A Day for the Birds...

Yesterday, we had an interesting bird day.

One side of our house (facing the lake) has a lot of glass windows in it:

And so, when the spring birds arrive, unfortunately they don't always see the windows and we hear a sickening "thud"...and we know a bird hit one of our windows. Usually they land on our deck.

If we are quick enough, we can go out and retrive the bird and try and save it.

Many people don't know this, but even if the bird looks like it broke its neck, if you "upright" the bird by holding it and keep stimulating it by petting it or talking to it so it keeps awake, it will sometimes miraculously come back to normal.

We have done this many times, when the bird's neck even looks broken and "floppy".

So yesterday, here is the little fella that hit our window and some pictures of us holding him and trying to get him to not fall asleep:

He seemed better, so we took him outside and he perked up. So much, in fact, that he flew over to a tree and landed there:

But, pretty soon, we saw him leaning too much against the twig. So, I had my husband go and get him off the tree and Itook him back in the house and held him some more. I kept stroking him and telling him he was NOT allowed to fall asleep! :


Then, after a while, I brought him outside and put him beside all of his buddies and watched to see if they would keep him stimulated:

He is the one on the left (in front)

We waited for an hour or so, and when I went back outside on the deck to check on him, he had gotten better and had flown away!!!

Success!!!

Except NOW, we have no idea which one he is of all of his twin brothers and sisters!!:

Time again for Local Police Posts!!!

Here is another local police report: If you can't read the small print, here is the first one:

9:05am: "Dog trying to get into school, 600 block of N. Front."

The poor dog probably missed its little boy or girl. But to call the police?
What was the dog doing that was threatening?
Couldn't they just bring it to the humane society?
Maybe he was smart and wanted some schooling. But, call the police? What were they going to do? Arrest him? (If so, they better bring an extra set of handcuffs for his back legs, like in my previous blog's poodle story).
Another: "Book him, Dano..For slobbering, 101."
What is with it with the DOGS in these police news stories????

The second one said:

1:51pm: No parking sign lodged under a vehicle, Lakeshore and Spring."

Now, this driver is another one of my heros.
Who has the balls to hit a no-parking sign, continue to drive over it and then, (what-the-hell): PARK on TOP of it????
Woo-hoo! That takes courage.
(Or maybe they decided to "hide" it by parking on top of it. But, either way...pretty ingenious!

Worth Following Award!!

VaBookworm, whom I shall call "the Creative One" has designed an award all of her OWN to bestow on others.

I was tickled pink when I saw that she named me first to receive this fantastic blogging award!

You have to stop by VaBookworm's blog, called: Confessions of a Bookworm. Click on the link, and you will be guaranteed some fun and humor!

Here is her beautifully designed award:

Here are the rules (which I totally copied and pasted here from her blog):

This award is known as the "Worth Following" Award! This award, as the name suggests, is given to blogs that you would highly recommend to other readers.

Give this award to three of your favorite blogs, ones you make a point of reading as often as possible!

When you nominate them, you have to write a short description (just a few sentences) about the blog and why you are nominating the blog. Link to each of your choices, as well as the the blog that nominated you!

I really hate having to only list three blogs that I think are worth following. And, I refuse to say the blogs below are my favorites* (sorry VaBookworm, I just can't pick favorites). You know I love you all and read you all on a frequent basis (as you can see by the frequent comments I make to all of you on each your blogs.)

So for this assignment, I decided (instead!) to actually name 3 blogs that I follow because they have similar themes. The people below are struggling. Either financially, emotionally or they have made a drastic changes in their life, and/or are taking a chance.
Because of the uniqueness of their blogs, I am nominating the ones below for the award:

1. This one will actually name two blogs (written by the same author). Debb and her husband have been homeless and struggling financially. They lived in their car for a period of time and now in a tiny hotel room, and she states they may soon be evicted from there. These blogs show her emotional roller-coaster as her and her family are coping with their struggle. Her two blog links are listed below:

That's Just Fugtastic!
and
Home is Where the Car is Parked.

2. Susanne had a life-long dream of quitting her job and trying to make a living out of traveling in the RV and taking spectacular photos of traveling the entire United States. She is writing books from her travels and photography to try and make a living, and I admire her guts in going for her dream. Her blog is full of gorgeous pictures as she travels from place to place, while living out of her RV. Her blog posts are full of education, telling you the history of the areas she takes the shots in. So, you not only will see some fantastic photography, but you learn about the areas she travels in.
Her blog is called:

Sue's Daily Photography

3. My cousin Jess became a widow about a year ago. Her husband was still fairly young, and as anyone would feel in this situation, her husband's death came as quite a shock to her. She started a blog as a networking way to share grief. She has come a long way from that awful day. Her blog is a really interesting journey of sorting out her feelings and coping with her transition back from grief. Please stop by her blog, which is called:

aka Nancy Drew

*Oh yeah, when I first started blogging, I turned to my mentor, Aria at Aria'z Ink and asked her a million questions. So, although this cheats (on the bestowing only three awards thing), I want to say a special thanks to her now, by giving her this award, too. Because she really was helpful, inspiring and sweet in encouraging me as I clumsily learned about blogging. If you get a chance, stop by her blog, too!

