What a difference a few days makes!

First of all, earlier this week, we had frickin' snow. That's SNOW, people!! Can you frickin' imagine???


And then: yesterday? We had a high of no, I wasn't drunk 89 degrees. It was a high of only again, frickin' 42 degrees with a freeze-your-ass-off wind the day before that. Welcome to my world.

The weather here can change in a frickin' second an hour. But the still-freezing-your-ass-off beauty of the U.P. makes up for the roller coaster weather and unpredicatbility of the weather.

But I stall for drama purposes digress.

The purpose of the this post is to tell a horror story tale about my hubby.

Friday night, I was on the phone with our daughter from Florida. We are shamelessly gossiping chatting and laughing and talking some more. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my hubby being a pain pacing a bit behind me and bothering me checking now and then to see if I am still on the phone.

WTH? I am thinking,....normally he just goes elsewhere and asks me later if there is any news, etc. But no....he keeps peeking in and checking and pacing. This goes on a good twenty minutes.

So I finally say to my daughter that her dad probably needs to use the phone or something because he has been pacing and hovering around. She says goodbye and as soon as I hang up, hubby blasts in and immediately says: "Can you help me?"

I say: "Sure honey, what do you need help with?"

He holds up his hand and Holy Shit! dangling from his right thumb is this:



See the triple hook on the little fish lure's tail? The one with the killer BARB?????

Well, it was inbedded all the way up to the curve of the hook INTO HIS THUMB ..right where the nail meets the thumb.

I jump up and say: "Oh my God, honey, why didn't you interrupt me on the phone when this happened?"

He says: "I didn't want to bother you, but I have been trying to get it out with pliers and it won't budge."

We look at the situation.

It was NOT GOOD.

The hook was so deep into his thumb at the nail edge that I could feel the hook on the bottom of his thumb.

I tell him: "I am sorry hon, but we gotta go either to the ER or to the walkin clinic...they are going to have to numb your thumb and probably cut this baby out." Thinking there was no way in HELL I was going to do it! (To which he guffaws and says, "Let me try one more time!".) (To which I protest as he is tugging and screaming at the pain). Finally, he says OK and we pile into the car to go to the Walkin clinic, which is 25 miles away. I look like shit (messy hair, sweats on, no makeup) and he smells like fish (he had been fishing and caught a fish which is why the hook got imbedded in the first place as he tried to take the fish off the lure).

Now this usually is not a problem, but I used to work at this hospital, so when I go, we usually like to look at least not stinking presentable.

The whole way in he is wiggling the lure, squirming in pain trying to get it out, saying "I am so embarrassed by this!" to which I am (while driving) saying: "Quit moving and tugging on the lure, you are going to imbed the barb even MORE! Does it hurt? Oh God, it looks like it hurts!"

So we get there and go to the Receptionist Desk and she asks (without looking up): "What is the reason for your visit today?"

Hubby and I look at each other, crack up laughing and hubby just holds up his hand, embedded lure dangling from his thumb. After a few seconds (getting no verbal response from us) she looks up and her eyes widen.

"Oh my Gosh!" she says. Followed by: "you are our first this season. Ha Ha Ha." and asks him to sign the forms. (For God's sake, woman, he has a lure dangling from his thumb! How's he gonna sign?)

Anyway with a great deal of hysterical laughter friviolity, they escort us back to see the Dr. to get the lure out.

He scratches his head a bit and tells us he "thinks" What the HELL do you MEAN you THINK?? he can freeze his thumb by giving several shots see husband pale of Lidocaine into the thumb and then trying to pull the lure out. (Rather than having to use a scapel to surgically remove it). "Oh, ha ha..this is really deep, isn't it? ha ha" he sadistically says. "Well let's see what we can do!"

So he washes off his thumb, gives him 5 shots of Lidocaine in various angles into this thumb, asks him if he feels anything still...(to which hubby says (deadpan face): "Well, I sure felt the shots!") . The Doctor says, "OK, let's get this puppy out!". He grabs a tweezer thingy out and clamps it out and with GREAT effort gives a HARD, FAST tug and right when he is saying and grunting: "I dont' think......................................", it gives way and flies 1/16th inch away from the Doctor's ear and out across the room. I know, because I was there and I DUCKED, because it went flying out.

I ask (wide eyed) my hubby: "oh God, did that hurt?" and he is smiling and said: "nope".
The office staff (who are standing in the hall watching) all cheer not to mention giggle when the lure pops out.

Without missing a beat, the Dr. puts antibiotic cream and a bandaide on it (it wasn't even bleeding even though it was so deep!) and says: "Hey, how about that, I was able to save the lure!" and he puts it (GET THIS) in this:

Yep, you are seeing correctly. It is a hopefully not used URINE CUP.

He says: "I'm putting this in a cup so you don't hurt yourself taking it home". To which my husband replies: (again): "Oh God, I am so embarrassed!".

The Doctor laughs and says: "Oh we see three or four idiots patients like you every fishing season."

And we were on our way with antibiotic cream and a Rx for an antibiotic should the thumb show signs of infection.

In the car, on the way home, hubby turns to me and says: "So you aren't going to blog about this ARE you?"

But the BEST part?????

Yesterday, at the scene of the crime, my hubby catches THIS:

A nine pound, 33 inch Pike. (One of the biggest pikes he has ever caught.)

Ah, revenge is SWEET.

What a difference a few days makes.

P.S. He and his thumb are doing just fine, a LOT better than the fish that is going to be in our frying pan tonight!