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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

More Dumb State Laws: Kansas!

For those of you that have followed my blog in a while (I love you ALL!), you know that every once in a while
I post crazy state laws and then make comments on them in bold italics.

For you NEW Followers (love you too!):
I have been taking one state at a time,
alphabetically
and list actual old laws that were on their state books...
So we are up to the letter: "K" now;
and this time?:

The great state of KANSAS!!
(I lived there once, for a year...right outside of Topeka!)




So, are we all ready?

Here goes:


1. Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
Well, thank goodness!! Besides, I don't see many hanging around the rivers....and their little ears would look mighty funny bobbing along the river after they were shot, now...wouldn't they?  Although you COULD use them to balance your fishing poles on for holders...now THAT'S an idea, folks!  Here comes Peter Cottontail, bobbing down the river trail....

2.  Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
Well, where (oh where?) should we attach them on the boot-tay?  I've heard of "junk in your trunk" but this is ridiculous! And I don't even want to GUESS how the lights are powered......
GAS you say????? 
And how do you indicate a left turn versus a right turn?  A little hip action?  That could be lewd and illegal!

3.  The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
So wait a minute....you can't hunt rabbits from a motorboat and you can't hunt mules to hunt ducks...? Wouldn't you think you'd find more ducks from a motorboat and more rabbits riding a mule???  Can you HEAR the hunt?:  heehaw, quack, heehaw, quack, quack!.....Those Kansas pioneers must have starved with this logic folks!  These laws are ASS-inine.  (Sorry, just couldn't help myself), I'm STUBBORN as a mule. (Oops, did it again!)

4.  If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
Ahhh, ummmm.....DUH! 
So, how are two trains on the same track gonna PASS each other? Leapfrog??
Just what prairie grass were they smoking when they made THIS law?


5.  In Lawrence:  All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.
Wow, must be noisy in Lawrence.  I'd hate to live by the freeway! (Or try and sell a house there).

6. In Lawrence:  No one may wear a bee in their hat.
Well, shoot! I always think they give a fresh spring look to my outfit. The buzzing is a nice touch. Maybe the saying: "There's a bee in her bonnet" originated there???

7.  In Topeka: No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night.
No way! I would have never made it through grade school (or been a secretary there for that matter, I had to sing it to alphabetize the files, I tell 'ya!)  That would be a good excuse not to work the night shift....

8.  In Topeka: Snowball fights are illegal.
Funny I was never arrested when I lived there! I am SURE I had a few there when I lived there...granted, they don't get a LOT of snow....they do get a lot of ice storms...which is maybe why this law was invented? Man, you get whacked with an iceball and you may be dead!

9.  In Topeka:  Dead chickens may not be hauled across Kansas Avenue.
KFC is gonna be realll upset about this if they are located on Kansas Avenue....wonder if you can haul live chickens and then whack 'em after you cross the street?  What about the grocery stores on Kansas Avenue...they can't stock dead chickens?

10.  In Topeka: No one may scream at a haunted house.
Now that is darn right cruel! Set up a haunted house and then tell them they aren't allowed to scream?  They gotta cover their mouths and stifle it? Wow, that's tough!  I mean, what's the point of a haunted house if you can't scare a scream or two out of anybody?

11.  In Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
Must be lots and lots of showers in Topeka....and no bubble baths. No soakers there..they mean business...get in, wash and get the heck out, people..no time in Kansas for a relaxing bath!

12.  In Wichita: One must get a permit from the city if they wish to take dirt from the airport.
I wonder how many people request this permit? Wonder what it costs? Wonder what you have to write on the form to allow you to get airport dirt..."I would like some Wichita airport dirt as a souvenier of a place where I have to wear taillights at night, where I am not allowed to hunt ducks with a mule and not allowed to hunt rabbits with a motorboat and I would have taken the train, but two trains met and they couldn't figure out how to pass on one track so I took a plane instead and the mood just struck me to collect dirt here". Think they'd buy it?