It is really important to let others know if you find blogs you enjoy reading. The authors love to have others read their blogs and comment on them. And, if you like them, if they have a spot on their blog to follow them, make sure you do...believe me, it MAKES THEIR DAY!

Thanks VaBookworm, for designing this award to help others read new blogs and to help give recognition to them for their uniqueness.

And to those of you that I didn't have room to also list for this award????

Don't worry....you are all on my list of blogs that are my favorites and ones I would recommend to others. You will be candidates/game for future awards, should I be blessed with more!!

P.S. I have posted two posts today, so look below this post for the other one, if you haven't read it yet! Thanks!!

Beware of Naked Boys with Poodles....

Another news story to share with you:

HART TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — Police say a naked 14-year-old boy taking a walk with a large white poodle has assaulted a woman in Michigan.Sheriff's Lt. Craig Mast says the boy walked away from a behavioral treatment facility Monday. He was strolling unclothed in Hart Township with the dog when he encountered a 53-year-old woman in her yard.Mast says, "The young naked man approached her with this poodle, and she immediately realized something peculiar."They spoke briefly. When the woman took out a cell phone to call for help, the boy pushed her and fled with the phone, which he later broke in half.Deputies found the boy. He's charged in juvenile court with strong-arm robbery and assault.

Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Barrington Broadcasting is a member of the AP Network.

My thoughts?:

1. Let's go back to the line: "and she immediately noticed something peculiar." ---YA' THINK??? I mean, normally, naked fourteen year olds don't roam the neighborhood, much less with a poodle, no?

2. They charged the boy "with strong arm robbery" .

WTF? Strong arm robbery?

Ok, he did push her, and took her cellphone. Maybe he wanted to call for some clothes?

It must have been obvious that he was a troubled boy.

I think if I was her, I would have gone immediately into my house, locked the door and then called the police.

3. Where did he get the poodle?

4. What happened to the poodle? The police said they found the boy, but it does not mention what happened to the poodle.

5. Maybe the real criminal was the poodle!

Maybe he ate the boy's clothes and maybe the POODLE pushed the woman and stole the cellphone and broke it.

But if the boy says this to the police (in his defense), it isn't like they can ask the poodle if this is true, right?

And, do you think the police would believe the naked boy over the poodle's testimony? Woof! (That's right: WOOF!)


6. Thank goodness they said the poodle was LARGE.

It probably helped cover up a lot of the naked boy.

In fact, it probably covered up more of him than say, a bathing suit would.

So, if the poodle covered him up, was he really naked?

Maybe it was a new fashion statement.

Like a fur coat, only he left the critter keep its fur.

That is more humane, right?

7. So, if it WAS the poodle who was the criminal?

Maybe the police had to go back and get another set of handcuffs (for the poodle's back legs).


Book 'em Dano....for "Slobbering, 101".

Just say No: To Garlic !! Oh yeah...and also Easter Decorations

I haven't been to one of those "home parties" for years.

You know the kind(s) I mean: those Tupperware parties, candle parties, home interior parties, etc.

I decided years ago that the things they sell at those parties are usually way over-priced, they are things I really don't need and they prey on the fact that you are at a friend's house and so you are obligated to buy stuff (and you do). (And regret it later).

So, after a hiatus of not going to these type of parties for years, I had a moment of weakness when a dear friend I hadn't seen in a while asked me to attend a party where they sell foods.
(I won't name the kind of party, but you probably have gone to one. It is where they pass around different samples of foods for you to taste and then you can order the food products that you tasted at the end of the party).

So, against my better judgement, I said yes, I will attend.

I get there on time.

I look around.

I know no one other than the hostess and one other woman in a room of about twenty-five senior-aged women.

The hostess's house is decorated to the hilt with Easter decorations. I mean, everywhere you look. To the point of being ridiculous.

There are cute bunnies in the foyer. There are cute bunny candles on every end table.

The salt and pepper shakers are chicks and eggs.

She has dainty pastel dishes full of chocolate easter candies on every table.

I begin to wonder if the Hostess is wearing Easter underwear.

The plates and cups are all Easter-themed.

I introduce myself and do some small talk with a few of the ladies there.

A few ladies are chatting (that know each other) but other than that, it is quiet.

Very quiet. (Which will be an element which will have more importance in what is to come in my story).

I sit down in the only seat available: in the middle of the circle, squished in on a couch with two other women.

I place my Diet Coke on the Bunny coaster on the end table next to me, right next to the Easter Egg tree dripping in hanging Easter eggs.

The Seller starts the party and begins to hand out Bunny plates of things to taste.

Several plates of things get passed around the circle, one right after the other.

Several of them are seasoned with garlic.

At this point, I should tell you that garlic and I have a bad relationship/history.

I like it.

It does not like me.

The best way to explain it is that you could synchronize your watches and if I have ingested any form of garlic: I will be heading for the nearest toilet exactly within 22 minutes of having had it.
Literally 22 minutes. Count them. 22 minutes.

