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Monday, December 28, 2009

Well there's bad news and there's......

More bad news!

So, it went down like this:

1. About three weeks ago, our computer starts getting slower and slower.

2. We buy an external hard drive so I can get my million pictures off the main computer and shift them to the external drive.
Because we are SO smart, like that.

3. I start to transfer photos off the main computer drive onto CD's, because I can't find the way to do this into individual files on the new external drive yet.
However, I did find out how to set the external drive to "sync" once a day, hopefully saving ALL our main computer's memory until I can learn how to do individual files on the external hard drive (because I am a dumb shit on learning new stuff like that and wanted to ask someone who knew more than me, which is basically anyone with a pulse).

4. About a week later, the main computer gets "locked up" whenever we ask it to do anything.
Being the smart ones about technology (NOT)...we look at our Compaq manual and it says if the computer needs cleaning to make it faster (our interpretation, I am sure not what they intended to mean),---no problem,---- just run their "simple" little program.
Which we do.
Which causes us to lose EVERYTHING on our computer's memory.


5. We bring the computer to the tech guru's shop and beg them to see if they can find our previous memory and all of my pictures, providing them with the new external drive that we had just purchased and sync'd once daily prior to our other huge mistake of running the Compaq program.
The Tech Guru smiles and secretly thinks we are pathetic.
Greeting us at the tech guru's shop door is a gigantic dog, 3/4 part wolf (the Tech Guru says), who looks friendly and wags his tail, but scares the beejeezus out of me.
Sure he wags his tail, but I am leery.

6. After sacrificing a virgin, doing several cult ceremonies around a hexagram and boiling up something with gnat's ears and bat wings, we call the techies back to find out the news two days later.
" Good news!", they tell us, they saved all the pictures in our new "F:/" file/ (external) drive!!.
And, he cheerfully adds: "I'll show you how to load your pictures right straight onto that external drive from now on, so that so you don't ever fill up and crash your main computer again."

7. "Yay!" we say. "Oh, thank goodness. Let's go pick it up!", we declare.
We go there.
It is extremely busy.
Mr. Techy tells me 1, 342 instructions on how to load my pictures directly onto the external drive within 30 seconds. I go to ask him to go over it again so I can write it down, and his phone rings, and my husband says, "don't bother him, honey. It looks simple enough!".
We write a hefty check, leave the shop, and all is happy for Christmas.
But before we leave the shop, the Tech Guru calls out to us as we are leaving: "Just call if you have any problems."
"Yay!", I declare, "now I will have a resource for all future problems!".

8. Christmas comes and goes and I have no time to download my treasured pictures yet.

9. The day after Christmas is spent reloading a zillion programs on the aforementioned crashed computer, including e-mail services, which takes approximately 2.3 hours talking to a foreign-accented, hardly understandable (but polite) techy over the phone.
At approximately 10 a.m., I go to unload my precious vacation photos so I can do a knock-your-socks-off blogpost for all of you.
I try the shop Tech Guru's step-by-step instructions, to the best of my recollection.
Yeah, right.
I get no where.
I try in my old programs to load the photos (not on the newly installed external drive).
Still no luck.

10. All morning, I try several different attempts to download my pictures to no avail.
Husband also informs me that our printer will no longer scan, by the way.
I try the next hour or ten trying to get that loaded, to no avail.
I even located the installment disk on both the camera and the printer/scanner and reload them. No luck.

11. I remember I can call the techy guru at the shop for help.
I call and get no answer.
They are closed on Saturday.
I am sad.
They are also closed on Sunday.
I get sadder.

12. I call the tech guru early on Monday morning.
He walks me through several things I already tried over the phone.
I try them again.
No luck.
"Funny!, he says...I am sure it is just a little glitch...if you can bring the printer and your camera and the computer in, I will fix it while you wait if you want!"

13. I hear angels sing and say several halleleuya's.
"Sure!", I say.
We are having a blizzard, but I am from the north...no problem...we will rev up the old four wheel drive and be there in about an hour (which is about how long it took us to drive there in the frickin' snowstorm).
We are again greeted at the door by the pony gigantic puppy, who now smiles at us and happily wags its tail.

14. We leave the computer, the external drive, the printer, the camera and several cords at the tech guru's shop....telling him we will be back in an hour, after we pick up a few groceries.
"Fine", he smiles..."I am sure we will have it up and running in no time!".

