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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Useless Facts and Trivia: Volume 15

Oh, yes!


It's time again for the next volume of Useless Facts and Trivia, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics.




1. Killer whales are not, technically, whales. They are orcas, a relative of the porpoise and the dolphin.

That's not the part of their name that bothers me....umm..its the KILLER part of their name. I don't care if they are KILLER teddy bears, they must have an anger management problem, right?




2. If you stroke a shark from nose to tail, it is smooth. If you stroke it the other way, it is rough, and on some species, can even give you hand lacerations.

Oh yeah. I am going to swim right out and test that little gem of a theory. Here, sharkey, sharkey. I wanna pet you from tail to nose...because if you don't eat me you will just give me hand lacerations.

Who tried that to let us know anyway? Oh, I know! The guy with that bloody stump of an arm over there.




3. Elephants are the only land mammals that can't jump.

Do we really WANT them to? The china in my cupboards would not appreciate it.

I haven't invited them over for a game of hopscotch lately, have you? And you can't buy tutus that large, anyway.






4. More about elephants: If you add up the circumference of two feet, you get exactly the elephant's height. (?!)

Again, who has the time to check out these things?

I know there are theories about a man's feet and the size of his....(oh, don't act shocked! YOU have heard this, I know!!) but I didn't know they were measuring feet of elephants to know their height. What if the baby elephant is exactly two feet tall. Would that be an oxymoron?



5. Your foot is nearly the same length as your forearm as measured from the inside of the elbow to the wrist.

Okay. Now I am SURE someone with a measuring fetish is around doing all of these weird experiments on animal and human bodies.

And I KNOW you have already gone to get a tape measure to check out if this is true...so, is it? Doesn't it look like your arm would be longer from your elbow to your wrist is longer than your foot?

Why did God do this? One day, was he just at the drawing board and in a funny mood, turned to the angels and say: "Hey, lets have a little fun. It's Friday and I am really waiting for Sunday's day of rest. Just for today, let's change the drawings and measure man's arm from his wrist to his elbow and let's make his feet exactly the same length. Then let's see how long it takes man to realize my clever design!!? Are you with me on this one?? Oh, I just crack myself up!!!"









6. In 10 minutes, a hurricane expends more energy than all of the nuclear weapons in the world combined.

Now, I don't want ANYONE out there to test this one. It is one of those claims that someone can state and no one will ever challenge them on. Let's see if I can do one....Here: if you plucked everyone's nose hairs on the face of the earth and then picked every tulip on the face of the earth, the number would match exactly. Isn't that amazing?






7. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
I wonder if they are writing their own obituaries when they are doing this?
So BIC stands for ballpoints induce choking?
How do they know that EXACTLY 100 people do this every year? When they get to 100 people having done this, do they then decide to send out the warning to everyone else?

Last I knew, my ballpoint tasted awful in my mouth. So, who knew that people liked to ingest or inhale them? Maybe they thought the little tube of ink inside was a straw so they are sucking on it?



8. 90% of all New York cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

No surprise there....the other 10% own 7-11 stores.









9. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

I am so glad I am one of them, isn't that just amazing that I got picked to do this?

Maybe the others are that old, they just don't remember how old they really are?






10. A snail can sleep for three months.
Oh, and any teenager presently living in your house, also. They forgot to mention that.

17 comments:

Brian Miller said...

i wonder how many people in the library were wondering as i put my foot to my forearm...its true.

feeling like a snail today...could sleep a long time!

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

I love your useless trivia!!

PS - And I immediately took my shoe off to check the my elbow to wrist theory (thinking my foot couldn't possibly be that long!!). But they were right!!

Jeff Greenspon said...

I know what you meant, but think about the comment on #8 for a moment. No biggie though. Love your humor. Jeff

Eva Gallant said...

Ilove these! so funny!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh how funny!!!! This is the first of this series of yours that I have read. LOVE IT..... Your comments crack me up...

The one about the immigrants is hilarious... The only word you left out was ILLEGAL.... ha ha ha...

Love this post. Keep these coming. You are just SO funny!!!
Hugs,
Betsy

Sandi McBride said...

My head is chock full of useless information and I like it that way...now I have some more to add, and my brains won't rattle around so much!
Sandi

L. D. Burgus said...

Well you are at it again. The computer sit down comedian is out of control and she just can't stop. LOL

SquirrelQueen said...

I love the useless facts and trivia, it is so much fun. Orcas are so cool, I have seen them swimming in the ocean and they are beautiful creatures.

The foot-forearm thing is strange, just checked it out...weird. A teenager can probably out sleep any snail.

~Cheryl said...

You are indeed the Trivia Queen! Thanks for the smiles!

Bernie said...

OMG, I am still laughing, and everything you say makes sense (that is what is scaring me) LOL
Love these post of yours....:-) Hugs

Joanna Jenkins said...

Elephants can jump????? Wow, I bet it feels like an earthquake when that happens.

xo

Sue said...

Oh all right-YES....I DID put my foot up to my forearm......

The Retired One said...

Brian: you must be a contortionist at the Library....(putting your foot up to your forearm). ha

Sandy: They were right??? Love that you checked! :-)

Jeff: I knew it was politically incorrect, but dang...it seems so true. ha

Eva: Trivia is always weird and funny to me at the same time. Like men. hahhaaaa...

Betsy: Thanks! You will have to go to the Lijit search engine on the right of my blog and put in "useless trivia" and read the other ones in the series too!

Sandi: Your brain is too busy being clever than to rattle around! But I am glad I helped "fill it up" too. :-)

L.D.: It is an addiction. I am going to join Funny Anonymous sometime soon. :-}

SquirrelQueen: I can't believe how many people checked that out, I was laughing when I read the comments. And they ALL say it is true. :-}

Cheryl: I tell my husband I am the Queen of the Universe...now I can add one more name to my resume. ha

Bernie: So...did you measure your foot and your forearm???? ha

Joanna: Yup, all those "5" earthquakes weren't really tremors...it was the elephants trying to leap. ha

Sue: Take some tylenol and the sore muscles will feel better in about two days from your contortionist activities....:-}

Gaston Studio said...

LOL! That foot trivia reminds me of the scene in Pretty Woman, with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in the huge tub!

The Retired One said...

Gaston: I think I remember that scene! I still love that movie!!!

Ratty said...

After reading number five I looked over and thought , wow my forearms must be a lot longer than I thought. That's right, I have clown feet.

The Retired One said...

Ratty: How funny! Now you are a clown rat. :-}

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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