Unfortunately, the presentation is now 25 minutes long.

My stomach lurches and begins to rumble.

Loudly.

Out of politeness, no one says anything about hearing it.

I see no sideways glances.

But, I know everyone there hears it. (I told you it was quiet in the room!)

Large beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead.

The Seller announces that she is done with the main entree presentation (Thank God! I say to myself) when she also proclaims:
"And now, ladies, wait until you taste these desserts!"

I change positions on the couch, clenching all my rectal abdominal muscles possible.

I know the outcome is inevitable.

I am praying that I can hold back the forces for just ten more minutes.

I am afraid to breathe.

The Seller passes around 4 more plates of pound cake with decadent fudge sauces and caramel drizzles.

The ladies next to me on the couch say to me: "Don't you want to try these, honey? They look so scrumptous".

I blurt out (in Lamaze-type half breaths): "No thanks, I am just too full (stomach rumbling louder now) from the other good stuff that we sampled!".

I look around the room in a panic for the shortest escape, for the For-the-Love-of-God-let-me-out-of-here most direct route to the hallway, where I know the shit-can bathroom is.

The Seller finally announces that this is the last plate Thank you, Jesus she is sending around the tasting circle.

I pass it to my left and as soon as the lady takes it out of my hands, I stand up, praying that I don't shit my pants all hell doesn't let loose right there on her cream colored satin couch and beige carpet.

I literally run down her hall and into the bathroom.

I barely get unzipped and make it on time to the toilet.

I know I must be as quiet as possible doing my business, because I can hear the ladies in the other room clearly--talking as they filled out their order blanks by now.

I turn the water on full blast to try and disguise shatting full blast what is the entire contents of my stomach (including the contents of all ten miles of of my guts intestines) emptying.

I flush the toilet, clean up as best as possible, and finally stand up and zip my pants.

At which point, the pressure immediately occurs again.

I hurriedly unzip my pants, sit down again, and it occurs all over again.

I do this three frickin' times.

By now, there is a line outside the bathroom of other ladies wanting to use the facilities.
They are probably thinking I am a bulemic and vomiting up all the food from the party. At least, that is what I hoped. That would be a hell of a lot better than them knowing the real truth.

I am now panicking and wondering how to camoflouge odors that I cannot even describe (nor do you want me to).

There are only two delicate hand towels laying on the counter. Pastel (of course!) with (what else?): bunnies on them.

Right next to the Easter egg hand soap container.

Oh, and next to the bunny candles.

I clean my hands for several minutes, to make sure I am clean, thus practically wrecking saturating one of the little Easter towels with water and God-knows-what-other-residue.

I spray the entire room with some kind of sickening lavender aerosol room deodorizer, making sure there is no trace of stench evidence left in or around the toilet.

I open the bathroom door, and to my relief there is no one waiting now.
I believe someone had directed them into the master bedroom's bathroom instead.

Relieved, I return to the main room and, without giving anyone much eye contact, hastily filled out my order for some over-priced food items I didn't need in the first place .

I hug the hostess goodbye, thank her for inviting me, make some lame excuse about needing to drive home before it got too dark and headed out of her house.

We live 25 minutes from her house.

I got home, slammed the car door and sprinted into our house.

My husband said: "Hi, hon...how was the party?"

To which I blurted out: "GARLIC!!! LOOK OUT!"

We've been married 36 years.

He understood.

He immediately moved over and I headed straight for the closest bathroom to the back door.

I almost didn't make it.

To make matters worse, when I looked at my order form this morning: I had ordered one wrong item. I wanted one thing, and in a haste to leave the party, I mistakenly ordered the item above it on the order blank.
Great!

Now, I will not only get several overpriced food items I didn't need, but one that I don't even like.

Well, at least the Hostess (my dear friend) will make some money from her party. (So she can go out and buy more Easter decorations with her profits).

God, I gotta go to more of these "at home" parties.

They are so much fun!!!

Customer Service?...NOT!

I so admire my husband.

He just bought an expensive planer at a major home improvement center. (I won't name it because we could get sued). But, it ryhmes with sews.

He bought it in February, and as you may recall (if you are a regular reader), we were gone for 3 weeks in February on a cross country trip to Florida. He has used it maybe for 3 or 4 different times since we got back.

Yesterday, he turned it on and it ran fine, but it would not feed the boards into the planer to be planed. He tried everything. He checked the manual. He cleaned it out. He let it rest and tried again. Nope, it would not feed the boards in.

Luckily, I keep receipts for all of our purchases for about a year (or the length of a warranty, at least). So, we are pretty confident that we can probably return the planer for a new one that works, since it is practically brand new.

So, he calls the HIC (home improvement center that rhymes with sews) and asks if he can return it. He gets someone who hims and haws and then puts him on hold to get someone ELSE to talk to him.

Let's stop right there for a moment, shall we?

Now, if it was ME, I would not call them! I would've shown up, sweaty, frustrated and with a wheelbarrow hauling ass with that contraption in it and I would have plopped in down in front of the return desk and handed them the receipt and opened my wallet for my return.

Oh. No.