15. We practically skip to the car (except for that ice threatening to break my hip) and go off, holding hands, me dreaming of downloading pictures from sunny Florida when I get home later this afternoon.
It is now 1:45 pm.

16. We go shopping, buying a bottle of champagne, just to celebrate our hard fought victory over technology.
We picture ourselves pecking away at the keyboard, sipping our champagne with the fire burning as we snuggle together looking at the loaded pictures come up on the monitor.

17. We arrive back at the tech guru's shop at exactly 2:45 p.m.
The we-are-sure-this-time-that-the-dog-is-100-percent-wolf dog now runs up to us, bringing his squeak toy for us to play with him.
Evidently we have bonded with a wild animal by now.

18 "Oh!", the tech guru exclaims unabashedly.
"We aren't quite ready yet. Evidently the HP installment program for your scanner had a lot of extra stuff on it you really don't need, which used up WAY too much on your computer's main frame, and well, it is taking a dickens of a time to take it back off your computer. We called HP and we are going to their main on-line site to load only what you really need to get your scanner up and running, which is also taking a lot of time to load.
So, it will be a little while longer."

19. We sigh.

20. We sit in their (only) 2 chairs in their waiting room, which has no music, no television, and nothing but gruesome shelving with ugly wooden or sleek chrome keyboards and even uglier new computers. Oh, and a panting wolf-dog, who now likes to poke his nose in our netherlands.
We sit there for another hour and a half!!

21. We call the tech guru out from the back and ask him what is going on.
He says with a smirk smile, "I have never seen anything like this....it is just taking forever to download off and back on!"...do you still want to wait?"
By now the snow has accumulated outside another three inches.
I explain that we live approximately an hour away, and since we have all this time invested in it, we might as well wait another hour.
He says fine.
We look across the street and notice a restaurant.
Since neither of us have pee'd or eaten or drank anything for hours, we make a wise decision to go there.
We tell him, and he agrees.

22. We go to the restaurant, tired and hungry.
We do not order protein...we order coffee and a huge cinnamon roll to split (comfort food, of course!) and chow it down.
We bundle back up like eskimos and make our way against howling winds and snow to the computer shop, arriving covered in wet snow, with flushed faces and twinkling eyes in anticipation of grabbing our goods and making our way back home to sit by the glow of the computer screen full of our wonderful photos.

23. The dog now greets us at the door by a crouch shove and an immediate roll over on his back, offering up his wolf-belly for a good scratch down (since obviously we are now part of his wolf pack, having bonded through our many contacts).
Tech guru is buried back in the shop and doesn't even bother to re-greet us or update us.

24. After about twenty minutes he finally returns to the counter and says: " I don't know folks...we are open until 6pm and it is about 4:45 pm now.. we are close now...we are running the final check and it should be done soon.
My breath catches in my throat, thinking it just might be fixed!

25. We sit in those hard chairs until my ass screams for mercy.
At 6 p.m., I march up to the counter and knock loudly on it until he comes up again, and demand to know WTF is going on.
He says: "I think you better leave it here. It is getting slower and slower.
By the way, did you happen to notice this when you had it back from us?
Anyway, it looks more and more like you may have to purchase a new hard drive from us, folks. Can you call us tomorrow?
And by the way...if you need us to put it in, we gotta order it so it won't be in until Wednesday or so and then we need a day to put it in."
I swear to God, the dog then barks two sharp barks and sits at my feet.

26. So that I:
a. don't cry
or
b. Jump over the counter at the guy to rip his throat out and risk being mauled to death by wolf-dog:
my husband gently pulls my arm away from the counter and blurts out at the guy: "ok we'll call you tomorrow".

27. I remember that I have left my camera with them and ask them weakly (because by now my spirit is completely broken and I have gone from the first stages of grief (denial, followed by anger) straight into the third stage: bargaining (the if-only-I-had stage)).
He says sure and gives it to me.

28. We leave. We climb in the car in complete darkness now (Because it is 6:15pm in the frozen Siberia winter here) and drive home in the blinding snow, and slippery roads, in complete silence.

Oh boy, I can't WAIT until tomorrow.

And I bet the dog will have my slippers waiting for me when we get to the shop.

34 comments:

Insanitykim said...

Ohhh what a technical NIGHTMARE! I sure hope and pray it all gets figured out! Hang in there!

Eva Gallant said...

