Sunday, February 1, 2009

Bottoms Up!!

You know, some people, when they are in a crisis (or are just feeling low) go to some high hill outside and look up to the sky and ask their Creator for a sign. A sign that things are going to get better.

Somehow.
And, Lo and Behold!......they look up and see a wonderous rainbow!!

Some people see a picture of Jesus in a piece of toast.

Some people see the Virgin Mary statues cry real tears.

Me?

Feeling low, from all of the snow, looooonnnnnggggg winter, cold temperatures outside....did what others do not do.

I go to the bathroom. You know....just to ..................................(ahem!)................. contemplate.

So, yesterday....as I perform this (ummm) "ritual"............I go to use the bathroom and happen to need some more toilet paper. And what do I see when I pull the TP out of the cupboard?:


Do you see the heart?
Being the curious observer that I am, I then go into the cupboard to do some (what else?):

Toilet Paper Research.

I pull out the entire package of toilet paper that this roll came in to see if they had all been squished into heart shapes.

Nope.

They are all perfectly round.

No hearts.

So, of course, being the suspicious type.....I figure it is a sign from The Force that I am loved. Even my Tushy. (Which I tell ya' folks...is a LOT to love!) Pah-pum-pum!

I mean my husband SAYS he loves my tushy. But as all women know, he's lying. It is just a ploy to make sure I keep feeling good about myself to keep feeling frisky.

But I know my mom (when I was a baby) loved my tushy. (But ALL mothers love their baby's tushy....they clean it, powder it....heck, they even kiss it.)

I can tell you that there is no one else on earth that I know at the present time (other than my hubby) (who lies) who would go so far as to say they love my tushy.

So I know........................................... it HAS to be a sign from the Force. I am loved (tushy and all).

Geez, I feel warm all over. (See, it got rid of my blues about the cold and snow).

But I feel sorry for The Force.

Because if I was made "in His image", He's got a lot of bun-master exercises to do.
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14 comments:

  1. SaraFebruary 2, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    That is so neat, you must eb really loved:)

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  2. AriaFebruary 2, 2009 at 2:19 PM

    Yes, I used to say pick a cheek and start kissing, but make sure you start early, cause it's an all day chore...

    And, just so you know, all mothers think on the potty... it is probably (not always, but probably) the one place you can think alone, and contemplate the mysteries of the universe... if you're lucky.

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 2, 2009 at 2:41 PM

    You know what I love the most about this post?
    Your label that reads "funny blog about toilet paper" because it makes me laugh to think about someone actually googling "funny blog about toilet paper". It could happen. And probably will.
    I wish I could find a heart in my toilet paper. Usually, I just find empty rolls I have to change out because I'm the only one capable of doing so.
    Sigh.

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  4. MauigirlFebruary 2, 2009 at 3:21 PM

    That must truly be a sign from above. I'm sure it's good luck!

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  5. InsanitykimFebruary 2, 2009 at 3:24 PM

    HAHAHAH!

    I don't even know what to say.

    You are loved, top to bottom?

    ReplyDelete
  6. lizzieFebruary 2, 2009 at 3:58 PM

    LOL! I have come across one of these heart shaped loo rolls before but I must admit that I never thought of blogging it. Funny!

    ReplyDelete
  7. efaqffqaewfmFebruary 2, 2009 at 6:57 PM

    Your blog is always good for a laugh :) This was definitely no exception! I can't say I've ever given the TP roll too much thought before. Now every time I replace the roll, I know I'm gonna look. Not even deliberately... it'll be subconscious but I know I'll do it.

    On a completely different note... when I initially read your comment about my blog layout, I was a tad confused, but then it occurred to me that you looked at the current one and not the new one. I adjusted the link, which I realized had sort of blended in with the crud at the bottom of the post. However, if you're willing, this is the link to the layout I'm working on:

    http://template-viewer.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Retired OneFebruary 2, 2009 at 7:42 PM

    VaBookworm: I went to look at your new template. I love the paperclips, etc.on the new header. (I don't know why I didn't realize that the green and green on the other one was the old template?) But,when I checked your new template it was all written in a foreign language (German?). I am sure it will be in English once you change over to it?
    (Otherwise,I am gonna have to take some classes)haha

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  9. AnonymousFebruary 2, 2009 at 7:45 PM

    LOL!!! and Kearsie made me laugh, too!

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  10. Rick (Ratty)February 2, 2009 at 9:14 PM

    That was great! I love toilet paper humor.

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  11. dreamwalkerFebruary 2, 2009 at 10:27 PM

    Love really good TP as well! You can never get enough of that. ;)

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  12. PollyFebruary 3, 2009 at 1:18 AM

    I laughed at your heart toilet paper. That was so neat. Last week, we found a potato shaped like a heart when my daughter was peeling them for dinner. She couldn't bear to peel it and it is lying on the counter still.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Retired OneFebruary 3, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    Melissa: Glad you liked it. That Kearsie cracks me up in her blog and with her comments, too.

    Ratty: Who knew you liked "toilet paper humor:? I will remember that! (Look out, there more be MORE where that came from!)

    Dreamwalker: I didn't say the Toilet Paper was good. In fact...I think it was from a discount store. (You know the type...you gotta wrap your hand in criss-cross fashion like a mummy before you are safe to try it). Lord...sorry...didn't mean to get so graphic! ha

    Polly: You KNOW you gotta show us a picture of your heart-shaped potato now (on your blog), don't you? And the rest of you? Do NOT (I REPEAT) do NOT post any of those other body parts vegetables...you know...the cucumbers, etc. that look like (well, you know!)
    LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  14. LesleyFebruary 3, 2009 at 7:27 PM

    What a delightful post! I visit your blog from time and time and always get a chuckle. I would sign up as a follower, but I am a complete dunce and don't really know how to "follow." So I'll just keep visiting from time to time!

    ReplyDelete

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