He patiently and apologetically explains his dilemma to who answers the phone and asks for assistance as to whether or not (get this): they would consider repairing it. (Picture me, in the background, squirming in my seat, sighing loudly and waving my arms to say return it, damn it! It is NOT YOUR FAULT their crappy, cheaply made planer couldn't take 20 boards through it!).

So the HIC person tells him to call the manufacturer to see if THEY can tell us HOW TO FIX IT! (Are you frickin' kidding me?: I am thinking! Why can't we just return it and get a new one?)!!

So he THANKS the HIC person and dials the manufacturer and promptly gets a menu of choices on the phone. (You know the drill: push 1 if you are calling about your bill, push 2 if you are a distributer...etc. Push 114 if you are my mother-in-law...)

So he patiently wades his way through a zillion of these, and is told (as a last directory choice!), to leave his name and number and "someone will get back to you". He does it! And. Waits. And.

Waits.

After an hour or two, someone does call him, he relates to them a blow by blow description of how he tried this and that, and they tell him they can't help him, and to find "the closest repair place that accepts their product for repair." He asks them for a list of places near where we live.

The closest place listed is 55 miles away. He THANKS them and hangs up.

He then calls back the HIC and explains that after waiting for quite some time, he was told that the closest place to get it repaired is 55 miles away, and he doesn't think that is possible. The HIC person STILL hims and haws and says he will have someone call us back.

I. AM. NOT. KIDDING.

So he again waits. And waits. And waits.

By now, I am steaming. I am ranting about just loading the damn thing in our car and leaving it off at the HIC Manager's front yard.

Dont' get me wrong. I used to work in Quality Assurance at a hospital. I had calls all the time from angry patients or angry doctors about how they think they should have gotten better service while in the hospital. I was kind. I listened. But I always...ALWAYS tried to do everything in my power to make them satisfied. But I always did the leg work, the investigation and I always explained what I could do to help them. I always gave the best service possible.

Can you imagine this scenario in the healthcare system? I can hear it now:

Patient: Um, I am calling about this knee you replaced. It won't support my leg. I just got it put in during surgery 30 days ago, I have the medical bills to prove it.

Me: Here, I will give you the manufacturer of your prosthetic knee replacement, and you can call them to see if you can get it repaired at their factory.

Patient: I tried that from the last time you called, I only get foreign speaking people, who didn't call me back. When I recalled them, they said the nearest manufacturer of the knee replacement is in China. I don't think that is reasonable.

Me: Look. The Surgeon will have to call you back. You can't return it, you have stood on it for 30 days. You're outta luck, sorry.

Patient: Why can't I return and get a new one?

Me: I am sorry, I will have God call you back on that one. But, don't expect a call anytime soon...he is a little busy. Lotsa calls about heart transplants that are giving folks some problems.

************************************************************************************

Anyway, he FINALLY got a return call a few minutes after from the HIC Manager.

What did the HIC Manager say?:

He said HE was going to call the manufacturer to see a way for MY HUSBAND to fix the planer.

What did my husband say?:

Ok, just call me back when you hear from them.

By now, I am doing CARTWHEELS of anger.

I get so frustrated, I go and take a shower.

After over an hour, the HIC Manager FINALLY calls and says: "Gee, I was on hold for quite a while with the manufacturer before they finally got to me. I guess they don't know how to have you fix it. So, I GUESS you can bring it in tomorrow and we will replace it for you."

My husband? What did he say?:

He apologizes that he no longer has the original box, but says he does have the receipt, and asks: is that OK????

OH LORD!!!!!!!

When THE FORCE gave out patience to this family, I think my husband got it all.

Me, with this incident?:

Not so much...

More Blogger Password Definitions!!

For those of you that have just recently joined my blog as a reader, every now and then I do a post about those ridiculous (made-up) passwords one has to type in when you leave a comment on someone's blog.

Anyway, a while back, I though that it might be funny if I could make up actual (equally stupid, but hopefully funny) definitions for those passwords.

So I used the REAL, actual passwords that I had to type in and made my own dictionary to interpret possible meanings for those silly words. Because of the great feedback I got from my readers, now I keep track of the actual made-up passwords forced upon me when I want to leave a comment on someone's blog,--- save them up, and then regularly post my own definitions of them every few weeks.

So here are the TOP TEN actual passwords (and my definitions) for this week:

1. Beardiz: Like, in "my post-menopausal beardiz completely gross". Or, when a wife and a husband are eating spaghetti and she leans over and says: Hey, your beardiz full of spaghetti sauce, use your napkin for God's sake!"

2. Prozato: A new potato chip soon to be sold by the Lay's company. It is made of potatoes and Prozac. (Bet you can't eat just one!!....well, who the hell cares???) And, you won't care who calls you a dip. You will naturally assume they are talking about that creamy stuff you are dipping your prozato in!

3. Gutis: As in: you have no gutis if you do not bungy-jumpis.

4. Disis: As in: disis the stupidest word to have to type in to leave a comment on someone's blog.

5. feari: Have no feari, you fairy...just DO IT!

6. womics: This is obviously a comic about a woman. Probably Wonder Woman.