13. In Wichita: Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.
Wow, this may be even noisier than Lawrence and a bit more dangerous...again, wouldn't want to live on that corner!!!  Yeeee-haw!  And, I wouldn't want to have this as the path to work...I don't think the boss would buy that the reason I was late is that there were too many motorists getting out of their cars and shooting their guns so it slowed me down.....

14.  In Wichita: Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined.
Yeah, those bean snappers are DEADLY, folks! You can snap off just about anything with those killers. It is MUCH more safe to shoot your gun at that intersection of Douglas and Broadway!

********************************************************************
So, folks...
that's the law in Kansas....
where both rabbits and mules should be afraid...
very afraid.....
*************************************************************
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21 comments:

DJan said...

Actually, these sound a lot more sane than SOME places you've highlighted. Although I do really wonder about having to wear the tail lights on my butt. Thanks for the morning laughs.

Eva Gallant said...

You gotta' wonder how these originated! What wackiness! lol

Writing Without Periods! said...

I love these. They are so stupid. You wonder who thinks them up.
Mary

Betsy from Tennessee said...

These are always SO funny, Joan... And I love your comments as much or more!!!!! The one about the two trains meeting is hilarious...

Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Betsy

Bossy Betty said...

Headed to KS on July 1. Thank goodness you published this just in time! Thanks!

Bernie said...

Oh my gosh Joan, had to come inside as we are having a rain shower.....so glad I did as this post has me laughing so hard, your comments are even funnier. Thanks for such a pick me up post....Hugs

Brian Miller said...

honk honk...just in case there are horses around....but i sure wish the trains would hurry up and move so i can get to the lake to go hunting rabbits...oh my...lol.

CrazyCris said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! Those are FUNNY!!! thx! :o)

Beth said...

Those are some crazy rules!

Linda Reeder said...

These are wonderfully absurd!

The Retired One said...

DJan: You'd be busy if you wanted to put on your hazard lights, now wouldn't you? hahaaa

Eva: Yes, I would love to know the history on these laws!

Writing: Hey, their stupidity is for our comedy...which works for me. ha

Betsy: Thanks! Just WHAT were they thinking when they wrote THAT one?

Bossy: ha...when you go, take some pictures of you signaling a left turn, would you??

Bernie: You are welcome, honey...glad to make you smile today!

Brian: Honk honk back atcha, friend.

Crazy: So glad you liked them..I do them about once a month, but I hadn't done any in a while.

Beth: Yes, they were!

Linda: A good description...hahaa thanks!

Biana said...

LOL this is hilairous... ha ha ha
you've got great sense of humor :)

Mike Simmons said...

Wow, amazing stuff, Joan! This is the first one of these I've read on your blog. It's hard to believe that people really wrote these laws... wait a minute, no it's not! Thank you! :)

Ann said...

You know I have a best friend that lives in Topeka so I sent your url to her and told her she must read that. She will get a big kick out of it .

Diane AZ said...

Airport dirt? Hilarious!

Ratty said...

This one is extra fun. I keep picturing in my mind two guys on a motor boat looking for rabbits out on the water. Heeere, bunny bunny bunny! Kaboom! Splash!

Vaggelis said...

so so funny!!!

SquirrelQueen said...

Let's see, if I'm walking to the haunted house I have to wear tail lights but I can't scream when I get there. Maybe, I'll drive but it could take a long time because I have to wait for those two trains who just met at the crossing and have to wait to proceed.

Living in Kansas could be confusing!

The Retired One said...

Biana: I think humor is what makes life so fun, don't you?

Mike:thanks! If you go to the bottom of the post, there are three more states highlighted of back posts that I did and if you go way to the very bottom of the blog and see the lijit box, you can put in "funny state laws" and get more to read.

Ann: I hope she enjoys it!

Diane: Can you believe THAT one? Sometimes life is funnier than anything you could make up.

Ratty: hhhaaaaa

Vaggelis: Glad you enjoyed it and that I gave you a laugh or two!

SquirrelQueen: Indeed! (smiles)

Pat Tillett said...

Should have never moved up the ladder from territory to state. See what happens?

hilarious joan!

The Retired One said...

pat: haha...yes, territories may have had a wilder condition that states did.

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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