More Dumb State Laws!: Maine!!!

Oh, yes!

It's that time again!

Time for MORE DUMB STATE LAWS....

along

with MY COMMENTS in bold italics.

This time, we are going to look at

the

wonderful state of

MAINE!!!!

Here we go:!!!

1. Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.

Let's hope that never happens in Maine, or anywhere else. And, if my history lessons were correct, it might be more efficient and more of a level playing field if bows and arrows were used rather than shotguns, don't you think? And, if you want to have one culture attack another culture, in Maine...I guess they feel you should be in church to do it.

2.  You may not step out of a plane in flight.

Well, duh!  I say..if they are dumb enough to "step out" during a flight, let 'em do it...just don't stand close enough to the door to get sucked out!!  And don't you wonder why there had to be a law passed in Maine so that people did not do this?  And, um...who would be left alive to prosecute if they broke this law?  (Besides if someone survived to be prosecuted, I think parts of them would land in SEVERAL states, not just Maine....you know...the "splat factor" would probably yield body parts in at least 3 states, wouldn't you think?)

  

3. After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.

I LOVE this law!!!  It ought to be passed in every state of the union!!! We have one house here that leaves theirs up all year round!

4.  In Augusta: To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.

No minstrels in Maine!  No romantic proposals with accompanying violin players to make her say yes...how boring is THAT? Maybe it has to do with their cold winters? Maybe their fingers get frozen in position, and no one wants to see THAT!!!

5.  In Biddeford: No person may roller skate on a sidewalk.

What? No violins playing down the street and now no roller skaters???  So where are they SUPPOSED to roller skate then? In the middle of traffic???  I mean they can't just do circles over and over in their driveways, now can they? 

6.  In Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.

How about the 5th floor? First floor? How did they decide on just the second-story windows? Did they do some kind of scientific study that determined that second-story spit causes death to the victim? Can you see the headlines? "Murder by Spit from Second Story Spewer. Eye witnesses said they couldn't identify the perpetrator because of the globs falling into their eyes. Forensic tests indicated that the perp recently had garlic and onions which made the crime that much more heinous.  Police suspect an Italian......"

7.  In South Berwick: It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. 

That's right. You go, Maine...there is too much obesity in America.  If you are going to eat those delicious high-calorie fat rolls, you better park at least a block away to walk off some of those calories, you lard arses!!  And you..yes, YOU...the one holding the BISMARK....you...YOU have to park at LEAST two blocks from the Dunkin Donut's door....and you'd better not ask for cream for that coffee, either!!  

8.  In Wells: Advertisements may not be placed in cemeteries.

Now that is some thinking on Maine's part....you don't want all those dead people to be reading those ads and haunting the aisles in all of those stores, now DO we? I mean, the aisles are already crowded enough without all those stiffs bumping into us!!  

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