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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Yuck, Ick and Peeee-you!!!

 Once again, I found a disgusting unique news story to share with you, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics below the news article...so here we go!!!! :




* The entertainment manager at Thorpe Park in Surrey, England,
announced in February a contest seeking foul-smelling urine.  The
park has introduced a live action horror maze based on scenes from
the "Saw" movie series and decided that it was missing a "signature
stench" to "really push the boundaries" of disgustingness.  Manager
Laura Sinclair suggested that submissions' pungency would be
enhanced after consumption of such foods as garlic and asparagus
and offered a prize of the equivalent of about $750 for the winning
urine.  [Daily Mail, 2-25-10]

********************************************************************
1. I know you are leaving your computer on, and hopping into your car to run to the grocery store to buy some garlic and asparagus as you are drinking that gallon of water from your sports bottle. As disgusting as it sounds, you can use the $750.00.  One must be creative in this downed economy to make a little cash...

2.  I can think of a lot better ways to be horrified   entertained.  A "live action horror maze"? No thanks. Listen, I am ancient and wrinkled old . Not real senile old, but F/U old enough that every once in a while the old ticker skips a beat. Nothing earthshaking, but dang...I don't need to shock it with a "live action horror maze." Come to think of it, I already go through a live action horror maze...those three way mirrors in torture chambers changing rooms during the summer whilst trying on swimsuits..(what could be more horrifying than THAT?)

3. And,  come to think of it, I think I may have smelled some pretty horrendous urine odors in some of those one-holers roadside parks when we traveled to/from Florida. Why didn't the entertainment company save money and just go collect it there? 

4.  They are basing their entertainment live action horror maze from scenes from the movie: SAW???? Good God!! Who on EARTH would want to go into that??  Blood squirting everywhere from cut off fingers, legs, arms....oh....I get it...the smell of urine would actually come from patrons peeing and sheeting   their pants from fear....again, why get extra smelling urine to add to it? Overkill people, overkill!!

5. Can you hear it now? 
SCENE: you are picking up your friend to go to the unemployment office in your car:

Friend: "Oh, what a nice outfit you are wearing! Since we got laid off, my wardrobe sucks.....wherever did you get the extra money?"
You: "I got some extra cash from a "side job".
Friend: "That is wonderful, but are you holding out on me?! Are they doing any other hiring? What kind of side job was it?"
You: "Ummm....well...it is kind of hard to explain. It was kind of a delivery job."
Friend: "I think I could handle that...what kind of delivery job?"
You: "Well, it had to do with handling fluids".
Friend: "Easy Peasy....what kind of fluids?"
You: "It's kind of personal...just forget it".
Friend: "Personal?  You aren't hoarding the job all to yourself are you???..because I could really use some cash too...."
You: "No, no, I think it was just a one-time kind of job. I don't think they are hiring me or anyone else right now for any more...ummm.. fluid handling".
Friend: "Whew..what IS that smell???? Man, you gotta clean your car! Smells like both your cat AND your dog and maybe a few goats went to the bathroom in here....and you know what? This is really odd...but I think I smell garlic. And I am really craving asparagus.  How odd!"
*********************************************************************
May the rest of your week be better than 
being that Entertainment Manager
or
the people
who went ahead 
and applied for the cash "opportunity".

18 comments:

Betsy from Tennessee said...

How funny, Joan... I love YOUR comments even more than the story itself. I want to ask people who come up with things like that IF they need to get a life!!!! Geesh--aren't there more interesting things to do in this world?????? ha ha

Hugs,
Betsy

The Retired One said...

Betsy: Sometimes the "true" news is even funnier than you could ever make up, right??? I have always found humor in real things and observations of life.

Wanda said...

You just brought back a Terrible Smell Memory for me, Joan!!!

Years ago, a state park we visited often, had the most horrific ordor in their outhouse type restrooms...to make it worse, a sickening disinfectant odor lingered there too!

Thanks alot Joan!!! :)
Wanda

Brian Miller said...

i know a porta john they need to visit...sometimes people leave me astounded....

Kearsie said...

Just what the heck would they be using that urine for?

I'm equally repulsed/intrigued.

Catherine@AGardenerinProgress said...

I wonder how and why people come up with ideas like that. I'm not a horror movie fan in the first place so I can't imagine wanting to go into that maze and then smell pee on top of it :( Yuck

corfubob said...

Hi TRO, came to you from Carol where I was doing a bit of Samaritan work for my favourite 'lost soul'. OK, I was Christian baiting, but found you, so can't complain. You have nice humour for a wrinkly yank. Love your picture - was it hand-coloured? Only joking, we mustn't quarrel on our fist date. Nice post too, but I have 8 cats and therefore no sense of smell left. Go well, Bob

Bossy Betty said...

Oh! That's what we are missing around here--a "Signature Stench." Oh, no, we DO have that!

I enjoyed your post tremendously!

Cathy Clementz said...

You are such a nut. I bet the trip to and back from Florida had to have been a real hoot for hubby!

Loree said...

That was so funny. And to think that some people actually come up with ideas like this and get paid for it ... the mind boggles.

Sandi McBride said...

I have found that there is nothing stranger in life than what goes on under our own noses! Makes one want to run sceaming to your bed and pull the covers over your head, lol...great post. Couldn't decide whether to cringe or giggle..so did both at the same time.
Sandi

Eva Gallant said...

You're right; that is utterly gross and disgusting!

The Retired One said...

Wanda: oh yes, I have experienced many of those smelly johns in the rural campsites.ha

Brian: ha..yes, I thought the same thing...just find one of those outdoors johns and they'd find all the awful odors they would ever need. ha

Kearsie: I don't want to even imagine. ha

Catherine; Yes, isn't it bizarre???

Corfubob: You are new to my blog!! Welcome...and I see you have a fun sense of humor! Wrinkly yank???? hhaaabwaaahaaaa

Bossy: thanks...I like to write about weird news stories that are real...because when life hands you genuine humor, you gotta share it, right?

Cathy: We always have fun when we travel..I hear that too when you and your hubby go on your adventures...that's what makes it fun, right?

Loree: yes, wouldn't it be fun to be paid for our whacky blog ideas???

Sandi: I know...the old saying that truth is stranger than fiction sure holds true for stuff like this, right?

Eva: Sorry about that....ha

Ratty said...

I've only ever seen pieces of the movie "Saw". I don't want to even watch the whole thing. I don't think it would ever occur to me to think, "Gee, I sure would like to experience that for myself. And throw in the smell of old greasy pee to make it even better!" I honestly hope they make a lot of money. It will renew my faith in humanity.

Pat Tillett said...

Hey Joan,
If you don't mind going by my place. I have a little something for you there. Don't worry, it will be painless!!!
go go go go go go..

The Retired One said...

Ratty: I LOVE your humor! ha

Pat: OK...I'm going...I'm going.......
:0}

SquirrelQueen said...

Ewwwwww!

Maybe it has something to do with the English (no offense to my English friends intended) sense of humor? I like horror movies but Saw was a bit much for me and I surely would not want to do a "horror maze" with stinky urine smells. Ewww!

Speaking of stinky, we had some window open in the house and apparently one of the neighborhood cats just had a tangle with a skunk! What a stinker! Windows are all closed now! Fortunately the wind is blowing the lovely smell away.

The Retired One said...

SquirrelQueen: Maybe. I LOVE the English sense of humor..maybe it is just the English sense of horror I don't like. ha
Oh my that skunk/cat smell must be delish. ha

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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