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Friday, August 6, 2010

Ah, yes,...another LOCAL Police Report!

For those of you new to my blog (and thanks for joining us!!)...
Occasionally, I do some attempted humor.

I do some regular themed things on here besides photography.

One of the regulars I do are copies of my

LOCAL POLICE REPORTS

along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics.

So today, that is my treat for you.

Read the circled Local Police Reports BELOW:






In case you can't read them well, here is a repeat of what they say, along with my comments:

1. 11:40 pm: woman crying at Lincoln and Cleveland:
We, in the north, are usually a pretty happy bunch.  So, I guess it makes news when someone is outside crying. We care, PEOPLE, we care!!!  Someone called the police to cheer her up, I guess....hope he came with his police stripper outfit and some music. I know that would cheer ME up...how about YOU?

2.  9:21 am: VOLUNTARILY missing person, later located, reported at the Police Station:
Now this is interesting. Someone VOLUNTERS to go away....(don't all people running away do it voluntarily?) Did they raise their hand at home or work and say: "Pick me, Pick me...I wanna volunteer to run away today!"?  Is this an official game of hide and seek? I am sure the police scratched their heads at the person calling in. I am sure it went something like this:

Person calling: "Hello? Police Station?  I am calling in a missing person report. Well, he really isn't missing...he woke up yesterday and said he was bored and asked if he could volunteer to disappear.  I really didn't want him to go missing, because I wanted him to clean the garage..but he insisted. So, he's missing."
Police: M'am...have you been drinking? 
Person calling: Nope. Just worried because he hasn't come home yet.
Police: Well, is the garage clean yet? Maybe he is waiting for you to pick up those oil spots and Christmas rubbermaid boxes always in the way of his tools? He'll probably return at sunset, or when the garage is done, whatever comes first.
Person calling: I suppose. Next time, I won't tell him ahead of time that I have a project in mind..that way, I won't have to call you.
Police: We'd appreciate that, M'am.
Person calling: So you aren't even going to do a house call to interview me? Because I saw a few of you selling those Policeman Ball tickets and yessiree....I likey what I saw!!!
Police: CLICK.

3. 4:56am: Suspicious situation: person crying, 700 block of Champion.
What did I tell you?  We don't have people crying here that often. When they do, someone calls it in so they can get help. Either that, or we have a LOT of sadness here because this is the second report in the same night.  Hmmm. I wonder if it was when the stock market crashed? That would explain it! Wait a minute! I bet it was that guy that ran away because he didn't want to clean the garage!!!????

8 comments:

Brian Miller said...

haha. the voluntary missing person is hillarious...is it against the law to cry? smiles. happy friday!

Eva Gallant said...

You are too funny! lol

Cathy Clementz said...

I have missed your humor!! The photos are wonderful, but I like your other talents too!!

The Retired One said...

Brian: Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if crying was so unusual that it would be a crime?

Eva: Quite a compliment from the queen of comedy bloggers!

Cathy: I have been so busy, I haven't had time for my series of comedy stuff....but winter will be here before you know it and we will be yucking it up. ha

Ryan said...

Police have to be vigilant in these matters and crackdown heavily on 'people crying'. You may mock these police reports but I for one must commend these brave officers. Imagine if everyone started to cry, then where would that leave us? These cry babies should be locked up for at least one year to ponder what they have done.
Love your humor and great blog.

Ratty said...

I like the Voluntarily missing person one. That headline just screams odd.

The Retired One said...

Ryan: Thanks so much. Welcome aboard! I will stop by your blog today and check it out...hope you joined on as a Follower!

Ratty: Yes, it does! ha

SquirrelQueen said...

Maybe the crying people were crying because they weren't invitied to one of the parties that had the loud music.....or maybe because they were the next door neighbors.

Also remind me if I visit your town to never go to Tourist Park. Seems there are lots of reports from there.

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About Me

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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