7. ninsfur: This is the fur of a nincompoop. Sometimes seen in Washington D.C. after a fight over the budget or after Congress hears about AIG bonuses.

8. Youster: What the Godfather says to you....you gangsta. Also can mean: Ten years ago, you youster look younger.

9. myotel: What the British say: "Hey Chap, are you driving me to my 'otel?" . This word can also mean: a hotel for weightlifters. (For those of you with no medical background: "myo" means mucscle).

10.quitere: What the French say you are if you don't want to play anymore. "Oh Mon Deux! You are a quitere!!! "You need a kick in the derriere!"

Stay tuned for more of my defintions as I have to type in these ridiculous made-up words!!!

Out of McNuggets?? Call 911 !!!

Another news story for "MY THOUGHTS":

FORT PIERCE, FLA. (AP) -- Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of McNuggets. A police report said 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

She says she was refused a refund and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.

(Copyright ©2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

My thoughts?:

1. She's being sent a gift card for a free meal? WHY? Why do they reward these nuts for being nuts?

2. She really should be made to do some community service. Maybe spend the day helping feed the homeless. Or, be made to sit at a 911 switchboard for 80 hours listening to REAL 911 calls. (And then, she should have been made to work another 80 hours cleaning that office as punishment for mis-using 911 in this manner). She just doesn't get it!

3. Would she have gotten more of a reward (for being nuts) if she ordered a Big Mac and they ran out?

4. She refused her refund and "became irate" because they were out of McNuggets? She really is McNuts!!!

5. I give the counter workers at McDonald's a LOT of credit for putting up with Lady McNuts and not losing it.

No Lemons and I still got Lemonade!!

Well, I thought yesterday was a good day...turns out today is TOO!

Kearsie, at Sounds like Tomatoes has bestowed another Lemonade Award to Moi !!:

The award is for wonderful blogs demonstrating great attitude and/or gratitude. Thanks Kearsie!!!!

Rules for the award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate 10 blogs that show attitude and/or gratitude.

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on a post.

5. Nominate your favorites and link to this blog.

Since I am going to be a rebel, I am not going to list more blogs as winners.

Instead, please click on my followers list and I bestow the award to the top 10 new followers!

So, if you are reading this post, new top 10 latest followers, you have won this award!!!

Come pick it up and make a comment on this blog, and it is yours!

Once again, much gratitude to Kearsie! Make SURE you stop by her blog, she is a hoot. And, she comments ALL the time, which I love.

LOL Kearsie!!

P.S. I have another post for today on mystery birds: see post below!!

Spring Sign Number 5: Only 45 to go!!

For those of you that didn't read this, you may want to click on the previous post to understand my countdown.

As my foggy brain was waking up yesterday, I heard little "chirp chirp"'s right outside my bedroom, on the deck.

I opened the curtain, and there they were! Some returning-to-the-north spring birds eating the thistle.

Quiz: Can anyone help me name these birds*? Are they Redpolls, finches, wrens, sparrows?

*Notice that some have red and some have yellow on them. What are they?

Thanks Patricia! (For making my day!)

Patricia, at Subjective Soup, surprised me with two awards today: Another Passionate Blogger Award:

AND another Let's Be Friends Award:

So, I gotta say, this is a good day for ME!

How's your day goin'??????

Please click on the link to Patricia's blog (above). I enjoy reading her blog, and you will too!

Since I have already bestowed these awards to all of you on my list, I guess I get a free pass this time and get to hover in the corner, polishing my awards and grinning, while muttering: "here you are my Precious!"

(Ok, that IS a little creepy!)...

P.S. I did two posts today, so just scroll down if you have not read the other one yet.

Useless Facts and Trivia!!

When browsing the internet, I found an article called "Absolutely Useless Trivia", which I would like to share with you in installments, along with (what else?): "My Thoughts!"

So here is Volume One of Fifteen: (My thoughts are in italics):

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel. (although it is harder to ride a rat into the desert).

2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, otherwise it will digest itself. (You didn't know you were a mucus-maker, now DID you?)

3. The Declaration of Independence (the very official copy in the Rotunda of the National Archives) is written on parchment, not paper. (You bake some cookies on parchment, to keep them from burning on the bottom and being burnt. Hmmm...maybe the forefathers were on to something!)

4. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. (This is making a hundred 11-year-old boys giggle uncontrollably).

5. A raisin dropped in a fresh glass of soda will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top. (You are going to test this one, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?)

6. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. (Poor baby. We need to take her aside and talk to her, aren't we ladies?) (But, that PMS is a bitch, isn't it?)

7. A 2x4 is actually 1-1/2" x 3-1/2" . (Now, if you are a man, you probably understand why this is so. That is not a sexist statement, it is just an observation. Can anybody out there explain why this is so about the 2X4's?) (I hear crickets chirping...anyone? Anyone?)

8. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. (I am sure a few adults get them, too. And besides, its for the TOYS. When will Mickey-D figure out that if they offer adult toys with adult meals, their sales will go up?)