So sorry you are having so much difficulty! I'm a techno-idiot so I can sympathize. It's terrible to feel so helpless!

Tatyana@MySecretGarden said...

Scary...
Good luck!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Here's your answer in THREE WORDS: Get a Mac!!!!!! They are so simple to use and you never have those kinds of problems....

Sorry--I know you didn't want to hear that tonight. I know how frustrated you are... BUT---how did you post this blog???? Do you have another computer at home???

Hope things work out for you.
Hugs,
Betsy

RNSANE said...

I feel like crying myself after reading all this. My computer crashed a couple of years ago. I hauled it in to Circuit City and their guys said they could salvage the hard drive and put it on a new external hard drive - which, of course, I purchased from them. I went ahead and purchased a new computer as well. Once I got both home, for a brief few minutes, I could see all my info on that new external hard drive before it began to make this wierd clicking noise and all disappeared. I took that external drive back and my original crashed drive and, for whatever reason, all the info was gone. To say I was a b*&@h is an understatement!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Well, if I were you, once I got my stuff fixed (and back) I'd find somewhere else to get it worked on.

Lucky for me, my man is a total computer geek. lol!

Bernie said...

Oh Joan, I felt what you went through today....I could feel your frustration and no wonder. I do hope tomorrow brings better news of your computer and all of your pictures.....take a deep breath and breathe slowly before you go in and greet the dog and the techi tomorrow although I'm not sure how technical he really is. I will wait patiently to see how this saga turns out and I have my fingers and toes crossed for all good things....luv ya....:-) Hugs

Ratty said...

I hope you finally get it back tomorrow. I always feel so bad when I hear of computer problems. I wish you lived closer to me. I might not get it fixed any faster, but I'd do it for you for free.

Jientje said...

Oh GOSH!!!
I think there are lot more FUN things to do than this? I feel for you! Keeping my thumbs up!

wendyytb said...

I'm sorry, and while I realize that you probably do not share the sentiment, but this is the funniest post I have read in a long time...

Somehow I want to give you a hug. Hope things work out.

Sue said...

I feel your pain. Sometimes , at the height of computer problems, I SWEAR I am going to convert to being Amish. Seems to be less stressful.............

Retired-Ed said...

Wow! That is quite a saga, and evidently it still isn't over. I hope that you can report back with a happy ending. I have not yet invested in an on-line backup service, but I think it's time. I hear a lot about Carbonite, but I can't recommend them personally. I'd hate to lose all of my pictures too. Maybe they could give us a group rate. :-)
Ed

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

We love them when they're good and hate them when they're bad, but I love my Mac and the guys who sell them seem to be cuter too!

Brian Miller said...

i really feel bad chuckling...i so hate computer problems. i hope it is all behind you soon!

DJan said...

Now this wasn't very funny, Joan, since I know you are NOT in good hands over there. I just hope you are all right in the snow and blizzard like conditions. I can wait for those pictures, I just want you to be safe, after all is said and done!

Yikes! And watch out for Wolf. :-)

Gaston Studio said...

OMG, I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble loading your new computer and trying to save your photos! Maybe you and hubby should look into a course about computers at your local community college; I've heard some have wonderful programs that'll get one up and running in no time, then you won't ever again have to trust a geek with a wolf-dog!

Kearsie said...

Poor Joan.

I don't touch our computer because, according to my Hubs, I break it everytime I use it.

ashley folkema said...

Oh my! I would have been in tears. What a day you had. :(

Claudia's thoughts said...

As the saying goes, If it weren't for bad luck you wouldn't have any at all.

I decided I personally need a book entitled "How to I fix my computer now that I have just screwed it up"

Lesley said...

Oh you poor thing!! Over the years I have developed a cure for these technological problems, which I encounter at least once a year with my crappy Dell laptop. You'll need a hammer, a wine glass, and a bottle of wine. Let me know if you need further instructions.

Pearl said...

Tomorrow's going to better because you can make some Buffalo Dip. :-)

Here's the recipe I was talking about on my blog:

The Buffalo Chicken Dip:
1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
2 cans (9.75 oz each) canned chicken breast, drained.
1/2 cup Frank's Redhot Sauce
1/2 cup blue cheese salad dressing
1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese

1. Stir cream cheese in deep backing dish until smooth. Stir in remaining ingredients.
2. Bake at 350 F. for 20 minutes until hot and bubbling. Stir. Serve with crackers or vegetables.

