Holy Crap !!!

This real news story stinks:

Once again, a man was found to have climbed into the waste tank of an outdoor toilet, but according to a March report in the Twin Falls (Idaho) Times-News, the emergency crew seemed to accept his story that it was all a mistake and not a manifestation of perversion.

Rescuers from the town of Filer, Idaho, said the man told them he was just looking for his keys that he had accidentally dropped and had been in the tank for 15 minutes before help arrived.

The man declined to identify himself, and no official report was required, but after the man was hosed off by a fire truck, he "discovered" that his keys had been in his pocket all along, and he drove away. [Times-News, 3-6-09]

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MY TOP TEN THOUGHTS:

1. Wait a minute. He drove away? Whew! Remind me not to drive anywhere with him. And, remind me not to buy his used car.

2. He was hosed off by a fire truck? Do you know the pressure of the water that comes off a fire truck? I wonder what state they found him at after they got done. And, is this what they call "waterboarding"?

3. The article begins with: "once again, a man was found to have climbed into a waste tank of an outdoor toilet..." So, is it boring in Idaho? Is this a regular occurrence there?

4. If you were the guy, this would be the ultimate definition of "a dumb shit". He had the keys all along in his pocket?!!!! Bwahaaaaaaaaa.............

5. If he called for help after climbing into the waste tank and being there for 15 minutes and that is how he got rescued...why ON EARTH didn't he just call for help when he thought he lost his keys to begin with (before trying to climb down and get them out) and get help that way in the first place???? Duhhh....

6. If I am ever driving though Idaho and have to use a rest stop portable toilet, remind me NOT to. Who knows who may be lingering there...

7. I wonder if he got bruised from the hard water spraying at him? Did he explain to people after this event that he got the scars (instead) in the war or did he admit how stupid he was?

8. I wonder if he is married, and what the conversation with his wife was like when he got home:

Wife: Hi, honey, how was your day? WHEW..What is that SMELL?

Him: Well, I guess I have had better days...

Wife: I told you not to eat those beans. God, you reek.

Him: No, you don't understand...I....

Wife: Why are your clothes damp? You didn't leave your window open at the car wash AGAIN, did you?

Him: No, I am afraid it is worse...you see I had to go to the bathroom and...

Wife: I TOLD you not to eat those beans. Geez, where is that deodorizer...?

Him: I thought I lost my keys so I kind of had to ...well...kind of climb into the portable toilet tank...

Wife: You did WHAT???

Him: Well, I had to get the keys. I thought I dropped them when I went to the bathroom.

Wife: Was the car locked?

Him.: No

Wife: So, why didn't you use the spare key in the glove compartment?

Him: "...!!! ?????." (Crickets chirping in background)

Wife: Go and hose yourself off with the garden hose out back, will ya? Geesh.

Him: Oh please, not the hose....please, not the hose...

Wife: Oh, and you better talk to Junior when you get done. They found him brushing his teeth in the toilet bowl in the boy's bathroom at school. He said something about not being able to rinse his toothbrush off good enough in the sink.....

9. I wonder what the guy does for a living/career???

10. Oh, God.

I may have dated him once.