9. Every person has a unique tongue print. (Say "aaah") (Go ahead...slap some Milk of Magnesia on it and blot on a piece of paper, and then have your loved ones do the same. But, don't use too much, because then you will have to stand in line to use the toilet. Not. Pretty.) Also, how many crimes have been solved by tongue prints?????

10. The 'spot' on 7-UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino. (Wow, who knew that? And, isn't it kind of creepy?) Now, every time I look at a 7-up bottle, I'm going to be creeped out.

Stay tuned for more Useless facts and Trivia blog posts...they will be coming...

Another Local News Post!!......................

Here is my weekly "local news" post: Try clicking on it once to enlarge it to be able to read the small print:If clicking on it didn't make it big enough to read for you, the one I want to discuss first is in the lower left hand corner. It says:

"11:07am: Complaint of stray tan Chihuahua at back door, 600 block of Hampton St.

My thoughts?:

1. Pretty intelligent of him, ringing the doorbell (when he was so short).

2. SO??? What was he going to do?

3. Was the brute going to bite your ankle?
4. Sell you tacos?

The second one said:

"1:59am: Suspicious male subject dragging a large object, appeared to be trying to hide behind trees, 300 block of S. Seventh St."

My thoughts?:

1. Now this one was slightly creepy, but actually more like intriguing.
2. What was he dragging?
3. A body?
4. And he must have been skinny, trying to hide behind a tree..because face it, most of us are a little wider.
4. But, dang...now I want to know what he was dragging!!!

5. The paper didn't say a WORD that day about anyone missing....so, what was it?
6. Was he the owner of the dog and was it the Chiquaqua's dog bed? His dog dish?
7. I mean they both happened on the same day?! Maybe he was the dog owner and it was a hide and seek game???

Now, we will never know.

P.S. Of course,...if he looked like THIS guy.. well, Helllll-oooooooooooo....

I think they would have to arrest ME!!!

This Driver is TOTALLY my Hero....................

A news story that I just had to comment on:

BELLEVUE, Wash. (AP) — You forgot to buckle up, dummy!

A commuter who put a homemade dummy in the passenger seat to sneak into the car pool lane was caught Wednesday near Seattle. But it wasn't because a cop realized the passenger was fake.
Instead, the State Patrol trooper noticed the dangling belt buckle on the passenger side and suspected a seat belt violation.
Patrol spokeswoman Christina Martin told The Herald of Everett that the driver acknowledged trying to beat traffic by using the HOV lane.
He created his passenger by draping a rain jacket over plastic piping, topping it off with a Halloween mask of Gandalf, the "Lord of the Rings" wizard, a beard and a baseball cap.
The trooper issued a $124 ticket and confiscated the dummy.
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press.


Can you picture it????

Gandalf with a baseball cap?

I wonder what the other cars thought when they saw Gandalf (when he passed them)??

Wonder what the Trooper did with the dummy when he confiscated it?

P.S. Does anyone else think that HOV lanes are ridiculous?
What if you don't have any friends? That is some kind of discrimination, isn't it???????

Four down, and 36 to Go!!!!

When you live in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (da U.P.), the passage into spring is nothing less than a miracle.
Now, some people (that live in Michigan) call where they live as "northern Michigan", but they are talking about the northern part of the "mitten" part of Michigan.

But TRUE "northern Michigan" is the Upper Peninsula which is only separated from Canada by Lake Superior and it is separated by the great bodies of waters of the other Great Lakes from the "mitten" part of Michigan.

In the U.P., we get a LOT of snow.

A. LOT. And, even in the U.P., those that live in the southern U.P. sometimes get 50% less snow than even those in the northern part or northwestern part of the U.P.

The reason I am going into this is so those not from Michigan can understand our weather.

We get more like Canadian weather. But, even worse sometimes, because the Canadian cold travels across Lake Superior and gathers up moisture to dump it (in the form of snow) on us, and gives us even more cold.

What does this mean to us?
Our snow arrives in late October and stays here until late April. We have had snow in May many times. And once, while we were watching our 4th of July parade, there were snowflakes in the air.
I am not kidding.
Yet, during most of our summers, we do get 80 degree weather (and we even experience some in the 90's) and we have had our share of muggy.

To live here, you must have about 4 sets of clothes to match the changing weather. (And count in an extra set for your "fat clothes" you must own from hibernating all winter and not exercising much).

But, because of the amount of snow we get,it takes longer to melt the snow and for spring to finally bless us with its presence.

So, when it FINALLY comes, people here get giddy.

I mean it.

Giddy!

Personally, I have a checklist of things that I wait for every approaching spring. As each one presents itself, I get happier and happier.

The reason for this post, is that I saw the first ROBIN (which is on the list) in my back yard yesterday. I leaped out of my chair and announced it and clapped my hands and ran to get my camera, I was so happy. (But he flew away by then).

There are Robins in the U.P. that supposedly stay the whole year.....but none do that where I live (and I know, because I do a LOT of bird watching).

So, I got to thinking (which by now, if you are a regular reader, you know this could be dangerous).

What would be MY LIST of all the signs of spring?

