, huge fish he caught. All worth it hey?
Yikes, I bet that hook hurt like heck. So glad all is well now!

Bernie said...

Hey Joan, I'm in....yeaaaaa! How is your husband's thumb, it kind of frightened me as I read it, your description was priceless. Have a wonderful Friday my friend.....:-) Hugs

Loree said...

Ouch, that made me squirm. Hope your hubby's thumb is much better now. I am sure the fish tasted great. Revenge is sweet :)

Cathy Clementz said...

Being a nurse must help you stay a bit calmer than the rest of us would!

Enjoy that fish! OH, is hubby sitting around with his thumb up in the air?? Call him Fonzy for the next couple of days...

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Yowza, I'm a little woozy. That must have hurt like heck. I'm stunned that he was so patient while you were on the phone.

Did you eat the lovely pike?

The Retired One said...

Insanity: He didn't need a tetanus shot because he had gotten one within the last ten years. He said his thumb doesn't feel bad at all now and it you look at it, you'd never know it had a hook imbedded! Aw, the wonders of the human body! See today's post for the yummy fish, I have a photo of it in the fry pan. ha

JJ: Being a nurse, I can relate to how men are. Usually my hubby is the one that now makes ME go into the clinic if I am sick. But if there is blood and guts involved, I am the first to insist we go in!

Ratty: So YOU also got a fish hook in your skin? Now THAT is a blog post you have to do!

Pearl: I hear ya! On Tuesday, we had 42 with a COLD wind, and Wed. we hit a record high here for that date by hitting 87 degrees! On Thursday, it was barely 60 again. Typical U.P. weather, but we roll with it. ha Today is sunny and supposed to be beautiful, so I will be out cutting grass and smiling!

DVM's Wife: all is well now. And the fish? Safely tucked into our bellies. It was yummy!

Bernie: I was so worried and now I am so glad you were able to get my blog without technical difficulties again. Please feel free to let me know if you keep having problems...I will have to see what I can do! Hope you have a nice (PAIN FREE!) Memorial Day weekend!

Loree: Oh yes! His thumb is all better, and the fish is in our bellies. ha

Cathy: He says it doesn't hurt at all, but I would've liked the Fonzy look for a while. haha

Lynn: I know, that was one of the funny parts...he didn't even interrupt us gabbing away. But that is SO like him!

Grannyann said...

Now that is one BIG fish story!!!!!
tell him I am glad his thumb will survive and tell him the hook goes in Fritz the fish not his thumb.

The Retired One said...

Grannyann: Sad, but true! I think he has it straight now that the hook is to go into the fish and not him. ;-D

Far Side of Fifty said...

Great fish hook story..I did feel a bit sorry for him..glad all is well! :)

The Retired One said...

Far Side: I felt very sorry for him..even though we laughed a lot about it happening, I was so worried it would be more painful for him then it was...he is all better now, and the fish was delicious. ha

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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