Useless Tidbits!

Like USELESS TRIVIA, I have found some USELESS TIDBITS for the series to continue!

So, here is the first of the series, along with MY COMMENTS!:

1. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

Oh. My. God. Now I will never sleep again. Or, I will have to set up a roach motel in my mouth.

2. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
Donkeys, my ass! (sorry, I just couldn't help myself).

So, how exactly does this happen?

The donkeys stomp people to death?

The stench of the donkey kills you?

All criminals are asses, so maybe that's what the statistics mean?

3. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Why...whatever do you mean? (she asks coyly, fluttering her eyelashes madly).

Of course we do...we are rebooting that marvelous computer we have in our brains!

4. The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start.
Not so, not so..what about SOUTH America?

It would have to be called South AmericaS!!!

5. Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
How do we know it wasn't Shakespeare's WIFE??

Because you know all wives tell husbands what to say!!!

6. According to tests made at the Institute for the Study of Animal Problems in Washington, D.C., dogs and cats, like people, are either right-handed or left-handed --- that is, they favor either their right or left paws.
So. Since this was a test by the Study of Animal PROBLEMS ....is this a problem?

Will we have to make righthanded dog dishes or left handed kitty play mouses then?

7. Blue whales weigh as much as 30 elephants and are as long as 3 Greyhound buses.

My question is, how did they get them to stand on the scale to check this.
Bwaaaahahaaaaaaa.

And, where did they get the same kind of scale to weigh a whale, 30 elephants at once AND 3 greyhound buses????

A wet truck stop scale under water???

8. Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You'll lose him or her every time.
Ummm...I don't think I could do this with my messy pants.

And, I would probably need a dramamine for the motion sickness.

9. Birds do not sleep in their nests. They may occasionally nap in them, but they actually sleep in other places.
So,what is the difference between a nap and sleeping?

Because normally, when I nap, I AM sleeping.

Anyone?

Bueller?

So they are saying birds "sleep around"?

Those sluts!