So here is my "HALLELUEUJAH, We-Are-One-Step-Closer-to-Spring" LIST. It is not really spring until ALL 40 of the following occur:

1. Seeing a robin within 10 miles of my front yard or IN my yard

2. Hearing or seeing a flock of geese flying north overhead
3. All the snow melted from all the roofs within 20 miles of my front yard
4. All the snow melted from all of the roofs in my town.
5. All of the snow melted from our roofs This photo was taken today of my house and snow

6. No snow patches in anyone's yards near where I live
7. No snow patches in the woods near where I live
8. Seeing my first Trillium wildflower in bloom in the woods near where I live
9. Seeing my first wildflower in bloom on the forest's floor near where I live
10. Seeing or smelling the first skunk on the highway
11. Seeing the trees budding in my yard
12. Seeing the trees' leaves coming out of the buds in my yard
13. Seeing the Goat's Beard in my yard by the lake: budding
14. Seeing the Goat's Beard in my yard by the lake : get leaves coming out
15. Seeing my cherry tree blossom
16. Seeing my apple tree blossom
17. Seeing children go by riding their bikes
18. Waking up and hearing more birds singing (other than just winter birds)
19. Seeing the Forget-Me-Nots in my yard starting to bloom

20. Seing light green shoots poking up in my garden (of my tulips, daffodils and lillies coming up)

21. Seeing my first tulip in my yard in bloom
22. Seeing my first daffodil in my yard in bloom
23. Seeing flocks of "spring" birds returning to my feeders
24. Hearing "peepers" sing in the ponds at night
25. Seeing the ice break up in the lake that we live on
26. Seeing NO MORE ice on the lake that we live on
27. Seeing the small, annual flooding of the lake on our shore (from the meltdown): receed
28. Seeing the first person put out their dock on the lake we live on
29. Seeing the roadside parks that have been blocked for the winter: open again
30. Seeing someone outside, washing their car
31. Seeing someone walk by with shorts on (which usually happens the first time it hits 60 around here)
32. Seeing someone drive by with a convertable car with the top down (ditto on the 60 degree thing above)
33. Seeing the fist motorbiker drive by
34. Hearing the kids down at the park bouncing their basketball and making baskets
35. Hearing the first mower running
36. Seeing someone working on their garden
37. Seeing local businesses putting up their greenhouse "huts" where they sell flowers from
38. Seeing those greenhouse huts with flowers lined up OUTSIDE and for sale.
39. Seeing them set up their outdoor fruit stand and flower stands near where I live
40. Seeing my first spring dandelion
************************************************************************************
As of the date of this post, we have had four days of weather in the 50's. (Off and on, not in a row).
I have seen one robin, one motorbiker and two businesses starting to erect their greenhouse huts. And, a few of our trees are budding. Four out of 40 !!!

Stay tuned as I see/hear the other "sure signs of spring in da U.P. !!!!! I will try and post each one as I see/hear them, and add pictures, as I can capture some of them.

I am Really Humbled.....Three more awards!

Today, I received THREE AWARDS!!!!
1+2=3 !!!!!

I guess you could call this a SUPER DAY!!! (That is not spring thunder you are hearing, it is ME, doing a bunch of happy dancing here in upper Michigan!!!)

From my friend and mentor: Aria, at Aria's Ink, I got this one:


Then, I received TWO awards from Sara (at The Breathing Post)!

From Sara, I got another Uber Amazing Blog Award PLUS ALSO this one: (The Kreativ Blogger Award):


I truly love my readers and fellow bloggers. It can be a regular day, or a good day, or a for-shit day and all one has to do is click on someone else's blog and read their funny post, or their touching post and after you do, it makes you feel so much better!

It is the feeling of companionship, of brotherhood/sisterhood, of knowing that you are not alone in the way you think about things, about being zany and knowing others understand you,
that bonds us.

It is hard to explain to someone who does not regularly blog, isn't it?

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I treasure the two blogger friends who gave me the above-mentioned awards. For simply being: them.

Now, to get to my assignments (from the awards):
First, for the Uber Amazing Blog Award;
Uber (synonym to Super) Amazing Blog Award is a blog award given to sites who:
~ inspires you
~ makes you smile and laugh
~ or maybe gives amazing information
~ a great read
~ has an amazing design
~ and any other reasons you can think of that makes them uber amazing!

The rules of this award are:
* Copy the badge and put the logo on your blog sidebar or post. (Check!)
* Nominate at least 5 blogs (can be more) that for you are Uber Amazing! (See below)
* Let them know that they have received this Uber Amazing award by commenting on their blog. (Will Do!)
* Share the love and link to this this post and to the person you received your award from. (Done!)