Or make the whole thing in a crockpot. :-)

I also know people who use Ranch dressing instead of blue cheese...

L. D. Burgus said...

Hey that all sucks and you deserve a time to scream and yell and throw things. I use to be the techie at school and we had the whole system shutting down. Two days later we discovered, some idiot kid or janitor had plug a live line in from one server jack back into another jack across the room shorting out the server. It was too simple but not easy to fix until we found it.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Oh, ouch. I can sympathize, because my computer died twice this year.... but fortunately I had good and timely assistance. Digital photography is definitely challenging the systems with huge files, etc. Hope you're able to get it straightened out!

Far Side of Fifty said...

When mine crashed..It was only down for about three days..and those were very long three days. Far Guy has a computer too..so i wasn't even without. I was in a foul mood..as I am sure you are too..hopefully you photos will be saved.. and you will eventually be able to unload your photos. Patience!! :)

grannyann said...

I feel for you. I had similar problems until I got my Mac. When you have computer problems it is almost like a death in the family. Is that not sad that we put so much of our lives on a machine, then almost cry when it gets sick. Good luck. I have quite a few of your photos which I use for wallpaper so if you need copies just holler.

A New England Life said...

You sure can tell a story Joan, and tell it well! LOL!

I sure hope they can get your pictures back. I'd be a little nervous at this point.

I'm lovin' that dog!!! You should have taken him hostage until they fixed your computer!

SquirrelQueen said...

Oh Joan, not again. I'm glad you figured out how to sync your external drive, your photos should be safe. On #4, there is cleaning and then there is Cleaning. Clearing the cache and defraging the hard drive should not cause your files to disappear.

As for your printer and camera probably all that needed to happen was to update the drivers for both.

I have my doubts about your computer guru, it shouldn't have been that difficult of a fix. He is right about all the preloaded junk that comes with systems like HP, that's why we build our own. Hope you get it back soon but be careful on those roads.

Judy

Merisi said...

I am so sorry about your misfortunes!
I lost an external hard drive back in September, meaning more than six months' worth of pictures gone. I am still grieving.
May all end well for you!

The Retired One said...

Hi everyone:
Pearl=thanks for the recipe. YUM...gotta try it with Ranch, though..blue cheese smells like baby barf to me. ha

Everyone: The good news finally came..he fixed it and it is back running better than ever w/o needing a new hard drive!
They saved my old photos!
And I am transferring some more all to the new external hard drive for safe keeping.
Dodged this bullet (almost didn't) and life is good again.
WHEW!
Must have been all of your prayers that helped.
Thanks so much for all of your sympathy, empathy, prayers and well wishes to get me through this traumatic experience!

A New England Life said...

I'm so glad your photos were saved Joan! That is wonderful news!!!!!

I started to freak a bit last night. When I inserted my memory card the laptop shut down. Yikes! As soon as I had it back up and running again I instantly started transferring ALL my photos onto the new external hard drive my husband bought me for Christmas. All 27,000 of them!

Sharon

A New England Life said...

Oh yeah, and I'm with Betsy, we both should get Macs. Unfortunately we can't afford one : (

sally said...

Dear R.C,
I have been so there with computer problems. These machines just do not respect their elders-one time my husband and I looked for 90 minutes to find the "internet button" on our laptop because the tutotial said it was not engaged. It turned out to be the little button that had a blue image of a signal tower when lit up-when not lit up-invisable! This conspiracy started when we needed to click on "START" to stop our computers!

The Retired One said...

New England: Wow, you had a BIG job transferring all of your photos, but WELL worth it. I am SO lucky we had just bought the external drive. They were there, I just didn't know how to retrieve them. He set up something inside my main computer now so they will autuomatically sync in addition to me learning how to transfer entire folders from Picasa into the F drive. I may even end up filling the new external drive up and buying another. ha

Sallly: I KNOW...don't you feel stupid when someone points out how easy something is when you have been struggling with it? They did the same thing when they were showing me how to save folders in the new external drive....it looks so easy now, but for some reason, the menu wasn't the same when we installed the F drive. Oh well, when you learn more, you do better.

Susan said...

LOL!!! I'm sorry you had to go through this, but you tell it so well!! :)

Hi, I found you through Wanda's Moments of Mine and I really like your writing and photography! I'll be back!

Susan

http://www.bearswampreflections.blogspot.com

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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