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Thursday, June 11, 2009

More Local News Reports!!

Here is another local police report from our local newspaper. I circled for the funny ones:

For those of you that can't read the small print, here's what they say:

1st one: 11:12 AM: engagement ring taken by ex-fiance, who refuses to return it, reported at police station.

MY COMMENTS?:

1. Not sure if the one who took it was a female or male? The question is....do they want their fiance back? Or just the ring?

2. Too funny that they went to the police station....must want it to hock at the nearest pawn shop???

2nd one: 6:11pm: Ex-wife took lawn furniture off front porch".....

MY COMMENTS?:

1. There is a lot of EX- crimes happening, no?

2. This smells of a messy divorce. Husband must have the house and damn it, she is NOT going to give him the lawn furniture, TOO, that S.O.B.....

3. The poor police have to be Judge Judy and go investigate this mess. Let's see, who does it really belong to? Does anyone have anything in writing to tell us who really owns it? Good God, I hope they aren't also stealing the children from each other.

3rd one: "6:37 p.m.: Small child chasing his dog"

MY COMMENTS?:

1. Good Lord, has this been deemed against the law now?

2. Why on EARTH would someone call the police over this?

3. Who called this into the police? Cruella DeVil????

4th one: "2:25am: report of a POSSIBLE fight."

MY COMMENTS?:

1. POSSIBLE fight??? Well, IS it or ISN'T it? If the person calling this in isn't sure, what are the police supposed to do?: POSSIBLY go there? to POSSIBLY break it up?

2. Maybe it was the EX fiance or the EX wife from the other situations?

3. Good thing someone didn't call in to say someone was possibly having sex.......maybe they would possibly be getting someone pregnant. Now THAT's a community birth control method!

15 comments:

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

We humans are an interesting lot, aren't we? I'm gonna tell my kids that chasing after our loose dog MIGHT be against the law...

Brittany said...

LMAO! I find the small child chasing dog one to be hilarious! Shouldn't it be the other way around? Those darn small children are horrible aren't they?!

Star said...

Very funny one about the engagement ring. You can just picture the scene, can't you!!
Blessings, Star

The Retired One said...

Lynn: I guess this means childhood is against the law? What kid didn't chase their dog when they were little and playing with it?

Brittany: yes....they all have to be incarcerated!!!

Star: I hope it was at least a carat and a half to be worth all of THAT!!!

Fran Hill said...

Er ... were they short of news?

The Retired One said...

Fran: There are always ridiculous police reports here, that's why I always list them here...I think it is hilarious that people call that stuff into the police!!

Joycee said...

Ah, small town America is just so funny! I live for Monday's restaurant report from the Health Dept.! You have the BEST posts! Keep 'em comin...
joy c. at grannymountain

Lesley said...

I love these! My town is so boring. Maybe I need to subscribe to your local paper.

grannyann said...

great police reports!!

Ratty said...

They ought to go help the poor kid get the dog. Maybe the child and the dog were just playing. I hear that might be considered a crime sometimes. No more fun.

Anna Lefler said...

My husband and I have a lot of "possible fights." Luckily, none of them have involved "alleged police officers."

;^) Anna

Bernie said...

Joan, you have so many callings, but you haven't missed any of them. You are hilarious my friend, and these police report...LOL....
no one could even make them up, thanks for sharing, I so love coming here, it's exciting as I am never sure which calling you are going to be posting about:
Big Hugs my friend

June Saville said...

I was a journalist by trade Retired One and this 'newspaper' of yours makes my flesh creep.
I really can't see any good reason for these snapshots other than to fill up the space.
They might seem funny at one moment, but I think on them a little and then they seem pretty purile and even dangerous.
News people are supposed to be responsible ...
June in Oz

Sue said...

All I can think is thank goodness for living in a place where that is the WORST that can happen.
I live in a small town too, and am glad the worst of the news is "40 real estate signs taken and set up on school lawn".
Have a great day!

The Retired One said...

Joycee: Thanks...I wish they printed the local health dept. reports here..that would be a whole other opportunity to blog! ha

Lesley: What kills me is that the people call this stuff into the police in the first place! Sometimes I think the newspaper is embarrassed to even print them.

Grannyann: Unfortunately, there will be plenty more of these same kind coming in future blog posts!
:-D

Ratty: Be careful chasing Mr. Nutz for photos...in these parts, someone might call the police (you never know!) ha

Anna: Be careful..I hear they have an A.P.P. out on you and your hubby for allegedly fighting. ha

Bernie: Thanks! Life hands me comedy wherever I look. ha (Or beauty to be captured on camera!)
Sometimes: BOTH ~!

June: You know what, June? I am not upset with the newspaper..I think the community wants the police reports to be printed. But what is more upsetting is the busybodies that call these ridiculous reports INTO the police depts. in the first place. They are ridiculous! About 15 years ago, there was a rape that happened on a college campus that the police kept quiet (no reports anywhere) and then two more (and still no warnings to anyone, especially to girls on campus)...it finally got out and when they made it a little more public, they were able to catch the man doing the rapes...it was around then that the public asked for ALL police reports to be printed in the paper (without names given, of course) in a timely way. So, the newspaper complied. It has helped people be aware of theft and break-ins at camps out in certain areas, too, so that others are aware.
What is so sad is the people that call in THESE type of ridiculous things that waste the precious police resources that makes me mad.

Sue: How right you are. I would rather hear about a fight about an engagement ring than the serious crimes that unfortunately, DO happen!

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I retired in June 2008 and started my blog in November 2008. I worked at several jobs as a Registered Nurse prior to retirement. I LOVE being retired! Blogging has offered me a whole new venue to start writing again and to share new hobbies such as gardening, birdwatching and sharing my nature photography. If you like my blog, PLEASE click on "follow this blog". Having a lot of followers reading my blog gives me incentive to continue to do photography and to continue to write. I also LOVE comments, so I encourage you to leave me a comment after you read my posts. Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read me!!

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