As a twist, I am going to name 8 blogs that have some amazing photography on them for both the Uber Amazing Blog Award and the Kreativ Blogger Award. That's right!!!! The folks listed below have just gotten TWO awards at once!! I have just recently gotten into taking digital photos of birds, flowers and landscapes and love doing it. (You can see them on my slide show above....all of the pictures in the slideshow are ones I have personally taken). Here are my Uber Award winners for photography. If you get a chance, please stop by their blogs to view their wonderful photography and stories about their photos:

1. Susanne at Sue's Daily Photography
2.Ratty at The Everyday Adventurer
3. Rainfield61 at My Journey
4.Shelly at Birding in Michigan
5.Denise at A Photo a Day
6. Sharon at A New England Life
7.DVM's Wife at The DVM's Wife's Life
8. Cathy at Yooper Yarns

And,for the Kreativ Bloggers Award, you are supposed to name 7 other bloggers to bestow the award to (I did already, see above, PLUS THE ONE MENTIONED BELOW.) In addition, the award winner must list seven things they really like. So here goes:

1. Writing (anything, anywhere!), of course that includes Blogging and my fellow bloggers.
2. Like I said, I have recently really gotten into digital photography of flowers, birds, landscapes, and just about everything in nature! As I take new ones, I will be adding them to my blog's slideshow (above) so keep on watching it!
3. Gardening (flowers mostly).
4. Antiques and collectables. (My husband and I are renovating an old building and hope to have an antique shop in it within the next 2 years).
5. Garage Sales, Estate sales and auctions (where I buy all my treasures for the shop and for our house).
6. Baking (and eating the baking, of course!)
7. Going on trips (especially to the tropics in the winter, or anywhere new!)

Besides the photography blogs I mentioned above, I am also bestowing the Kreativ Blog Award to Aria at Ariaz Ink for her unique blog and for being the wonderful mentor she was/is to me as I came into this great world of blogging. Stop by her blog....you will be glad you did!!!!

Once again, thank you to Sara and Aria for their gracious an generosity in giving me recognition for my blog!
And thanks to my readers for continuing to read my blog.
I love to write and having readers is like giving crack to a crack addict.
I also love it when I get comments....so keep them coming!!!

Now THAT is an idea..........................

Here is another news story I thought I would share:

BRYANT, Ark. (AP) — Police said a woman has been arrested for allegedly slipping some tranquilizers into her boss's coffee because she felt "he needed to chill out." Police said the 24-year-old woman admitted to detectives that she slipped the drugs into veteranarian John Duckett's drink. Officers said Duckett knew something was wrong shortly after drinking some of the coffee Tuesday morning.

Officers said the woman cleaned the cages at the the Reynolds Road Animal Clinic.
A judge set bond at $25,000 Friday and a jailer said the woman was still being held Friday. Her next court appearance is scheduled for April 21.
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Barrington Broadcasting is a member of the AP Network.

My TOP TEN thoughts??:

1. Oh, I wish I had read this before I retired, I would have HAD to share this with my co-workers for a good laugh. (If anyone from my old workplace is reading this: does it remind you of anyone?!) Our hospital CEO is/was a hyper man, a tad crazy and a Type A on steroids! He still comes to work before 6 p.m. and rarely leaves before 6 or 7 pm. He would call you to meet him about something at Starbucks before 7 a.m. or on weekends.

2. Haven't we ALL had a boss that needed "to chill out"? My last boss? All I can say is: WOW.

Besides all the things listed above, he had (and probably still has) an office wall full of sticky note "ideas" that were color-coded. Need I say more?

3. Her boss was a Vet? I mean, I can't imagine a Vet that needed to "chill out". The animals he cared for must have felt it, because they can sense these kinds of things. I had an Irish Setter once who, the minute we got to the Vet's office parking lot...would stiffen her legs and not walk and we had to drag her in. She'd literally "put on the brakes" and not want to go a step farther. Don't tell ME they can't tell when something at the Vets is not gong to be pleasant when they get there! So, you can imagine how a hard-ass, hyper Vet wouldn't send signals to any animal he treated to try to get the heck out of Dodge.

4. The lady that did this cleaned the cages, for God's sake. I mean....you think YOUR job stinks?! How'd you like to do hers...day after day...???? With a hyper boss? Do you blame her?

5. I'm going to get arrested. Again. For copying this article and blogging about it. I mean allegedly copying it.....

6. Tranquilizers aren't such a bad thing, right? Maybe it was Boss's Day and she just wanted to give him a present? A little trinket for Duckett. Geesh! What's the big deal?

7. Viagra would have been my drug of choice for him. A little F--kit for Duckett.

8. I thought morning coffee at work was supposed to perk you up? (Evidently her brand was a little smoother of a blend). Good, to the last drop.

9. I wonder if her boss has "chilled out" (just from her attempt)? Did he "get it"??? Or, is he even worse now?

10. Wonder how this woman will explain this incident when she goes job hunting for another job? I can hear it now:

Job interviewer: "Have you ever had a misdemeanor, a felony or been arrested for anything?"
Her: "Ummm...well, kind of".
Job Interviewer: "????"
Her: "Well, I had this boss....." "I cleaned cages at a Vet's office, and you see my boss was this maniac...." "I kind of....umm....put a little (just a little) tranquilizers into his coffee one day.."
Job Interviewer: "You did WHAT?"
Her: "I didn't hurt him. I just wanted a few moments of peace and quiet." "If he would have just chilled out a little, I wouldn't have had to resort to..."
Job Interviewer: "SECURITY!!!!".......